Destiny: The Hunger Games
by The Lady Destiny
Summary: "Katniss Everdeen." I'm numb and for a moment I can't breath then I shot forward. "I volunteer!" "What's your name?" "Katfir Everdeen." Haymitch/OC Winner of 3rd place in Energizer W.I.P. Award
1. No more talk of Darkness

I'm a woman. That's what I tell myself. I tell myself that I can handle it when I lie sleeping and have nightmares or I see all of the faces of the dying as they pass by on their way to my mother, Mrs. Everdeen, I have to hold on to this one detail. I hold my sister, Katniss when they come in but then she falls apart. She's always been emotionally attached to the dying. I'm not much different.

Katniss and I were born fraternal twins but I'm twenty minutes older. I don't know why but I felt like I was abnormal in my little family. I hadn't felt like I was included since my father's death. I'd been a daddy's girl as long as I could remember. I followed him everywhere, except in to the mines. Dad may have taught Katniss and me bow and arrow but when he'd seen how much I disliked using it he'd taught me other ways of getting food for the family. He showed me how to make snares, and how to track animals. He even taught me how to kill them with a knife but he also taught me my passion.

He had swords. Daddy told me that he found them in the forest, where we go to catch food for Momma to cook. I later suspected that the swords were replicas he made of the ones from along time ago, before the capital and the 13 district system was made. Daddy taught me to use sword, daggers, and even axes though they weren't really that hard to use. Axes I used to cut wood down to make repairs on the house or just for a fire but axes were easier to use to kill animals because I could throw them better. Daggers were good for that to but because I took to blades like fish to water I could use my swords and daggers to kill large prey. It helped us.

My talent helped us even more when Dad was killed in the mine collapse. I was able to get us food when Mom and Katniss fell into a depression. I took care of us when no one else could. Prim tried to help; the little darling but I wouldn't let her. I wanted her to stay innocent for me, it was my selfish wish that she never had to be put through more then she has to. So it was selfish for me to lie crying for her, the day of the reaping when I knew Prim's name was being put in that bowl.

The reaping is something everyone here in District 12 hated. One kid, between the ages twelve and eighteen had their names put in two bowls, divided by gender and they chose a paper from each. These two people, one boy, one girl, were sent to the capital to fall prey to a game of killing for the Capital's enjoyment. It's something they do to ensure that we know our places.

So when I arise on this day, the day of the reaping for District 12, I cry for my sister, Primrose, and my sister Katniss. Katniss hasn't been functional since the disaster happened seven years ago when we were eleven but I'll take care of her as long as she needs it. I'll always take care of my family.

With this is mind, I can do anything; even pull myself from my pity party and into my hunting clothes. I'm just dragging on my last boot when I feel the small, frail hand of my twin sister. She'd lost too much weight to make it through the next month if I didn't get her some grain. I'd signed up for tesserae yesterday and they would give the grain and oil to us today. Tesserae is when someone can sign up for a meager grain and oil supply through out a year and in return they put their name in for the reaping again. You may, if you wish, add tesserae for each family member. This year my name will be in thirty-two times today. Katniss will be in eight times, because I wouldn't allow her to put her name in again for tesserae.

"Katfir?" She called for me. I turned on the bed, where I had sat to slip my foot into my hunting boot. The sight of my sister, so rail thin that her bones could be seen through her skin with no problem but her eyes always looked so happy. They used to be pain-filled, but I'm glad that I no longer had to worry about her in pain from depression. Now I just needed to worry about her physical pain. I leant back so that I could look her over, to see if anything I couldn't see was wrong but her soft hand on my shoulder stopped me. I glanced though, at my sleeping mother and eleven year-old sister to make sure they were not awake as well.

"Katniss?" I asked her tentatively. Now that she was sure that my attention was grabbed she brought her other hand from under the blankets and I could see something in her hand, a metal shine met my eyes and I could feel them widen. "Where did you get that?" I asked her, gently taking it from her offering hand.

"The lady, Ms. Madge that you bring the strawberries to told me to give it to you. She said that…" Katniss had to stop for a moment to take breaths. Her lungs were getting worse. Katniss had gone to work in the mines at sixteen without my permission and she'd been crushed between a rock and a large piece of coal. It had nearly crushed her lungs into submission. The damage had forced my mother out of her own pity party and she'd helped Katniss but it was too bad. Katniss might make it, if I could get us real food and maybe extra. We couldn't afford the surgery that would make her better but I could get her things that could heal her better, enough where she could move again without risking death if she stood for to long. "She said that you brought her a bear pelt and that her father only gave you a blanket."

I knew what she was talking about. I'd taken down a bear recently with my sword. It was the best haul I'd had for two years. Bears weren't rare, but it was rare that I took the chance to take it down. They were vicious and had claws that could rake me in half any day. I'd skinned the bear, which had taken up nearly the whole day to do, and I'd sold the meat for a high price and the pelt had went to the mayor in exchange for a warm wool blanket.

See, it's illegal to own weapons, much less, poach on animals. You weren't even supposed to cross the fence to the trees. It was punishable by death, but I had to risk it for the survival of my family just like Dad did.

I looked down now, to the pin. It was golden with a bird on it, a mockingjay. They were hybrids of mockingbirds and jay birds. (Sorry but is that correct?) Their ancestors used to be used in the war by the capital. They would copy what the enemy, the districts, said and then tell them. After the war the birds mated wildly with the native mockingbird and the mockingjay came to be. They can't copy our words, but they copy song.

"This has to be worth something…maybe I can sell it to…" I stopped when Katniss' hand pressed the pin into my palm more. I looked up from the pin and into her sad eyes. Oh, no I've made her sad again.

"For once, Katfir, keep it for yourself." Katniss told me strongly. I felt my own mouth twitch down. I always felt selfish, how could I keep this to myself? I could get a pretty penny for this and maybe get some food for my family that wouldn't be dirty cast offs from others.

"But Katniss," I objected but again she pressed it in my hand. I sighed and gave in for now. Katniss saw my defeat and took the pin from me, pinning it to my black shirt and jacket. I smiled softly at her, moving forward so that I could tuck her back into the same place she hadn't left for years. I made sure to press a kiss to her eyes as they began to close.

"Will you sing for me?" She asked, her voice almost a whisper. It was still early, and Katniss slept all the time now. I sighed softly, debating but really I couldn't take something so small from my sister.

"Of course." I mutter to her but on the inside I want to leave, to head out to the capital and yell at them for the way my sister is, that it's their fault they don't care about us in District 12. Instead I take a deep breath and start singing Katniss' favorite song.

Deep in the glades,

Where the caterpillar eats,

Where the meadows meets the shade,

There's a place of heart and a place of love,

No one hurts, and no one has sorrow,

The willow branches along a hill and beneath it lies our father,

He breathes in the wind and when we meet him,

He'll welcome us with open arms…

I smile as I see Katniss fall into sleep. She loved that song, day or night it would make her happy. Prim liked the willow song but Katniss loved the Glades song because she liked to believe that when it takes her that father will be there waiting to take her to Heaven. I hoped she was right because I wanted her to be happy, so happy that she won't have to worry about when her next meal is that she won't have to worry about the pain her breathing causes her.

I sigh though, because I know it won't happen, it'll never happen to us.

Instead of weeping again I go on my way, out the door, past that weird old worm infected cat and to the roads. I debate for a moment, about just going back, so that I can keep my sisters and mother company but instead I head left, towards the fanciest part of our town.

It's not that fancy, with its beat up market stalls, and the dark entrance to the caves, over seen by the peacekeepers, which make sure that everyone is working who can hold a pick. I don't work in the mines because women are not required to. We are usually expected to sit at home while the men work but that rule has been broken along time ago by more people then not. I'm not heading to the market place though, or the hob, a dark supposedly illegal market where I can sell my meat without real fear, and where things that shouldn't be seen by peacekeepers are sold.

I'm heading to the victory houses. It's the place where the tributes, the one boy and one girl who are put up on the day of reaping, go if they win the Hunger games, which is what they call sticking the 24 tributes from each district into an arena and fighting like dogs, is called. I am not a victor, thankfully, but I'm headed there for a reason. I scored a job a long time ago, when I was barely twelve.

"**Please! I just need a job, anything, I'll do it!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was only twelve. I was expected to go to school but I knew the work and the tesseraes aren't keeping us as feed as I'd hoped. My mother was incapable of working, as well as my sisters. I just needed some money, something that would get my sisters and mother food. I didn't need any; I just wanted to help, to protect them like Daddy told me to.**

"**Go home, girl, you're too young." The peacekeeper guiding the mines growled down at me for the third time. I could see his hand gripping his whip that was tied to his waist. I wanted to beg again, to push him into letting me work in the mines like dad did but as I opened my mouth to beg again but a hand, large and uncomfortable on my shoulder stopped me. I twirled around, nearly stumbling if it weren't for the hand holding me up. In front of me was an older man, or he was older than m but he seemed eighteen, if I had to guess.**

"**You're going to get yourself in trouble, kid." The kid himself said. I balked and I wanted to cry. The man was so worn, I could see something in his eyes that told me that he wasn't normal, that he'd been through to much to be normal anymore. Even at a young age I could tell that this man was special. As the man with rough features, blonde hair and tanned skin that didn't speak of the mines at all, pulled me away from the guards by the hand I felt like I should probably say something, do something against it but maybe he would help me.**

"**Mister…" I said weakly. My stomach was so empty but I was going to be strong. Katniss, Mom, even little bitty Prim needed food more then me. If they had food then maybe Mom and Katniss would start talking again.**

"**Abernathy." He supplied as he continued to drag me away from the populated area. I thought that maybe he was going to stop at the hob. Instead he pulled me in front of the most beautiful place I had ever seen. It had high, pretty gold gates but the inside had pretty houses that weren't made of wood like mine but of metal and were shaped so fancy and fantastical that I could hardly believe they were real. When Mr. Abernathy pushed the gold gates open and pulled me in I had to swivel my head around on my neck fast to catch everything, the gardens, the flowing water, and even the little fish in the ponds in front of the houses.**

**There were ten, but Mr. Abernathy pulled me to the one in the middle, at the end of the block and then stopped, finally on the porch. He finally released my hand and I let it flop to my side as I looked around some more.**

"**Sweetheart," Mr. Abernathy called me to grab my attention. I felt a spark of happiness at being called that. I hadn't been happy in a long time. "Why were you begging the peacekeepers for a job of all people?" He said, sitting on some kind of chair made of metal. It swung in place, which only served to confuse, and amaze me enough to stare at it.**

"**Um," I looked back up to him and into the man's eyes. What pretty eyes, like my teddies eyes, blue. "My daddy isn't here anymore, and my mom and Katniss won't talk, or move and Prim's only five so I need to get us some food. The tesseraes aren't working, because they only come once a month. I know Daddy worked in the mines, so I was going to work there but Cray said I couldn't because I was too young." I told him, and blushed when he leant forward. No one usually paid attention to me when I spoke. I was used to being brushed aside.**

"**You are to young, sweetheart, the dust would kill your lungs before you were eleven." He told me and my lips formed a pout without my permission.**

"**I'm twelve!" I exclaimed, and I only then saw his lips twitch up. He seemed to be mock-shocked for a moment but I didn't know if it was real shock or not.**

"**Really? Your so scrawny, I just thought you were eight!" He told me and this time I knew he was mocking me so I puffed out my chest in pride.**

"**Nope, I'm twelve! I have lungs that can hold out against any dust!" I said enthusiastically and I pushed my curled up fists to my chests as if meaning my lungs. For a moment he looked at me with some weird face before he actually leant his head back and roared with laughter. I watched as he laughed at me but his laughter was contagious and I couldn't control my giggles from coming out. That was the first time I laughed since a year ago, when they told me Daddy wasn't coming back. Looking back, I now know that he hadn't laughed in a long time either.**

"**Tell you what," Mr. Abernathy said, finally laughing no more. "You can work here, cleaning up my place. I don't trust these Avex they sent here." He told me and for a moment I could see his eyes get all glossy like he wasn't with me any more but I smiled at him.**

"**Really? Oh, thank you!" I squealed and before I could think, not that my young self thought much of it, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. Mr. Abernathy didn't move for a long time so, I pulled back, my neck and cheeks red. "Sorry." I muttered, taking a step back. Mr. Abernathy's face had turned weird, and later I would reflect and know that his face held sadness, pain, and wonder.**

"**You don't care about what I did?" Mr. Abernathy asked me. I thought it was weird. I didn't know what he did, was he talking about him carrying me here? This place was wonderful, why would I care if he carried me here?**

"**No, I don't care. I mean, Mom doesn't know I'm here but I'm sure that she won't mind." I told him and he blinked.**

"**Not about dragging you here. Didn't you watch the last Hunger games?" Mr. Abernathy asked me. I tried to remember, and now that I concentrated, and that he'd given me a hint I kind of remember them.**

"**Um, you mean where they put those people in that circle thingy and they have to fight with each other? They show it on that big screen right?" I asked to make sure that I knew what he was talking about. He nodded and I concentrated harder, trying to think about it. "I think, I don't mind. I mean, if I'd minded I'm sure that I'd remember it." I finally decided and my eyes, which I hadn't been really using, turned to look at Mr. Abernathy. His eyes were wet, I didn't know why.**

"**Are you all right, Mr. Abernathy?" I asked him and I took a hesitant step closer to him. To my surprise, and delight his arms wrapped around me.**

"**Haymitch. You can call me Haymitch." He answered. I smiled and burrowed into his arms.**

"**Katfir Everdeen." I whispered, glad that someone was giving me comfort, and not sympathy or pity.**

"**Sweetheart." He said instead of my name.**

Now, my eighteen year-old self pushed open the same golden gates and I headed to the same house, with the same road, and the same abandoned housed around it. I'd been taking care of Haymitch for almost eight years. He was a messy person and sometimes I think he does it just to fire me up. I'll come everyday to see him, and take care of his house for an hour. I swear he messes every room up just to spit me. He has two spare bedrooms that he doesn't even need yet every time I come to see him he has things strewn in those rooms and every other room in the large home.

I go up the driveway, which is different since we don't use cars in District 12, not unless you were coming for the Capital for the reaping. I didn't bother knocking; instead I trudged in, prepared for an hour of hard work. Just like I knew there would be, there were bottles, dirt, wrapper, and all kinds of trash strewn out, just in the hallway. I groaned and started there. At least this means he didn't bother with upstairs. If he trashed the hallway then usually upstairs wasn't part of his temper tantrum.

Once I had gathered as much of the crap as I could I walked into the kitchen to throw them away. Sitting there at the table was none other than Haymitch himself, just sleeping with his face down in his own vomit. I sighed and for a moment I just wanted to shake him, to tell him to get it together. I could never do that, not after what he went through in the Hunger Games, not after the nightmares he has when he doesn't have alcohol.

Instead I worry over the hallway, then the living room, the one bedroom he actually uses, and then the bathroom. When that done I've amazingly spent only forty minutes here. I'm a fast cleaner, after years of practice, and so it no longer takes me four hours to clean, but it takes longer when I have to clean him up, and not just the house.

So now I start cleaning the kitchen which is covered with bottles of wine. I put away the still full ones, and throw away the broken ones and the empty bottles. Once there is nothing else to do, I even took out the trash and cleaned his dirty plates and laundry; I cautiously approached the sleeping Haymitch.

Waking Haymitch was something one with no experience should never do. See Haymitch sleeps with a knife, always, drunk or not drunk (Very rare). So I was very cautious when I nudged his shoulder. He didn't wake and I groaned, it was going to be one of those days. Well mornings really since it was barely two yet. I needed to get out in the forest before all of the night game was gone. I nudged him again, a lot harder but it didn't work. Instead I took a deep breath and screamed at the top of my lungs, "HAYMITCH!"

The blonde jumped up, sending the chair backwards and crashing into the wall. I made sure I was far away from him, so that the wicked hunting knife in his hand didn't get aimed at me. His sleepy blue eyes, which I thought were beautiful, scanned the room and when they landed on me I smiled at him. He dropped the knife onto the table and lay back down. I huffed and now that I knew that I wasn't going to get hurt I moved closer to his hunched muscular form. I shoved his shoulder not too lightly.

"Oi, Haymitch, get up we need you to get in the bed not on the chair…and now that I think about it I should probably feed you something to." I told him, knowing how this was going to go. Haymitch would refuse to move, and then I'd have to beg, and if he didn't move then I had to pull his heavy ass out into the hall and then to his bed. Well, guess what mister? Not today I'm not. Both you and I have better things to worry about then sleeping in a chair.

Instead I go to the sink. When I'd been cleaning the dishes I made sure to fill a bucket with water and drop a few handfuls of ice into it, this ought to get him moving. I might even get him to shower today. I tiptoed to his place on the chair and made sure that when he reacted I wouldn't get hurt before I threw the ice cold water out of the bucket and onto his head. He came up off the table quicker than before and he yelled obscenities as he tried to shake the cold off.

"Now, you are going to bath and get some sleep, Haymitch Abernathy! I've got other things to do then worry about whether you are sleeping in a bed or on a table." I answered, slapping the bucket in the corner. He stared at me, and I could tell he was asking himself what just happened. I rolled my eyes and took his hand, dragging him to his bedroom that happened to connect to the bathroom. I refused to focus on Haymitch's hand in mine or how rough they were. I pushed the buttons on the shower, just like he'd taught me to and then I turned to him. He was standing there, in freezing water soaked clothes but I could still see the drop of his heavy eyelids. I sighed. It was the effect of the alcohol on him, I know that but I hated to see him like this every time I came here.

But he reached out to me that day and gave me a job so that I could keep my family going, so I'm going to keep him going through out the years until I pass.

I walked to him (I'd been standing by the showers), knowing what I had to do but it was always awkward. I was a woman now, eighteen years old, and he was twenty-something. (I can never get him to tell it to me straight but I know he has to be in his twenties from the H. Games) so when I lift his shirt over his head I try not to think about how fit his chest is. I try not to think about how blonde the hairs that lie there are rough and scratchy against my fingers when they brush it. I completely go numb when I have to take his pants and boxers off. Then I force him into the shower and he wakes up enough to bath himself. I'm then released to go try and forget that I just saw a man naked and that no, it wouldn't be right to want him.

I was a woman. What can I say to make it better? Haymitch was attractive, and I'm sure he could have anyone he wanted if he didn't drink but I knew the drinking was something Haymitch couldn't let go of, or he'd fall into a depression that I wouldn't be able to splash him out of.

Once I come to peace with seeing Haymitch's body again I start cooking him something. I cook him eggs, biscuits, and even sausage. Twenty minutes after I've put him in the shower he's walking out, with pants on and then he's putting himself right back into that chair but now he's sober, or as sober as he can get.

"Morning Sweetheart." Haymitch tells me and we won't mention that I just had to strip him, or that he was lying in his own pool of vomit, that would spoil our conversation.

"Good Morning Haymitch." I answered, while placing a plate of the rich food the Capital supplies him with in front of him. He dug in and I made sure to pause a few seconds to make sure that he was really eating, and not faking it. Sometimes he couldn't eat because the alcohol was all he wanted. He tried not to drink while I was in the house, only when I left. "I see you like my garbage now." I tell him, playing on a past joke. Our conversations were always so easy, and it made me happy to have someone to talk to so freely.

"Well, today you didn't put cinnamon in it did you?" Haymitch answered me just as playful. I threw the rag into a hamper that was in the corner of the room and I began to straighten my clothes out. I needed to get going, I'd spent way to long cleaning today. I'm usually out in the woods by now. I come back at the end of the day, after I've cut and sold all of my meat to the people of the hob.

"Why don't you sit and eat with me? You've cooked enough for you and me." Haymitch asks me. I pause because the food does smell wonderful but I can't eat this meal when I knew that my family was counting on my to come back with something to eat today and the night crawlers always fetch a lot of money and not to mention that the reaping will be taking place today. That'll take up most of my day.

"I can't." I muttered, taking off the apron that had protected my already dirty clothes. I walked around the kitchen, making sure that I'd gotten everything that I could see. It's this way that Haymitch is able to grab my arm and pull me to a stop.

"You need to eat. They won't hold you accountable if you eat something." He tells me. Haymitch knows me so well. He knows how I feel selfish that I can walk, talk, and move and my sister can't. He knows that I feel responsible for my family and that I think that I should starve, that it will make them better. Haymitch knows everything about me and I try to know everything about him, because I really want to. I want to be there for him just like he's there for me.

So I sit at the table, and I pull some of the food to me. Not because I'm hungry, even though I am, but because Haymitch knows best. Since he never really tries to get me to eat with him I suppose that I'd gotten thinner then I should be, again. I can never tell when I need to eat because I'm so used to nothing in my stomach.

The foods warm sliding down and it's delicious. I don't know what Haymitch complains about. I think he just complains about my cooking to get me talking. Honestly I love to cook and if I could I would cook all the time. I don't tell people this but if I had the choice I'd want to become a housewife, so that I could make sure that my miner had food, our children had food, and that Haymitch had food. But that won't be possible or necessary; I wasn't going to marry anyone. If I marry someone I'd have to like them like that first and they never can measure up to the person I always picture.

I don't notice the time passing as slowly I get Haymitch talking. I know it's early but Haymitch would have woken up soon anyways, from the nightmares. One time when he was drunk he'd told me that he preferred when I woke him up to when the nightmares woke him. He confessed that he liked to know there was someone there. But those confessions were rare, but beautiful because for a moment Haymitch is completely open and haunted but always beautiful.

I've got it bad, I know I do because Haymitch would never see me as beautiful but a woman has to attach herself to some man. That's the excuse I use in my brain but I know better. I just don't have time to sit and think about how I'd deal with this if I did like Haymitch more then just for his looks. How would I get around that?

When it's reaching four in the morning I have to clean up my plates but I leave the food out for Haymitch and give him strict instructions to eat again before even grabbing a bottle. Then I carry him, because I don't know how else to get him too willingly go to the bed. "Haymitch! I'm not going to change my mind just because you won't move." I grunted when I have to hitch him farther on to my shoulder.

"I can always try, sweetheart." Haymitch answers. I swing the door open and the clean bedroom looks back at us. I drag him through the doors and to the bed, before I throw him onto it. He doesn't move, lying there face down.

"Ugh, you are such a baby!" I explode but it's affectionate because I can never get mad at Haymitch.

"Always." Haymitch answers because I always call him that, though he deserves it. So with a heave I have him turned over onto his back. Now I throw the blankets over him and flop on the bed, uncaring that the man was under me. "Did you feel that sudden gust of air? I'm not sure because it was so light." Haymitch pretends. I slap his chest and again I ignore the hairs and the muscle there.

"I am not that skinny." I pushed myself off of him and sighed. He really was a big baby. I turn off the light, which I had only turned on when I was cleaning. "Get some more sleep before the reaping, but you've got to get up and get dressed after that." I told him. I didn't have to see him in the darkness to know that he tensed up. The reaping was just as hard on him as it was on me, except he has to get through all of the memories of the arena and I don't.

I sat on the edge of the bed and laid a hand on his arm. "It's going to be fine this year, Haymitch." I tried to sooth. In response he begins to try and get comfortable in the Capital bed that he so rarely falls asleep in. "It'll be over sooner than-"

"How many times?" Haymitch mutters, seeing right through my comfort. I sighed again and moved the blanket to protect him from the cold but he only asks me again. "Katfir, how many times?" He asks and there is no mocking in it, none of the comforting teasing there. His hand has enclosed around my wrist as I was fixing his blankets and I stilled.

"Thirty two." I answered and his hand tightens. I couldn't do anything because I hated when people worried about me and I surely couldn't handle it when the always sarcastic Haymitch was worrying.

"I'm sorry." Haymitch muttered and to my shock he pulls me down into a brief hug. We'd shared comfort for each other before; it was nothing big seeing as I saw him naked occasionally. (I mean what kind of boundaries are there after that?) This hug though was different, and worrisome. It was always tense for us when the reaping was close. I returned the hug to Haymitch because I know he needs it, and maybe I do to. I hope that it will keep the nightmares away for him this time.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." I told him when I had to pull back. His arms fall down and again I adjust the blankets but this time he doesn't stop me. "I mean there are people with their names in more times than me so I should be fine and so will Katniss and Prim so you and I don't need to worry about it." I told him and as I was about to rise he spoke again.

"Will you sing?" He asked me. I sighed and sat back down. Why do Haymitch and Prim always know how to make me stay?

"Of course." I answer. I should have seen it coming and again I can't say no, not because I don't want to but because I want this man to be happy again without the aide of wine or whiskey. With this in mind I have to open my mouth and sing.

"_No more talk of darkness,_

_Forget your wide-eyed fears._

_I'm here, nothing can harm you-_

_My words will warm and calm you._

_Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears._

_I'm here with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you…_

_Let me be your shelter, let me be your light._

_You're safe: No-one will find you your fears are far behind you…"_

I continued to sing until I knew he was gone into a world where my words couldn't be heard. I smiled and leant down to kiss his forehead. There was no meaning behind it; I just liked to know that he could fall asleep to my voice. It was something I was proud of, grudgingly. I mean my voice must be good if everyone seemed to love it so much. I stayed a moment at Haymitch's bedside and I wanted to stay, just like with my family but this time I wanted to stay because I felt safe here with Haymitch because he has always looked after me when I couldn't take the pressure of being the only way my family stays alive.

I walked out of the house though, because my family does need me. They need me to take care of them and I needed to take care of myself- and Haymitch. I took off through the cover of dark. It was only four in the morning right now so no one would be outside to see me walk away from the village, and through the few trees that were inside the fence.

The fence itself was supposed to be electric but electricity in District 12 is needed at the mines, so they rarely run it. I'm thankful for this because it allows me to slip in between the wires and out into the forest. I ran through the forest, and I was happy to hear all of the animals greeting me as I ran to my hiding spot where my passions were hidden, my swords. They were simple, clean and easy to use if you knew the way to do it. I pulled them from a hollow tree and with them I pulled a small axe, hard to chop with but good to throw.

For four hours I hunted. I took down five squirrels, ten birds, and one wild turkey which were a good haul but not good enough. I could sell the squirrels to the baker, as long as his wife isn't there to see him. Cray, the head peacekeeper will take the wild turkey if I go to the back of his house. He won't be there but his daughter will pay for it to. Five of the birds I will sell to Greasy Sau and she'll giggle.

That's exactly what happened, just like every day and the money in my pouch was good. I bought us some crackers, for the cheese from Prim's goat, and then some herbs to put in the bird soup we will end up having. It was when I was walking by the baker's store that I paused. In the inside stood a boy, with blonde hair and what I knew were grey eyes. He I knew well. We were best friends, despite the fact he was a merchant instead of someone like me from the Seam. It was with this in mind that I stepped into the store.

Peeta, the boy with blonde hair and beautiful eyes looked up from the cake that he was icing and as always with Peeta it was beautiful. "Peeta." I greeted. I could see the stress of the day that I knew was in my own eyes, it was even in Haymitch's eyes.

"Fir." He greeted as well, wiping his hands off on the apron around his abdomen. I could see under that he was already dressed in his clothes for the reaping. I needed to get dressed myself but I wanted to put it off as long as I could. "What are you doing here today?"

"The usual thing I do on the reaping day." I answered and it was true. I always visited around, just in case I never got to see anyone again. Sadly Peeta, Haymitch, and my family were the only people that I am close enough to visit.

"Nice pin." Peeta said moving closer to see it.

"It's a mockingjay. It's a present from Madge for the bear skin." I mutter. I don't want any peacekeeper to hear. The streets were crowded with them today because of the work they were putting into to make the justice building look presentable for the reaping and then for the Hunger games themselves.

"And you kept it?" Peeta's voice isn't judgmental, he never is, only curious. I smiled at him and relaxed a bit. Peeta had taken off the apron all together and was moving the finished cake to the window so potential customers could see it.

"Upon Katniss' request of course." I said bitterly. I wanted to get more money to possibly feed her with or put towards the small savings we were trying to keep should one of us pass and when I say this I mean I'm trying to make sure they are taken care of if I am killed for hunting.

"It's good that you've got something for yourself." Peeta said and laughed when I reached out to cuff his shoulder. Ah, there's good old Peeta who likes to laugh but he sobers quickly and I want to mourn that fleeting happiness. If I'm lucky I'll get to see him here tomorrow and he'll be happy again.

"I've got to go get dressed…" I finally say because I couldn't put it off any longer. I needed to be there to get Katniss to the square. They made Katniss go, even though she could barely get out of bed. Lucky for us they give us something to wheel her out on, so that she doesn't have to deal with to much pain.

"I'll see you at…" Peeta tries to say it but I smile with pain clear in the pull of my lips and Peeta smiles back before we whispered our good-byes. I hick my bag back on to my back and I'm off to my family where they are waiting. On the way there I begin to think. It's not that hard to do here in District 12 because I have a lot to think about, but mostly it's just me worrying.

One paper for Prim, Eight each for Katniss and Peeta. That's how much I had to worry over. Then thirty-two times for me. I was just lucky that Haymitch didn't have to put his name in but I have to think of how I'm going to take care of him, and patch him up when he gets back from watching even more of his tributes dying painful, tortuous deaths.

I had so much to worry about this year but after this one Katniss, Peeta, and I no longer have to worry about the Hunger Games. Then I'll only worry about Prim and Haymitch. I can comfort Prim because I won't allow her to call for tesserae like I did. I'll have more time to hunt once I don't have to worry about school, which I 'graduated' yesterday at a dismal ceremony. I'll take care of Haymitch to, always, so that'll take up a little of my day and of course stay in contact with Peeta but I can do that when I sell them squirrels.

I don't get to worry about planning out the rest of my life because I've reached the small cabin. I'm happy I have because peacekeepers have begun pushing people into the streets and to the justice building. I walk into the cabin, with its gaping boards and small hearth. At once I'm nearly tackled by Prim.

"Katfir!" She yelps and I can hear the tears. At once I kneel before her, dropping the pack on the floor. I look into her face and I can see the tear tracks, the redness of her eyes and I'm worried for her.

"It's going to be all right Prim." I comfort her and she keeps her little arms wrapped around my shoulders. "Your name is only in once little rose so you don't have to worry at all." I soothe and with little effort I pick her up and set her on the ugly, but sturdy, table in the middle of the kitchen. Mother is fluttering around, going over what I brought home and Katniss is in that contraption. The one they bring for her with its two wheels and its automatic controls that are so high tech that I wonder why they even bother to bring Katniss to the justice court with it.

"But you're in Thirty-two times!" Prim says her voice to high-pitched from the crying. I shush her gently and hum as I keep her in my arms. Katniss rolls herself over and I gently wrap and arm around her too. I know she's worried, we all are but I was going to be the rock for this family as long as they were happy.

"Shhh, don't worry you two, I'm going to be just fine. I know people who are going in fifty times!" I tried to comfort but it was useless so instead I kissed both of their foreheads. "There is no chance that out of all of the little pieces of papers that they will chose mine. I'm sure that I'll be fine and then we can come back home and I'll go catch us some food to celebrate." Prim sniffled. I don't know how much I helped but I could just see over Prim's shoulder, as she buried her face in my own shoulder, that even my mother had stopped to listen to my assurances.

I tried hard to believe them as well. It was easier not to talk about the reaping and instead just go through it but it was Prim's first time, and she needed me. I just hoped that I could help her.

"Katfir, I left you out a dress, you should go change and bath before the peacekeepers come." My mother told me softly and she shuffled forward to hug the two in my place. I can see Prim stiffen. She hadn't liked Momma to much after mother had stopped talking. She'd forgiven Katniss because Katniss had apologized but Mom still insisted that she couldn't help it.

I refused to go on about this again and instead I did as my mother rightly suggested. When I bathed, it was nothing like Haymitch's fancy shower. There was merely a tub of Luke-warm water with a rag there. I was fine with it because I'd never taken a shower. I didn't want Haymitch to think that I took care of him because I wanted something from him, no I wanted him to know that I didn't do it for the money anymore but because I cared.

I bathed quickly only scratching off the dirt where I would be visible, my legs, arms, neck, and face. I tied my hair up in a complex braid but that was as far as I went with voluntarily dressing up. Next after allowing myself to dry I put on the beautiful, simple blue dress that had once been my mothers. Instead it had become my reaping dress.

I came out of the bedroom, which was really only split into another room by more gaping boards that masqueraded as a wall. I'd brought wood to fix the walls but I had to wait on it to grey so that no one suspected where I got it from. I swished around in a circle, trying desperately to cheer my family up. "What do you think?" I asked sweetly. They all turned and I smiled at them.

"Beautiful!" Prim chimed, also trying to make an effort for me. She was eating some of the birds that I'd brought back. Mother had seasoned it and cooked it. I smiled at my mom and kissed her cheek now. She held me close in an embrace and I fully returned it. I don't blame her for the way she reacted to Dad's death because it was only proof that she was really in love with him.

I didn't get to say anything else, and I surely wasn't going to eat the bird that mom was now holding out on a plate to me. The door was nearly knocked off of the door hinges by the peacekeepers that were here to bring Katniss to the square. I growled in frustration at them and opened the door from them. Their stone faces didn't change as they stepped past me and took the handles of Katniss' chair. I didn't look back, knowing that I could trust Mom to get Prim to the square on time, so that I could hold Katniss' hand.

Together we were forced through the streets with other people. I could see the peacekeepers had to keep a hand on the new eleven year old children to the square. I winced when a peacekeeper got feed up with the loud sobbing and hit the child over the head. This act of violence made me glance back at Prim who was being much more silent in her own crying. When she saw my eyes on her I winked at her and she giggled. I was forced to look forward as Katniss and I were placed in the line in the square.

They had roped off the square, like every reaping day. They'd made a line for boys and one for women. At the start of the fast moving line was a peacekeeper sitting at a table ready to stick you with an electric hand-machine and then force your finger print onto a piece of paper. Then you are forced onto the girl or boy side of the square to wait out the calling out of the reaping.

It only takes three minutes for my turn to come and I look back to node at my sisters. It's unlikely that I'll be able to find them once they force me into the crowd but that won't stop me from trying.

"Name." The peacekeeper said roughly, uncaring. Why should her care? He's well taken care of and he's too old to be put into his reaping. I sigh and say, "Katfir Everdeen." Just like I do every year I hold out my hand and they buzz it, causing a spike of pain to go through my entire arm but I don't mine. They wait for the blood to well up and then forcefully press my finger to the paper in front of me just like the thirty-one times before it. I move out of the way, before the peacekeepers could push me and I try to slow down once I reach the crowd that was moving so that I could hopefully see my sisters. It's no use though because as soon as I start walking a swarm of blue and white clothes is all I can see.

I try to look for them, pushing people out of the way, even jumping on the spot but we were to late getting here and now they've closed off the area. I know if I don't stop moving they'll punish me either once the reaping starts of right there in front of my family, neighbors and God. I take a breath, because if I don't I'm going to announce my worry and get in trouble.

After a moment of silence where not even a rustle of clothing could be heard the anthem for the Capital started playing. I wince and sigh as the justice building doors opened to the haunting tune. Right out of the doors walked the Governor, the head peacekeeper and to no one who's ever met him, a drunken Haymitch. I watch and I can tell that he's not fully drunk. It makes since, he's been drunk so many times that he couldn't get drunk between the time I sobered him up and the time he got forced here himself.

I watch as then that the person straight from the capital comes out all hyper. She had large pink tinted white hair and pale skin. She had bright pink dyed lips and bright pink clothes that made her stand out in the white and blue, depressing crowd. I watch as she eagerly scampers to the microphone, and I have to repress a giggle when I see Haymitch purposely turn in his chair and puke over the side of the raised platform and onto the ground right when she starts speaking. The woman, who I know as the presenter for District 12 in the Capital as she's been every year for almost three years, opens her mouth and I repress any noise I want to make at her voice.

"I'm Effie Trinket, and…" It's the same speech, from every reaping that I've been to. Even when she wasn't the presenter it was the same Capital written speech. The only thing that stuck out from her speech was the ending. It was the same as every year but I could never get past that saying. "Welcome to the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games everyone." She starts, clasping her hands together. "It's an honor that the Capital presents to each district…" She goes into the speech and they even play the same video of all of the Districts.

Basically the Hunger Games were formed when an up-rising took place where the Districts rose against the harsh Capital. The war went on for maybe three years before the Capital grew tired of us and they completely bombed District 13. That District is the last one they show, with the Justice building in District 13 being shown, or should I sat the ruins of it. And then she says the one line that always makes me pay attention.

"…And remember…May the Odds be ever in your favor." Effie says and I shudder at the line. It means that she's ready to choose from the two bowls they've wheeled in. In that left bowl, the one she's shoving her hand in, my name is in thirty-two times, my twin's eight, and Prim's name is in there once. What was the chance that one of those forty-one slips will get pulled, when some people were in fifty times. Effie pulls her hand out and in that one hand is a paper with some poor souls name on it. She shuffled back to the micro phone and she smiled at everyone, because the Capital doesn't get that who ever gets picked will be dead and we'll never see them again.

I watch just like every year as she opens the paper and then pauses for what she thinks is effect and then my face gets pale as I hear, "Katniss Everdeen." Come from her mouth. I freeze because they couldn't have picked her. She'd never make it in the arena with her injury, she's be dead within the first moment the gong sounded. They're pushing my sobbing sister through the cleared row that leads to the stairs and I push through the crowd to get to the end of the row. Prim is shouting, sobbing violently just as much as Katniss but my brain is reeling to much to scream our shout. Instead I try to force myself to my sister. She's reaching back out of her chair and then I scream.

"I volunteer!" I shout and I can see everything stop. I can see Haymitch's body rise to steady for him to be drunk but all I see is my sister being carted away in a wheel chair and in my mind I'm doing the only thing that could save her. "I volunteer as tribute instead of Katniss." I say again and Effie has nearly gone into a stroke because no one has volunteered for District 12 in over fifty years in the least.

The peacekeepers move away from my sister now and instead they come around me. I'm numb but not numb enough to miss Haymitch throw the chair he'd been sitting in at the wall. I watch it crumble but I don't really register that Haymitch is being drug away by the peacekeepers so that they can calm him down. They can't really do anything to him since he's a victor so it doesn't spike interest in my numb mind. The only things that do register are my sisters calling out and I can hear my mother's voice from the front of the people that they've gathered in market area.

The peacekeepers bring me to the steps, one pair for girls, the other for boys. I hesitantly rise up the stairs and I can feel myself trembling as I stand at the required spot where I've seen people coming to terms with their last moments in District 12. There had always been that hidden worry but I didn't like to actually think about what it would be like to know I'd never see these people or this place again. I'd never make it through this, I didn't have the strength to. As Effie exclaims, and the people try to control my sister who's climbing out of her chair, and my littler sister Prim who is now screaming in despair.

It's completely by mistake that my eyes meet Haymitch's but they knock me out of my stupor because I can see the pain that he's hiding. I'd never thought about how my being picked might effect him but I realized that now he's going to have to watch not only a teenager go to his and her death with his help but he's going to have to watch the one person who has taken care of him go to her death.

It's with this revelation that a feeling bubbles up in my chest.

Determination.

I won't allow Haymitch to spent the rest of his life alone in a drunken stupor with only the memories of everyone's death's on his min, especially my own. I turn from his pain-filled gaze so that I'm looking at Effie Trinket who is talking. They've sub-dued my sisters enough for her to talk again.

"So, my dear volunteer, what is the name of our new tribute?" She asked me, putting the microphone in front of my mouth and I stare at her face blankly for a moment because my mind is stretching to think. They'll show these latter, to the whole world and I know that I have to get sponsors later, so I'd best act like I wanted to volunteer. With this in mind I force a smile that probably comes out like a grimace and answer her.

"Katfir Everdeen." I tell her, I'm surprised at how steady my voice is but I'm not surprised by the high-pitched scream of sorrow that comes from my sister. She needs to be quite or they'll punish her again.

"Katfir, I'll bet anything that, the young girl right there was your sister, wasn't it?" Effie asks to me and I force my eyes to meet Katniss' as I answer her.

"My twin sister, yes." I say and it seems just as steady as before but I can almost hear the pain that was coming from my family now as they're dragged from the viewing area because of the noise they are permitting.

"Well isn't this wonderful, let's see which young man will be joining you in the glorious Hunger games." She says into the microphone and I turn my head to watch her nearly skip to the other bowl. I'm not numb anymore, now I'm alert and because of this alertness when my eyes meet Haymitch's again I can see more then the pain, I can see the anger. He's angry enough that should a peacekeeper come with in ten paces of him I'm sure that Haymitch would take the chance to snap there necks or worse, he'll make the death painful. His status as victor won't save him from that because murder is punishable by death in public whipping.

So I keep his eyes locked with mine as Effie Trinket takes her time choosing a paper from the bowl. I'm hoping that as long as his attention is on me he won't do anything dangerous with his balled up fists. I breathed in deep when I heard Effie next to me open the next paper. I got a moment of warning, as I read the name, breaking eye-contact with Haymitch.

"Peeta Mellark." She says I swivel my head to look for him. How much did the odds hate me? First my sister, then me, then Peeta? I let out one of my own cries, and force my hand over my mouth. Peeta is just as numb as I'd been when my sister's name was called. I can see that nothing has really hit him yet but when they finally stop him at the steps, like they'd done to me. He stands there for a moment before waking up the steps. His eyes are reeling, going everywhere and I want to cry just as much as I'd wanted to but been unable to do for my sister.

"Well, here we are District 12 our two tributes to represent us in the Hunger Games. How about a handshake between tributes?" Effie tells us. I turn to stare at Peeta and we are both unable to process what's happening. I can't take it, so instead of giving him a handshake I hug him. I couldn't help myself. He was my best friend; I'd known him since I was five. He crushes me in his own arms and we can't do anything else because it's time for the crowd to applaud for us but no one is.

We separate now to look out, and I have to force the tears back because I know that the cameras will be showing this later, and it won't be good if I end up with poofy red eyes. Instead I listen as the mayor is handed the microphone, and he begins readying to us the long Treaty of treason, which he is required to read to us every year. I try not to show any emotion, but like I've said before, I'm not good with hiding emotions. My eyes are trained on the hill; I know that I'd just been there that morning hunting with my axe.

Would I even be able to get my axe? Maybe someone will find it one day and put it to good use by feeding their family with it. For a moment I let my eyes move around again. Prim and Katniss are both crying and enveloped in my mother's arms. I want to say that I feel sad but I'm happy that I could take Katniss' place. Now that her name has been officially called she can't be called again. Mine can't either, merely because if I don't come back I'll be dead, and if I do come back I'll be a Victor.

Wait…If I come back I'll be a victor. If I come back I'll be with Haymitch in those beautiful houses and I'll be able to understand what he's been through. My family won't have to worry anymore because I'll be able to support them with the Family's Act which gives them free food and money every month. I'll be able to take care of everybody indefinitely. All I have to do is survive.

And I'm good at surviving.

**Hey guys! Looks like I'm back in action right? Don't know how long I've been gone a long time but it feels like forever! I don't know how long the updates are going to be now and how far apart they are going to be so try and bare with me while I get back in the swing of things. There is a poll on my profile so go and vote for what story you want me to start next!**

**I'm going to start doing a question an update, so here's the first one.**

**Who is your favorite Hunger Games character and why?**


	2. Forget these wideeyed fears

Peeta and I are standing on the stage, and I'm trying to think of what I have to do. Surviving will only be possible if they give us swords or axes in the arena. One year they didn't give them any weapons and they sent them into a rocky terrain. That was the year the tribute from District 1 went crazy and killed everyone with a brick. If that wasn't the worst he also tried to eat them once they were dead. I just hope that I don't go so crazy that I start eating people.

After the reading of the Treaty of Treason, which was so long that it was still going on, Haymitch will have to come to congratulate us. That is if he was still here. He'd stormed off stage, to where I'm not sure but he was gone now. So they'll probably skip right to the second round of applause that the audience had to give. Then the anthem will play again. After that all I know is that the tributes are taken into the justice building and given ten minutes to say good-bye to their families.

"…and so began the glorious tradition of the Hunger Games." Finished the mayor and as he sat down in his chair, a little more heavily then normal, (after all he probably knows me as that girl who sells him strawberries) Effie Trinket came scuttling back up in front of the stage holding the microphone to her dyed lips.

"What an exciting day!" Effie Trinket warbles. She's probably excited to have something happening for once with the District 12 tributes. Everyone from the past has always been too scared and starved to do anything with. "And there is more excitement to come in the games! May the odds ever be in your favor!" Effie says and I wait for the applause but like the time before there were no applauds, because applauds are loud and rude.

Instead to my shock, and Peeta's to I'm sure, the audience one by one, starting with one and then another, they touched their three middle fingers of their left hand to their lips and then held it out to me. I felt my heart contract. This meant admiration, it means good-bye to somebody you love. I smiled, not for happiness, but with appreciation for the gesture because it'll probably be the last thing I remember from my District 12. I hesitantly returned the gesture before the peacekeepers came on stage and boxed Peeta and I in.

The next part went by quickly as the Peacekeepers forced us into the justice building and then through it. I didn't get to look around because Peeta and I were split as we were shoved and locked in separate rooms. I turned to the room and I have to say t was glamorous. Surprisingly it wasn't as beautiful as Haymitch's house, but it was just as expensive. The curtains were a thick red fabric and the seats were velvet, which I only knew because my mother owned a dress with a collar of velvet. I gently sat in the seat and ran my hands along the fabric.

The justice building really wasn't that fancy when you looked at it, the rooms looked more bare then most of the houses in the seams. I can tell that I was in shock because what other reason could I have for the thoughts of the décor?

I was supposed to wait here patiently but I couldn't help it. I rose from the chair to pace in front of the window. I knew little about what happened once we got to the Capital but I knew that before I could get there I would be surrounded by cameras with Peeta as we got onto the train. Then I knew I had to worry about getting sponsors and there were two good ways to do that. You impressed them at the interview which was held by Caesar Flickerman, who does it every year. Then you have to go through rigorous training in an attempt to give you a sporting chance in the arena. Then I think that the gamekeepers gather to rate you on your best skill. If I'm lucky mine will be axes and swords.

I'm not allowed another moment to think because suddenly the door is forced open and my sister is wheeled in along with the rest of my family. I gather Prim up because she is the first to come running at me. I balance her figure on my hip as she weeps in lung racking sobs.

"Shhh, Prim, Prim I need you to listen." I comforted her and she moved back to listen to me. I sit her down in the chair just so that she'll be able to look me in the face. "I'm going to need you to be a big girl for me all right." I told her, grabbing her attention firmly. "I know you don't like to hunt but you can support the family with your goat if your smart and I know that you are smart. Make sure that Katniss gets her food down and if they go back to that place, don't panic okay. I'll always be right there." I pressed my hand into her chest, right over her heart. She's still crying but I move on to hug Katniss who if possible is crying more than Prim is.

"Katniss," I breathed and looked into her eyes, which conflict with my bright green ones. I know that my eyes will be brighter now, with worry, anger, and sadness. "Don't leave Prim, do you understand?" I asked her. She nodded but I wasn't satisfied. "Don't you dare get out of that bed. I don't want you taking yourself away from Prim or Mom, okay?" She nodes again and I hug her again before moving on to Mom who is trying her best to control her own emotions for the best of her children but I took her small frame into my arms and she collapsed for a moment.

"I'm so sorry Katfir!" Momma nearly screams. I know what she's apologizing for, for having me. I know that she doesn't mean that she hates me but just like me she didn't want children only because of the reaping. If I could not have to worry about my kids going into the Hunger games I would be okay with children but I couldn't do it.

I tightened my grip on my Momma as the door is opened and the peacekeepers are instantly in the room. The ten minutes that they allowed me with my family is up and I let one tear shine down my cheek as they are forced out of the doors and then we were separated by the door. I stare at it for a moment and I wipe the tear from my face and turn back to the window, ready to start pacing again but suddenly the door is swung back open violently. I turned sharply but before I could see who it was I was gathered in a hug. I didn't need my eyes to know who it was though. All I needed was that familiar set of arms, and that same heavy smell of liquor.

"Haymitch…" I breathed and I wrapped my own arms around his large shoulders. I was so small compared to him but I didn't mind as he lifted my feet off of the ground and he shoved his face in my neck. I knew it would be hard for him. Not only will he have to deal with a teenager going to their death this year, but now it is someone he knows and hopefully cares about.

"Sweetheart…." Haymitch answers but there really isn't anything that we can say to each other, because there is nothing either of us can do but try and get me through the games.

"I'm going to win, Haymitch." I suddenly say. He pulls back, not placing me down and I wonder at his strength that he rarely shows. "I won't abandon you." I told him and I place both my hands on his face. I know when my eyes connect with his eyes that I'm close to giving away that one emotion that I had buried inside me but I was so lost, so scared of dying in that arena by someone's hands and leaving everyone to themselves which is never a good idea.

"Of course you won't, sweetheart, not on purpose." He tells me and I know that he is feeling pain because I can see it in those eyes as he lets me stand back on my feet. I let my hands drop from his face but on to his chest. My eyes were glued to his beautiful blue grey ones and it doesn't seem like he can take his from mine either.

"I'm good at surviving; it's the only thing I'm good at." I told him, and because I can't stand the pain there in my favorite pair of eyes I start straightening his outfit. It hadn't been straight when he'd put it on and walked out in that square but I tried my best to straighten out the shirt and vest.

"You aren't this good." Haymitch told me and bends so he looked directly in my eyes. All my attention is on him and I don't mind that when he bent down his long loose hair brushes my temple.

"I can learn to be." I answered. We stare at each other, and I can't move and he doesn't either. I don't know what he's thinking about but I don't ask either because I don't want him to know that I'm thinking of how close he is, or how I can't think of the games or what's to come simply because he's captured my attention and he's had it for years.

"Times up!" A Peacekeeper's voice comes from behind the door and my eyes involuntarily flick to the door in annoyance. They must have said that before, when it was me and my family in here. I looked back to Haymitch but he didn't seem to have noticed the Peacekeeper's warning so I was the one who had to step away from him, causing him to come back from whatever thought he was stuck in. I straightened my own dress up and straightened the mockingjay pin that glistened in the little sunlight that slipped through the curtains. The doors opened but this time there wasn't a flood of peacekeepers. Instead another stocky man walks in. The doors close, and Haymitch is still inside, which only confuses me.

The man I recognized as Peeta's father and from the poof of his red eyes I can tell that he has only just finished talking to his son. He sits in the chair, heavily and I don't hold it against him that he can't speak because some time in the future I'll be forced into being an enemy of his son. He pulls out a white package from his apron which he hadn't taken off from working this morning. I took the offering, glancing at Haymitch who opens the curtain and looks out to where I'm sure the Capital train is waiting for Peeta and I. I turn back to the man before me because I don't want to see the look on Haymitch's face.

I opened the package and inside was still warm white chocolate cookies. I don't know how he knew that these were my favorites but it was probably through Peeta because he was the only one who knew this seemingly small detail about me.

"Thank you," I force out of my lips. "It's a wonderful gift." I acknowledge and I close the package because I can't look at them for to long because they make me think of how my family and I have eaten nothing like this before even when my father was alive. I can't think of anything to say to the man because despite my friendship with his son I don't know a thing about his father.

"My son talks about you." He says. I look at him from where I'd stared at the floor and his face is earnest. "He loves you, so please, if-if it's you in the arena," My breath hitches because I don't know how to take this news, I've never known how to take news like this. "Please, please make it quick." He chokes out. I'm sure that my mouth is open in shock because Peeta had never let on. He'd never told me and he'd never made any advances. How was I supposed to react to this? All I know is that the Peacekeeper was again shouting for our time to be up and that the man is rising from the chair. I hear the ripping of the curtain as Haymitch turns to the man and speaks something low so that I know that I'm not supposed to hear it.

"Do you really believe that she needs to be thinking about that kind of thing on top of the games? That's just selfish." Haymitch growls at the man and the man flinches away from him. I'd do something but I'm still struck speechless. Haymitch is right though. I can't think of Peeta's feelings towards me so just like my own emotions I buried them deep, deep down in my brain and heart. I can't let them interfere because I've made a promise to Haymitch and when promises are made, I keep them. It's just the way my mind and body works.

I watch now as the baker is hustled out of the door and then the peacekeepers are surrounding Haymitch and I and I realize that Haymitch has to go on the train as well. Haymitch must know that I'm unable to do it myself so it wraps his arm around my shoulders and gets me moving again. Soon, we are walking through the maze like halls of the justice building so that we can walk to the train. I wanted to choke up and let all of my emotions consume me but I can't do that yet, not until night.

The train station, just a small drive by a car, which I've never been in before now, is just as bland as the outside of the justice building. I am walking on my own now but Haymitch is not far behind me because we are being mobbed by the fifty reporters that came with the Capital people to catch sight of the tributes from District 12. I climb onto the train that I've seen so many tributes leave in and never come back. Peeta is there waiting for me and together we stand while we load. The reporters had to eventually stop and get on the train in there part a long ways down the large metal train. Haymitch had disappeared into the train and I know for a fact that he is no doubt looking for alcohol to numb the pain that the day has brought him and for once I feel like joining him in his trip down hill.

The doors finally close and we are allowed by Effie Trinket herself to walk away from the door. While we are being guided down the train I feel its smooth take off. I know from the few lessons on the train from school that we are now traveling two hundred and fifty miles an hour to the Capital. Our journey to the Capital will take a day and a night. Peeta and I are both given separate quarters. They come with a bedroom, a dressing area, and a private bathroom with hot and cold running water. I could fit my entire house in my one quarter. I'm left there by Effie Trinket, having already left Peeta at his quarters. She gives me instructions to do anything I want, wear anything I want, everything is at my disposal but I am to be ready for supper in an hour.

So when she leaves I do the sensible thing which is to head to the bathroom. I can't fall asleep in an hour, not with this much to think about and I really don't want to deal with the clothes right at the moment. So I look to the shower. It's just like Haymitch's but the buttons are different. I'm frustrated that I can't tell what I'm supposed to push so one by one I push the buttons. Finally I get the water going as if it was rain and a rose like smell is coming from the water. I took my dress off of my shoulders and I barely remember the pin on my shirt. I don't know what to do with it so I'm forced to leave it there on the floor.

As I stepped in the shower I realize that for that moment I was glad that I wouldn't have to go back home to that bath tub. The shower was amazing. The water cascaded down my hair and my face, over my shoulders, and over my abdomen. I thought I was ready to pass out because the pleasure of the running water and rose scent made me so happy. I ran the soap that was given over my body and my nose smelt a fresh scent of roses. I made sure that my entire body was washed, including hair and when I stepped out I automatically wanted to step back into the warm steam of the shower. Instead I force myself to dry off using the electricity pole. I'm amazed with the laziness of the Capital people.

There was nothing that I could do now except dress so I made my way to the dressing area but then my mind goes blank because there in the closet hundreds of outfits are hung up. I don't know quite what to do. I've only ever had three outfits, my hunting outfit, my reaping dress, and my school uniform. Those were the only ones. So with surprising happiness I go through the multicolored closet. My enthusiasm is soon diminished by the outrageous style of the clothing. Of course one of the things that were meant to make me appreciate the Capital is awful.

Finally, after searching I find a green shirt that flows and black pants that only have small slits in the legs with green embroidery. It'll have to do because I'm almost past my hour time limit and I don't want Effie to get angry with me the first day I've known her. True enough the moment I remember to pin the golden mockingjay pin to my shirt Effie's voice is flowing through the metal of the door to my quarters.

"Katfir, are you ready?" She squeaks out and I roll my eyes skyward because her voice is really annoying with its high pitch. But instead of telling her this I settle for opening the door and smiling tightly at her. I'm happy because for that small hour I was able to block out everything that had happened to me. The moment Effie leads me into the living space of the train though it all comes back because there is Peeta surrounded by all of this fancy metal, crystal, and even mahogany. They haven't spared anything and everything is fancy and something that would shock anyone who hadn't been taking care of Haymitch Abernathy since they were twelve.

So because of this I am not completely overwhelmed like Peeta looks. Instead I take glances at our surroundings, and I can see the darkness out the windows. We must have been going for more then an hour. I wonder vaguely why Effie didn't say anything but I guess they were used to the tributes needing time to themselves. What I want to ask myself is how did I spend so long in the shower and picking out clothes that it had time to turn into night?

I watch, perplexed as suddenly Avoxes start bringing food out. Peeta and I have been taught about Avoxes because they are people who have broken a severe law and their punishment is to serve the Capital for the rest of their lives. I know that their tongues are cut out so that they can't repeat what they've heard to others.

I stare at the food they bring out, because if I look at them I'm not sure which way my thoughts will turn, pity or anger? I've always disdained the Capital but now my anger flared at the treatment that all of the Districts get. I mean we are humans to, aren't we? So we should get all the freedom that they do. I stop my thoughts and focus on the funny food in front of me so that I don't have to worry about that again I don't want to blow up in a rant when this entire train is probably bugged with cameras and microphones, just as every place will be from now on.

I eat everything I can get my hands on because suddenly I'm hungry and apparently Peeta is feeling the same way because we are both eating everything. Effie keeps telling us to save room because there is more to come but I'm taking comfort in the delicious food instead of listening to her. When they come out with desert I'm to full to move because I've eaten the same amount that I would eat in a month in an hour.

Still I pick up my fork to taste the delicious looking cake.

"Where's Haymitch?" Effie asks and I glance to the empty seat by Peeta but I know already where he is, where ever the liquor is.

"Last time I saw him, he said he was going to take a nap," says Peeta but my snort brings both of their attention to me and I shift uncomfortably.

"Haymitch is probably where ever the liquor is." I told them. "Not napping." They look at each other but Peeta has that amused look in his eye that he gets every time that I mention Haymitch around him. See Peeta thinks that my drunk crush is a source of amusement. Peeta knows about my feelings, not by way of my mouth but apparently if you talk about someone often then you have a crush on them. No matter how I deny it Peeta doesn't listen.

"Well, it's been an exhausting day," says Effie Trinket. I know that she's probably relieved that Haymitch isn't here. After all he did puke when she tried to speak to us. I continue to slowly eat the pudding on my plate and I ignore it when Effie starts talking about how the rest of the tributes ate like animals. I know they probably did because they were probably starving and from the seam.

Once Peeta and I are done I'm barely keeping the food down. I've never eaten so much before and I'm a little green, and I can see Peeta is to. But I'm determined to hold down this food because I need it.

Effie leads the still nervous Peeta and I to another compartment so that we can watch the recap of the reapings. They try to keep them where everyone can watch them live throughout the day but the only people who can do that is the Capital since they don't have to actually attend a reaping there.

One by one we see the other reapings, the names called, the volunteers stepping forward or, more often, not. We watch our competition on the screen and memorize their faces. A few of them manage to stand out like the boy who lunges forward to volunteer from District 2 or a fox-faced girl with sleek red hair from District 5. There was a boy with a crippled foot from District 10 and most hauntingly, a twelve year old girl from District 11. She reminds me so much of Prim though only by her size and demeanor. How scared she looks up there but there's no Katfir there to volunteer for her when they ask for them.

Last of all they show District 12. They show Haymitch puking, and Effie's face scrunches up at this. Then they show Effie calling Katniss' name and the peacekeepers wheeling her frail body through the lines. They show me running through the eighteen year old group and screaming out to volunteer. They show Haymitch's reaction and I can practically see the shock coming off of him. Then they show him sending the chair crashing against the wall in rage. They show me going up the stairs with my eyes latched on to Haymitch's. Next is me saying my name.

And then they show Peeta's name being called and my own reaction to it. I see the tears in my eyes and the cry leaves my lips. The announcers begin to speculate about everything, the reactions from Haymitch and me; they discuss the audiences refusal to clap. They say that we always were quite peculiar in our ways and as they say this they show Haymitch puking over the side of his chair. I can feel myself wince at that. Then the T.V. goes black.

Peeta and I turn to Effie as she starts speaking. "Your mentor has a lot to learn about presentation. A lot about televised behavior." She huffs and I feel a fire burn inside me at her ignorance.

"Haymitch drinks." I say instead because I still don't want to offend her. So I treat this as amusing when really I want to shout at her about how not everyone is from the Capital.

"He's drunk every year." Peeta says, also thinking it amusement.

"Every day." I correct and Peeta and I share a quite giggle or chuckle in his case. Effie doesn't feel so amused because she's glaring at us. I guess she doesn't appreciate that we don't also think he needs help.

"Yes," Effie Trinket hisses. "How odd you two find it amusing. You know your mentor is your lifeline to the world in these Games. The one who advises you, lines up your sponsors, and dictates the presentation of any gifts. Haymitch can well be the difference between your life and your death!" I straightened, prepared to fight against her for Haymitch but right then Haymitch stumbled through the door with a bottle of White Horse vodka in his left hand. He was hanging with the red hand on the bar.

"I miss supper?" He asks what I think is supposed to me but before I can answer he drops the bottle and vomits all over the expensive floor before falling into the mess with a groan. I hopped to my feet so that I can pull him out of the pool of vomit that I'm so used to seeing with him.

"So, laugh away." Effie tells us and she tip-toes around where I'm hauling Haymitch to his feet so that she can leave the room in a tizzy.

**I'm so happy that I finished this. I got so excited because so many people liked this story and reviewed. I haven't gotten such a good response before so I hope that you guys loved this chapter as much as you did the last one. **

**However there is something you need to know if you guys haven't read my other stories then you need to know that this girl Katfir is Destiny and she is Destiny so she can jump between realms, like The Dark knight, A-Team basically any where I want her to go. Now I'm not planning on making this a big feature in this particular story. What I'm thinking about implementing is this thing she can do which is called fading.**

**Fading is a vision, where she looses concisous and her mind and soul goes somewhere else. The place can be at any point in time as well. I originally used fading in my Pirates of the Caribbean film. **

**Now for the question of the update!**

**What would you do if you were picked as Tribute for District 12? **


	3. I'm here, nothing can harm you

I pull Haymitch to his feet and I'm so used to his weight that it barely registers. Then Peeta is there also helping me to hold Haymitch up. I don't mind the help as we start moving him to his room. Haymitch is still conscious though and he tries his best to walk on his own but it's no use. He's to hammered to even realize that he was hammered.

"I tripped?" Haymitch asks blearily and I can see his eyes are blood-shot. He tries to wipe his nose but all that accomplishes is smearing the vomit there even more. I sighed when we reached the door to Haymitch's own quarters. "Smells bad."

"I've got it from here Peeta." I muttered, fumbling for the door knob which is some kind of latch that is normal for the Capital. Peeta's hesitant but I can tell that he doesn't have any experience handling drunks. It's obvious because he is hesitant about moving Haymi8tch without his permission. I got the door open and I haled him into the room not caring that his foot was slammed on the doorway. He wouldn't remember tomorrow and he won't care right now.

"Are you sure?" Peeta asks and I can see that his nose is scrunched up and for once he is judgmental and I know that he doesn't like Haymitch. I know the drinking, and its side-effects often chase people away from Haymitch and in moments when I think about Haymitch I know that's exactly what he wants to do.

"Yeah, he won't remember any of this in the morning anyways." I tell him and since I can't exactly put him on the bed, I move Haymitch to the bathroom and into the shower. I don't bother with taking his clothes off; I just turn the shower on his favorite sobering settings and let it go. Haymitch is so drunk that he looks at the water as if it's a miracle happening. I roll my eyes to the metal ceiling of the train because it's just so Haymitch to be this way.

"I'll send some Capital people to help." Peeta decides reluctantly. I know that just like me he can't stand the Capital people but he also doesn't want me to have to take care of Haymitch all the time. He's made this clear before.

"**You're always going to take care of him!" Young Peeta's voice called out. I'm walking away from the Bakery clutching the to big game bag on my shoulder. I'm thirteen now and so is Peeta, my best friend. **

"**I have to!" I say but I don't turn back because I had made the mistake of going to see Peeta before I took care of Haymitch so now I was later than usual. I don't want to see Peeta's face because I know he feels like I put Haymitch over him.**

"**You never come to play anymore! You're always taking care of Haymitch, or you sisters or your Mom!" Peeta screams and I know that everyone in the square is turning to stare at the screaming children. My anger, which has been worse and worse flares and I turn to Peeta then and scream something that I'll regret for the rest of my life.**

"**Just because your family has enough to eat and a warm bed doesn't mean mine does! I'm going to take care of my family whether you care or not!" I screamed and turned away from his shocked face.**

We'd apologized to each other eventually but we've avoided our social status differences ever since. But now I see it coming out again. Peeta believes that I shouldn't have to take care of Haymitch but I don't care. I want to take care of Haymitch.

"No, I'm fine." I tell him instead of getting angry because I'm a woman and I can't get angry so easily any more. Peeta doesn't mention the memory either though I'm sure he knows that I thought about it. Instead he turns with a nod and walks away to I guess his own rooms.

I wait until I hear the door close before I get down on my knees beside the bathing tub. Haymitch is struggling to rise from the water so I push him back down and instead start undressing him for the second time that day. Except this time I leave he in his boxers so that I can was him. He's to drunk to realize what's really going on and instead he's talking nonsense about everything. I don't mind too much because I'm happy just taking care of Haymitch, though I could do without having to see him in such a destroyed state.

When I'm done washing the vomit away and cleaning his hair, which he had not bothered to do this morning, I take him from the tub. I place both his hands on the electric dryer and that actually seems to sober him up a bit because now he's blinking in the artificial lights that are coming some where from the ceiling. I was more gentle now, when I moved him to the bed, because I know that if he's sobering then he'll feel any pain.

I grimaced when I stumbled for just a moment and it sent both Haymitch and I crumbling. I was unable to catch myself and my back connected with the floor but Haymitch, by some miracle, caught himself with one of his arms. This meant that all of his weight wasn't on me, which I'm thankful for because he really is to big to be landing on my small frame.

"What?" Haymitch says and I can see the influence of the alcohol leaving him faster now at the fast movements. He blinks again and I can see, because we are just so close, the light from the bathroom catching his hair and making it give an effect as if glowing from the water. But he's looking at me and I can't think about how handsome he looks because I've got to make sure he doesn't know anything about those thoughts I have.

"Haymitch?" I say instead and I raise my eyebrow, like I'm not thinking about the heat radiating from him or the smell of the forest that comes from the scent setting he likes on the showers. He moves then, shifting his feet as the feeling of awareness comes to him.

"What happened?" He asks me dumbly. I grimace and push lightly on his chest, to hint for him to get up. He didn't take the hint so I'm guessing that I was being a little ambitious to think that he was sobering up enough to pay attention.

"I tripped and you being leant against my arm caused you to fall." I told him and he still didn't seem to get that he was all over me. I pushed again and he frowned at me but he finally understood and pushed himself off of me and instead started stumbling to get up. I sighed and lifted my own self up to help him to the bed.

When he was finally lying with his head on the pillows I let out the breath I had been holding. I was tired and I really don't need to give an explanation to why because after all I've been through today I don't feel like I owe anyone anything. So I tugged the blankets out from under him only so that I can place them over him. Haymitch laid still and let me do what I needed to before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry." He told me and I blinked before taking it in stride.

"It's all right." I soothed him because I don't know what he's apologizing for. I just make sure to tuck him in before I move away and turn off the lights. We are surrounded by darkness and I fumble my way to the door, going to leave when Haymitch's voice stops me.

"Katfir…" He breaths out and I'm turning back to him before I can think about it. He's sitting up in bed, one foot on the ground and he's supporting himself on his hands. "I'm sorry." He whispers to me again and his expression is desperate. There's nothing I can really do but smile.

"There's nothing to apologize for." I tell him this time before I move back to push him under the blankets. Sometimes I really want to tell Haymitch and this moment, when he's lost and wouldn't remember it in the morning is another one of those times. I force myself not to though. Instead I start singing to him.

"_Night-time sharpens, heightens each sensation…_

_Darkness stirs and wakes imagination…_

_Silently the senses abandon their defenses…_

_Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendor…_

_Grasp it, sense it- tremulous and tender.._

_Turn your face away from the garish light of day, _

_Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light_

_And listen to the music of the night…"_

I continued to sing gently until the worry on his face disappeared and he fell into sleep. I stayed for a few moments, just sitting there at his bed side because Haymitch's face, so peaceful, and calm at that moment, was so attractive. Without much thought I moved down and I placed a careful and loving kiss on his stubbly cheek. Haymitch didn't move, even when I got up from the side of his bed. I hoped that it was a sign that for once he would be getting a good nights rest but I can only hope.

I left his rooms not long after singing him to sleep so that I could fall into bed myself. The bed was very comfortable, the one in my room. The covers felt like water they were so silky and light. The pillow was so cool and it cupped around my head like it was made exactly for me.

All of these factors were amazing but no matter which way I laid, I couldn't find sleep. I knew that I had to realize a lot of things, and let go of others. I had to let go of my family because if I held on to them, I'd be distracted by thinking of what was best for them. I knew that the best thing I could do for them is to live through this. It's this thought that brings me around to another something that I didn't want to realize.

Peeta, my best friend since I was five, was now my enemy. I couldn't let his kind and familiar ways let me die. I had to think that I could possible soon have his blood on my hands, and it was something that I didn't want to realize because Peeta dead would be just as bad as having Haymitch's death on my hands. I'll probably end up just like Momma and Katniss did when Daddy died. I couldn't take any people dying by my hands. Animals were different, I couldn't tell their emotions, I hadn't known them for years and I for sure couldn't be attracted to them.

"**My son talks about you." **

"**He loves you, so please, if-if it's you in the arena, Please, please make it quick." **

What was I supposed to do with that? I didn't love Peeta, no more than my best friend. I don't think he's ever said anything, or done anything that would show me that he loves me. He's never told me, never done anything that a best friend wouldn't do with a best friend. I have to continue to ignore his fathers confession, because Peeta can't love me, not where we are going, not in the Capital, and not in the arena, not if we want to stay alive.

I just hope for our sakes that we never have to meet in the arena because I don't want my blood on Peeta's hands, just like I don't want his on mine. I didn't want to think about how after this I'll never be able to talk to the kind sweet boy who was always there for me, who told me that no matter what, we'll always take care of each other. But I have to.

"**HAHA! Katniss and Katfir! How stupid!" The bully yelled, pointing at my sister and I. I pull my sister behind me and puff my chest out. Daddy tells me that I have to be the strong one of us, that I can't let anyone pick on Katniss. He says that when Mommy's tummy finally pops that I'm going to have to help him take care of that baby to but that just confuses me. Why would Mommy's belly pop?**

"**Our names aren't stupid!" I shriek and my voice comes out shaky, not as steady as I meant it because now the big boy, who is at least four years older then me, is getting angry that I'm not cowering in his footsteps. The bully's father was a prominent person, the secretary to the mayor but I don't care if we were from two different Districts! He doesn't get to make fun of my sister and me.**

"**They are to! My father says so!" He shouts back and I can't control my anger, even when I'm five.**

"**Well your father's as stupid as…as the backside of a monkey!" I shout only because I remember earlier when we were learning about the monkey's that inhabit District 4. The bully seems to know what I'm talking about and his face gets really red. I panic and I can hear my little sisters crying, she's twenty minutes younger then me, so Dad says I got to protect her to. **

"**Take it back!" He screams at me and I'm scared because there was no one but other kids there to mock him into hitting me. That happens to be the first thing he does, is hit me on the cheek. I go down fast because my tiny body is nothing compared to his well fed stature. I scream really loud and that makes the baker come out of his house because he knows my voice from the times Daddy took me around. **

"**What's going on here?" The baker asks in a loud voice and without any further questions all the kids are scrambling to get away. The baker can't do anything, because there is so many of us. I look for my sister, but she's not there but I see her braid disappear towards were we left Daddy shopping at the Hob.**

**The baker moves forward and my young eyes can tell that his wife is out shopping because the baker is nice when she's gone. I smile at him when he bends down but he's got a worried face so my smiled falters. "Are you alright little miss?" He asks me and I nod, even though my face stings really badly. "Well let's just get you inside and wait for your father there." He lifts me up.**

**I remember being sat down on a table covered with flour and then the baker left because he wanted to go get my father himself. And that's when I saw him. He was standing half hidden behind the door way but his eyes were peeking out at me. He held a blanket in one hand, and a hand was in his bright blonde hair. Even though my face throbbed I remember Daddy said to smile when you meet new people so I smiled at him.**

"**Hi, I'm Katfir." I said, hopping down from the table. The little boy was a bit taller then me but I didn't mind to much. He came out from behind the door now that I knew he was there and I could see that he had a small button up T-shirt and a pair of trousers on.**

"**I'm Peeta." He said and his voice was small and it put stars in my eyes. I was always one for the cute things. That's why Daddy always laughed when I cried for the dead animals he killed. "I saw what they did to you." He told me, taking a step back but I smiled at him.**

"**It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you." I told him and he looked around, ready to bolt if anything came his way. Instead though he took a step towards me and tugged on his hair nervously.**

"**I won't hurt you either." He said and he pulled his hand from his hair. "I'll never hurt you, if you'll be my friend." I blinked, because that sentence was odd but I smiled none the less. **

"**Of course I'll be your friend, Peeta, as long as you promise that neither of us will ever get hurt!"**

"**Okay."**

I don't want to remember that memory but I know that I've got to let it go, let it all go. I've got to be aware, and thinking about making me better because I can't leave Haymitch behind to fall back into a liquor soaked depression.

I don't know if that was the trigger, or it was finally hitting me full force but my eyes started watering and then I was sobbing. It was the worst I've cried in years, since my father's death because I facing one of my worst fears, death.

I never really thought that I would pass away because I didn't want to think about leaving my family. Even though I was in constant danger from breaking the law, hunting and going out of the barrier of the fence, my mind has never wanted to think about it. But now here I am about to face death in front of millions of people for the amusement of the Capital just like I've seen so many people do before me. Breaking down now, it was the one thing that I'd allow myself because no matter how I looked at it death was almost certain.

I would never win because there were people who lived to fight in the games, and they almost always won. It was a miracle of wits, and luck that Haymitch won his year. He'd used the force field of the arena to take down the last person in the arena, because he'd had his own guts spilling out by then. It didn't matter if I got out of the arena or not because the pain would be with me long after that. I'd never be free again, I'd never even get to look out at my family and be happy because I'll always be haunted with thoughts of the games. I know because that's how Haymitch is now after his time in the games.

I didn't know what I could do to feel better. The best I could do is hope and practice. Yes, training would have to be a need. I may be able to kill animals with an axe and with a blade. I may even be good with bow and arrows but there is no way that I'm ever going to be able to live in the wilderness. I could last a long time in the wild because I have survival skills, like cooking over an open fire, and recognizing eatable plants but there was no way that I could last with people chasing me.

The gamekeepers may even put us in a place where I couldn't do anything, like a rock terrain. They probably won't, not since that year that everyone froze to death, slowly and without much enjoyment for the Capital people. So most likely they'll give us wood, I only hope that it's a forest because that way I'll thrive.

If I'm really lucky I can show them how good I am with an ax and they'll let me have one in the arena…then I'll…

**HxK**

**I'm so happy. I could rip my own heart out because I'm so happy. You guys really came through and I've been getting review after review for this story. It's the best I've wrote so far and I want to get better and better for you guys! It also makes me nervous because I don't want you guys to hate the story if I do something that you don't like. However I can't tell you what happens next so you'll have to live with the mystery!**

**Question of the Update:**

**IF faced with the choice who would you rather Katfir chose? Peeta or Haymitch? HINT**

**P.S. Don't forget about the poll I have on my profile because I'm going to start working on a new story soon and I need to know what you guys want!**


	4. My words will warm and calm you

I didn't expect to fall asleep. Thankfully I woke up early enough in the morning. The first thing I did was nearly jump out of my skin because the whole reason I woke up was Effie's voice outside my door.

"Up, up, up! It's going to be a big, big, big day!" I try and imagine, for a moment, what it must be like inside that woman's head. I have no idea but I can't help but wonder if it's torturing me. I know it's not what she's thinking because if I win the games she'll get promoted to a better job, maybe work with a better district at next years hunger games. That's probably what really goes through her mind now that I think about it.

I rose from my bed and at once I didn't feel good. My back was killing me, probably from straining to pick up that stupid drunk. All right, I wasn't mad at him but that didn't mean my back didn't hurt and that my eyes weren't dropping. What I needed was a shower and that's what I got.

After I finally moved myself out of the shower I had planned to put on the clothes from last night but I realized that they weren't exactly smelling nice, or looking that nice. Since I knew that I was going to be seen by the Capital people for the first time I decided against putting the clothes back on and instead I picked a purple shirt with green lace crossing it like netting. It was the best I could find, that and some black pants and heels. It took me a few minutes to get used to walking in heels but they were almost like the boots I wore to hunt in.

The only thing that I kept from home, District 12, was the mockingjay pin which I attached to the top part of the black pants I was wearing now. With my attire fixed I managed to get out of my room with out panicking. Okay, I was nervous about meeting the Capital people because I didn't know what to do so that they liked me. I'm sure that Peeta knew, because Peeta knew how to work someone for something. He didn't do it to me often because I got really upset the first time it happened.

I was walking through the one sided hallway very slowly because I was trying to gather up something that would help me but I was drawing a blank. The only person I'd met from the Capital is Effie Trinket and all I knew about her is that she likes to be on time, and where funky clothing. Well, I've got the funky clothing down, now I just needed to be more punctual.

I'm surprised that while I was walking I noticed a cart which had knifes on it, not for protection but for really just cutting into meat when you go to eat it. Just because it would make me feel better about walking into the Capital I take one of the knifes, not thinking much of it.

What was the first thing we had to do? I tried hard to remember. Oh, the opening ceremonies where we were showed off to the rest of the world. That starts tonight. The stylists would use the rest of the day between when we arrived and then to prepare us, and make us as beautiful as possible. Clearly it was for them to erase all the scars of play up on them so that it showed that we weren't treated like the shit that we were.

I shook my head just as I reached the dining car but I moved out of the way for Effie Trinket who was scowling over a cup of black coffee. I can tell that something has happened to her by the way that she is now muttering clear obscenities under her breath. I wonder for a moment if I should go after her and find out what happened but I see who had at one point been her dinner companions.

Peeta is sitting there with an embarrassed face, but I see an underlying hint of anger in the placement of his jaw as he looks at Haymitch who is sitting in front of him. Haymitch himself has a poofy face that he always has when he's got a hangover but he is chuckling even though I can tell that for some reason he isn't happy either.

I don't know if this scene should make me take Effie's example and scram but I just suck it up and walk farther into the room. I'm hesitant but my approach has grabbed Haymitch's attention. "Sit down, Sit down!" He urges, despite the fact that I he probably knows that I know that he isn't in the best of moods right now. He's trying anyways and I don't know why he's even trying to act like he's happy but maybe he is who knows. I sure as hell was not ready to deal with his mood changes.

The moment I slide into the chair that has my name written on it in a gold metal a large platter of food is sat down in front of me with a large thump. Eggs, ham, piles of fried potatoes. A tureen of fruit sits I ice t keep it chilled. The basket of rolls they set before me would keep my family going for a week. There's an elegant glass of orange juice. At least, I think its orange juice, because I've only tasted it once, at New Years. Haymitch had taken me out that day, complaining that I didn't 'enjoy' life enough. I think that really he didn't want to spend the day alone again. They sit down a cup of coffee as well, something my Mom loved back when we could afford it. A rich brown something is placed in front of me and for a moment I'm lost in a memory of different people, being a different person, and having different views on people.

But then Peeta is talking and I come back to this reality. "They call it hot chocolate," He tells me. "It's good."

I take a sip of the hot, sweet, creamy liquid and a shudder runs down my spine because it reminds me so much of things I want to forget because they won't do me any good here in the world of Panem.

Even though the rest of my meal calls to me, asking me to eat it, I wait until I've drained the sweet drink from the mug it's in. It's delicious and I relish it until the last drop is gone, which seems to amuse Haymitch to no end because he's making comments about having to eat my food for me. Once I've absorbed the rich, dark drink, and smacked Haymitch upside the head to get him to shut up I start in on the food.

I'm weary about the thicker things because I know that if I'm not careful I'll over do it and have a stomach ache. That had happened only once, when I'd first gotten to eat with Haymitch.

Again, I have to crawl away from a memory because I guess all of this has made me sentimental. I know though that longing for the days that I couldn't go back to is not what I need right now. Instead I look at the other two people at the table. Peeta is still eating, dunking bits of the good, nicely buttered, rolls into the hot chocolate. Haymitch however is knocking back a red liquid, that wasn't as sweet as the hot chocolate that he's thinning with spirits that he has in an alcohol tin from the pocket of the blue robe he's now dressed in.

For once I actually detest Haymitch or more his inability to stop drinking more than I hate the man himself. I know with what he's been through I really shouldn't hate him for trying to fight off the nightmares with alcohol. After all, aren't I about to go through the same thing if not a little worse? But I know it's been years since he's been in the arena and I'm tired of seeing him drown himself in alcohol instead of being a man and facing his memories.

Right then, I make a vow to myself. If I get through the hunger games I was going to face my memories and make myself come to terms with every bad thing that happens, not drown myself in that foul smelling liquor like Haymitch.

"So, before you're completely smashed." I deadpan and my unusual tone of voice has both Haymitch and Peeta looking my way. I'm not quick to anger, or when I am it's never at some one I know well. "You got any advice, since that's your job."

"Here's some advice. Stay Alive." Haymitch tells us, not making eye-contact with me but I'm angry anyways. I share a glance with Peeta and I can see the hardness there in his eyes because Haymitch is laughing now. It's just so…frustrating. I think, after only a second of real contemplation that Haymitch has already decided that I can't do it.

"That's very funny," Peeta says, his voice dripping in sarcasm. Before I can even think about doing something, Peeta lashes out at the glass in Haymitch's hand. It ends up shattering on the expensive carpet that looks to just have been scrubbed from Haymitch's vomit last night. The blood red liquid has defiantly ruined the floor but I'm more interested in the heat behind the glare they are both participating in. "Only not to us."

I don't know what caused all of this hate. Yeah what he said made me pissed and wanting to punch Haymitch as well, but Peeta has never, _never_, been quick to anger. It makes me wonder if I missed something obvious, and I felt like I should know what but I can't think of what it could have been.

Haymitch seems to not have even heard what he says because they are now both standing up and glaring as if the table wasn't there to stop them. I want to get up to, so that I can stop them from getting worse with each other but then Haymitch lays one hand on table to brace him as he balls up his fist and punches Peeta in the face with no regret. I want to gasp in surprise but Haymitch is reaching with the same hand back to get the spirits so I surprise us all when I slam the knife, I hadn't even remembered it, down between his fingers with the skill that I'd gathered through the years of taking care of my family and I.

Haymitch knows I hunt with blades and axes but I've never mentioned my ability to use a knife. Technically a knife is a blade but I didn't count it because it was built with different angles, for different purposes. He sits back down now and his eyes are on me intensely and I'm wondering again what I'm missing because he's looking between me and Peeta but then the moment is gone and I'm still clueless.

"Well, it looks like I got fighters this year." Haymitch is amused but it's a different kind of amusement, this time it's a calculated amusement. I help Peeta up and I move to get him some ice for the bruise that would surely come. With the amount of force that Haymitch has, that bruise could have easily been a broken face and it is this that makes me stop, not Haymitch's comment to let the bruise show. Why would Haymitch not put all of his force behind that punch unless it was for a reason.

Haymitch had been testing us. For a moment I'm even angrier but then I let that go. He had his reasons, and I suspect that he might have just done it to anger me, who knows. I'm so confused by this that I obey Haymitch and drop the ice back down and manage to drop myself back into my chair.

"-The audience will think you've mixed it up with another tribute before you've even made it to the arena." Haymitch is saying and I listen closer. Did that mean that the other tributes are also using this same train? It could be true since the Capital wanted to be able to see all of the reapings live.

I didn't think to ask because right now we were actually getting advice, and I needed to pay attention, no matter how mad I was at Haymitch. "That's against the rules," Peeta says. I just settle back in my seat.

"Only if they catch you. That bruise will say you fought, you weren't caught, even better," Haymitch schemes. I know he's a good schemer. He's always shown it, sometimes in small things like getting what he wants, or in big things, like getting me away from that peacekeeper before I got whipped to death so long ago. If I remember correctly, and I know that I do, Haymitch also won his games, not by his strength, but by his wits.

That's how I'll have to play it. That's a hard realization. I'm strong, you have to be to hold up an axe much less throw it at animals fast enough to kill them, but I'm not going to be able to use that strength as much to my advantage. Its common knowledge that in certain districts some people are trained just so they can volunteer as tribute and come home as a victor. We, meaning the other districts, call them Career tributes and their favorite thing to train them in is physical strength. So my wits will have to help me. I may be strong but I'm not big enough to over power a career tribute.

"Can you hit anything with that knife besides the table?" Haymitch asks me and I'm glad that I caught the question because with the way Haymitch is looking at me, weary as if I'm going to explode on him, I wouldn't have had the patience to ask him to repeat it. I'm already feeling bad at snapping at Haymitch. I was right to think that it was time for him to give up alcohol but that didn't mean I had to take out my anger and frustration at the situation on him.

The axe and the blade, those two weapons were my passion. But I've always been good with a knife or a small blade, a dagger I think that's what Dad used to call them. I actually use them a lot because using a large two-sided axe, the one I use most, would ruin small animals so I use knifes and daggers to kill them to.

To show him that I am good, and just because I'm still a little mad at him on the inside, I wrench the large knife from the polished wood of the table. I can even imagine Effie yelling at us for dirtying up the room. I get a grip on the blade and throw it directly in the middle of an orange, which was once resting on the top of a group of similar fruits. Now the poor thing was squished to the wall of the train, and its juice was creeping down the wall.

Haymitch had turned to watch the blade with surprised respect and Peeta was just completely shocked. Peeta had never gotten me as mad as Haymitch, so he had no idea how I could throw things because when I _do _get mad I throw things. It's just so I can get my anger out and since Haymitch has seen me angry before he somewhat knows. He just thinks that it's limited to axes and empty liquor bottles.

"Stand over here both of you." Haymitch orders while pointing to an open enough spot. I do it without question, because isn't that what we want? To be mentored? It takes Peeta a moment because he still seems to not want to listen to Haymitch even though Peeta was the one who insisted that Haymitch help us. Haymitch starts circling us, once. Twice, three times. He pokes at our muscles and I have to withhold a blush when his finger lingers on the tight skin and bands of muscle on my abdomen.

"Well, you aren't entirely hopeless." Haymitch says and I sniff because that just makes me feel bad. I know that Haymitch is only saying it to make me even angrier. He's looking right at me and his eyes are practically dancing in amusement so it's a dead give away that he is only mocking me. I force myself to fight the urge to stick out my tongue because now really isn't the time for that.

"All right, I'll make a deal with you. You don't interfere with my drinking and I'll stay sober until after the games." Haymitch decides. I can feel my eyebrows going to the top of my head because this is a surprise. Haymitch rarely ever gives up alcohol for more then an hour and that's only when I'm around. Sometimes not even then. True, I didn't blame him for it until now but it's still a shock that he's done it this way. I should just learn to be happy with him helping me instead of just deciding to give up on me like I thought he was going to do. "But you have to do exactly what I say."

It's not much of a deal but it's a deal that could save our life so I'm ready to agree but it's not me who agrees first, it's Peeta. "Fine." I go to answer to but Haymitch just continues talking, confusing me.

"In a few minutes, we'll be pulling into the station. You'll be put in the hands of your stylists. You're not going to like what they do to you. But no matter what it is, don't resist." Haymitch says, and I sigh. I really wasn't looking forward to being 'styled'. I don't want to have to wear the outrageous things that I know I'll be dressed up in. I just want my plain black hunting gear with my Dad's brown, old jacket.

"But-" Peeta starts to argue but Haymitch is quick to crack down on his resistance.

"No buts. Don't resist," Haymitch says and storms away, holding onto a new bottle of spirits and I roll my eyes. I'm ready to go after him, because I'm not done with his sorry ass but Peeta stops me with a hand on my shoulder.

"You don't have to…go after him. Why don't we wait here and talk out a strategy?" Peeta's hopeful but when my eyes connect with his I can see a desperateness that confuses me. Just what went down while I was dressing this morning? I can't think of it so instead I shake my arm lose from the grip he had there.

"I want answers, and if I don't do something he's going to drink himself into oblivion today despite what promise he made with you." I tell Peeta as I'm moving out of the car. I don't mean to be rude, with not staying but I just didn't want to be in the same car as him after what his father told me. I didn't want to think about it, I mean _really _didn't want to think about it. Now, when Peeta looks at me it seems more obvious than before. I can't give him that love in return, and I don't want to lead him to think I can now or in the future.

So instead of staying with my best friend, I'm moving along the cars until I'm at Haymitch's car. True, I was here last night but that doesn't mean that I paid any attention. Last night I'd been more focused on dropping Haymitch in bed and then going to my own room.

Now as I stepped in I could see that it was nothing special. It had all the same things as mine though I suspected that the clothes in there had to be for a male. Haymitch is there but he's staring out a window and the bottle of alcohol that I'd come to take away from him was lying untouched on the bed. I frown and move farther into the room, and the door closed automatically behind me. Haymitch barely even acknowledged that I came in and it has me frowning more because I don't like this brooding Haymitch any more than I do the callous one I'd seen in that car with Peeta.

"So, do you want to tell me anything…new?" I asked, staring at Haymitch. I'm uncomfortable standing by the door so I force myself to casually flop down on the bed, pushing the alcohol down on the floor on the opposite side of the bed. Haymitch turns to me now and I pause as I see the determination in his eyes. It's rare that he ever has a sober face, so I'm shocked.

Most of the time people couldn't even tell when Haymitch is drunk unless it's late in the day and he's ingested enough to kill any coalminer. So the few small drinks he may have actually gotten into himself before I woke up were not nearly enough to affect him. The sips had probably only been enough to let him get over a hangover this morning.

"Your little friend defiantly loves you." Haymitch tells me and he's just standing there but now there is a cup of white substance that can only be milk. He takes a sip and I have to smile at his reaction to his first drink without alcohol in it. But I sober up myself because I know that he's right. It was so clear in the way Peeta is. I don't know how I'd never seen it before because he made it so clear by how he didn't want me to go see Haymitch.

"I know." I say because there is nothing else I can say to him. I don't love Peeta like that, I know I don't. I know that Peeta is attractive to people but I don't see him that way because I actually know him. Haymitch though seems to think this is significant or he wouldn't have brought something like this up at least not after his own reaction to Peeta's father's confession. "What about it?" I ask him instead.

"He seems to think that my drinking has, and I quote, 'ruined her life. She can't even spend time to herself.'" Haymitch is quick to answer and his face is annoyed, his voice high-pitched in a mocking way. It doesn't sound anything like Peeta to say something like that and if it had been anyone else Haymitch had been making fun of I might have laughed but I'm not, simply because it's not funny.

"He's-" I attempt to disagree but Haymitch snorts.

"He's right, and I know it." Haymitch throws out harshly. I can see his fists tightening and his pants, which he has on under the dark blue robe, move as he starts toward the bed. I tense, but he doesn't seem too angry. He stops right in front of me so I stand so my neck doesn't have to bend back to meet his gaze.

"Haymitch-" I try again but he's determined to get out whatever it is that he's trying to say. I'm guessing that the remark that Peeta told Haymitch wasn't the only thing that Peeta accused Haymitch of doing because Haymitch would have just brushed it off.

"Do you think that I don't know that I'm ruining your life?" Haymitch asks me but it must be rhetorical because he continues to speak. "I know that you could be out getting more food for your families but I can't help it." Haymitch's angry face falters and my breath hitches when his face softens and he moves his hand as if to touch me but resists for some reason that I can't fathom.

"Haymitch, you know I wouldn't have taken on the job if I didn't want to do it." I try and talk but he's resilient and I only get that one sentence in before he's speaking again.

"I only asked you because I don't want to be alone." He reveals. "That was the only reason I got you away when we first met. I was so stuck up my own ass that I didn't even care that a little twelve year old, starved girl would be whipped to death. I was just so tired of sitting in that house provided by the Capital for _killing_." I'm stunned because rarely does Haymitch ever give up any personal emotions unless he's being sarcastic. I realize that we might get to know each other a lot more then before because now I'm fighting to come back alive and not in a body bag.

"But I don't blame you for that, Haymitch." I said and I didn't hesitate to put my hand on his chest, just above his heart. "You were hurting and so was I so we just gave something to each other." I smile, because I'm hoping that it'll make him feel better. It didn't help, at least I'm guessing because he's not happy.

"No, you would have just gone on hunting food for your family. If I hadn't got in the way you would have turned out fine. I don't know what would have happened to me if you didn't keep talking to me." Haymitch raised his hand this time and placed it on my hand that was lying on his chest right now. "I probably would have ended up insane." Haymitch sneered but I assumed that it wasn't at me.

"You're just exaggerating now Haymitch." I rolled my eyes because it was the only thing I could make my body do. The reaping was really stressing and it made my emotions out of control but I couldn't see this coming from Haymitch, this confession that he was doing.

"I think that these times call for desperate measures and that's what I am." Haymitch tells me. His hand tightens on my own and I jump when windows on the side of the train suddenly black out. Haymitch glances to but then he squeezes my hand to gain my attention.

"I'm going to get you through this, I promise." Haymitch whispers. "I want let you leave me because I'm a selfish, drunk bastard." He leads me to the windows right when they clear whatever was blacking them out and there, to my surprise are the Capital people, waiting for us.

"Starting now, I promise Katfir Everdeen that I will get you back to District 12 and back to your family." Haymitch promised me and I look from his blue eyes to the waiting people. They've caught sight of me so I weakly wave and to my surprise they go crazy and surround the stopped train just to wave back.

"Haymitch! Have you seen Katfir? It's time!" Effie Trinket's voice flooded through the door to us. I met eyes with Haymitch and I gulped.

_**KxHxKxHxKxHxK**_

_R-i-i-i-p. _

A woman named Venia was currently ripping pieces of fabric off of my legs, taking the hair there with it. I'd been led off the train and through the crowd only to be crowded into a building. I didn't get to talk to anyone else because we were split up. I was shown to my prep team which would help my stylist to get me dressed for every single outing I would do, including the ever important interview.

I had three members on my prep team. Venia, a woman with aqua hair and gold tattoos above her eyebrows. Octavia, a plump woman whose entire body had been dyed an ugly pea green. Flavius who has orange corkscrew locks and a fresh coat of purple lipstick on his mouth. Their wild looks were the current fashion of the Capital or so they'd jabbered on about. The colors on their skin contrasted greatly with my own tan, soft skin.

I try my best to grit my teeth as Venia rips another piece of fabric from my legs, taking another large patch of hair with it. "Sorry!" She pipes in her silly Capitol accent. "You're just so hairy!" I want to take offence to that but her accent throws me off.

Its so high pitched and I want to giggle at it. I don't have a lot to laugh at here, or in any situation that is bound to happen in the future but it doesn't mean I want to become a depressed person. No, I knew what that did to people. Still I don't giggle because that would be rude and plus the pain from my hair being ripped away wasn't funny at all.

"Good news though," She squeaks again, laying another of those fabrics on my left leg. "This is the last one, ready?" Venia asks and I get a good grip on the flat table I've been laying on before I nod. She rips it off and I refuse to scream as the last of my leg hair is uprooted in a last painful jerk of her arm.

I was told that the building I was in is called the Remake Center. I've been in here for at least five hours and I haven't even met my stylist. He told the stylists, who told me, that he doesn't want to see me until the other members of my prep team have gotten rid of some obviously unattractive features. To get rid of these problems my prep team has bathed me in water, to get rid of the dirt, a mucky pink solution, a purple solution, an orange solution, and a yellow liquid. They worked my nails into rounded perfect shapes and polished them to perfection.

My entire body, legs, arms, torso, underarms, parts of my eyebrows, and my unmentionables have been freed of any hair I had there. I felt naked on the table without the familiar hair on my body. The only place left that I had hair was on my head and my eyebrows. It was odd to be without it and I was sore and tingling from the ways of removal. I've kept quite though, and not said a word against what they were doing, just like Haymitch advised me to.

"You're doing very well," Flavius said, smiling cautiously down at me. "It there's one thing we can't stand its got to be a whiner! Grease her down!" I'm scared, what could they possibly grease me down with now? The other two of the team start rubbing me down with a lotion and at first it burns but then it sooths the aches and sore spots that were left over from all the alterations done on my body. To rub me down they take off the thin robe that's been covering me off and on through out the process. At first I had been nervous, and shy with being naked in front of the others but I got over it as soon as they'd started removing my hair.

I'm forced off of the table and instead stood in front of the three, completely nude in front of these strangers. They circle me, wielding a pair of tweezers each so they can remove whatever hair that has braved the treatments. I know I should still be embarrassed at being naked in front of strangers but these Capital people don't seem like people, with their weird hair and fashion senses.

After they've finished up they stand back to look at me and I smile, hesitant. "Excellent!" Flavius says. "You almost look like a human being." They all laugh and I just know that my face has turned scarlet but I know that I can't offend these people because I need them to make me look beautiful so that I can attract sponsors in the games.

"Thank you," I sweeten my voice, which I've rarely had occasion to do. "I've never had a chance to look beautiful in District 12." I admit. It's the truth and like I'd hoped the admission wins over the three.

"Of course you don't, you poor darling!" Octavia blubbers and clasps her hands together as if she was truly distressed that I didn't get to look pretty.

"But don't worry," Venia assures me. "By the time Cinna is through with you, you're going to be absolutely gorgeous!" She gushes.

"We promise! You know, now that we've gotten rid of all of the hair and filth, you're not horrible at all!" says Flavius and I go scarlet again because I'm still naked and he is a man. I like the compliment though so I smile at him in thanks. I don't get complimented like that by really anyone so it feels nice. Though, I know he's only saying that to make me feel better about myself. It was still a compliment so I'll take it. I have a feeling that I'm going to need all of the compliments that I can take. "Let's call Cinna!"

Cinna, is my stylist that I have yet to meet. The team dart out of the room to go get Cinna and I'm left standing in a cold, white room by myself. I have to force myself not to reach for the robe because my designer will just make me take it back off. Instead I let my hands travel to my hair which is down in a braid. After the team had spun some kind of mixture through it to make it silky and curly they'd allowed me to braid it back so that it would be out of the way. It was the one part of my body that the prep team had been told to really leave alone. I was grateful because I didn't want the bright orange hair that Octavia had in passing said would look good with my skin tone.

I stroke the silky strands of my hair gently. The black locks were something that I was extremely proud of. I've loved my hair ever since I was old enough to understand that it was called hair. I don't know why, maybe it was the color, maybe it was the texture, but I fell in love with my own hair.

I was startled out of my own musings when the door that the three Capital people had exited was opened. A young man, who couldn't be much older then me walked in. I was shocked because unlike the prep team, and every other Capital person I had seen so far, he actually seemed normal. Most of the stylists on screen that I'd seen were so dyed, stenciled, and surgically altered they were ugly, grotesque people.

But Cinna's close-cropped hair was a natural brown shade and he wore simple black clothes. The only thing that suggested he was from the Capital at all was the golden glittery eye make-up that he had applied with a light hand just at the ridge of his eye. I thought that all together it looked rather nice, especially compared to the fashions I'd been expecting Cinna to be wearing.

"Hello, Katfir. I'm Cinna, your stylist." He tells me this but I already know but I'm shocked again by the quiet, normal pitched voice. It was nothing like the Capital's accents but smoother, like I'd heard the District 10 tributes speak with.

"Hello," I greet him quietly. I'm cautious that he might turn into a disastrourus designer and put me in something I didn't like. I remember all the horrible mine themed costumes from years before and I want to run screaming back to the safety of District 12. I know that I'll just have to grit my teeth but I hope that I won't end up naked like the year before me where the designer sent them out with nothing but mining hats and black coal covering their bodies.

"Just give me a moment all right?" He asks and I nod because I really couldn't deny him could I? He walks around my naked body, surveying it and I'm embarrassed now because he seems much more normal then the others. He doesn't touch me, which I'm thankful for, but he takes every inch of me into his brain through his eyes and I'm unnerved by the observance he displays. I have to tighten my fists so that my arms won't rise to shield myself from his eyes.

Finally he stops circling me, rather quickly, to my immense thanks. "You have beautiful hair." He says, and I'm flushing again but this time in pleasure. I'm glad he likes it, because maybe he'll leave it like it is. "Who braided it?" He asks me.

"I did." I tug it over my shoulder. Cinna smiles and I tentatively smile back.

"It's beautiful. Classic really. And in almost perfect balance with your profile. You have talented fingers." I tighten my hands at his words. I can only hope that the talent in my fingers leads to something more helpful then braiding hair.

I hadn't expected someone so down to earth. I'd thought the stylist would be flamboyant or older and trying desperately to look young. Maybe I thought they'd look at me like a piece of meat to buy but Cinna has fulfilled none of these expectations.

"You're new, aren't you?" I guessed. "I don't think I've seen you before." I mutter to soften y voice because it was harsh to ask so bluntly. Most of the stylist are familiar, constants in a sea of new tributes.

"Yes, this is my first year in the Games." Cinna tells me.

"Why District 12?" I ask him without thinking. I don't want to offend him, but I'm curious. Cinna's mouth lifted in an amused smile.

"I asked for District 12." He answers but doesn't elaborate. "Why don't you go ahead and put that robe back on and we'll chat some more." He offers. I'm thankful for this because it was getting colder and colder in this room. I grabbed up the leaf thin cloth and drape the short thing around me. I followed him as he lead me through the door and into a sitting room. The room had two red couches facing off over a low table. Three of the walls were bare but the third wall was entirely made up of a window. I could see by the light that it must be around noon, although the sunny sky has become overcast.

Cinna gestures for me to take one of the couches, and then takes the other one for himself. He doesn't speak at first, instead he pushes a small button on the side of the clear table top. The top split into almost immediately and from below another tabletop rose but it holds our lunch.

Chicken and chunks of oranges cooked in a creamy sauce laid on a bed of pearly white grain, tiny green peas and onions, rolls shaped like flowers, and for dessert, a pudding the color of honey. At first I'm in awe at the display of foods that I would have killed to bring back to my family. That sobers me because I have to remind myself that I shouldn't think of my family so much here because it won't elp me get back to them. Instead I filter my emotions into hating the Capital.

I'd never have been able to get any of this about District 12 but I just can't think beyond the disgust. There was no way that both Cinna and I could manage to eat all of this food, so where did the rest go? Did they throw it all away when we at the districts could feed many families on just this amount of food on the table?

I look up from the food and I see that Cinna's eyes are trained on me and not the food. "How despicable we must seem to you." He comments and again I'm struck with how observant the man in front of me is. Have I shown it on my face? Or did he just guess that I was disgusted about this way of life?

"No matter," he sighed. "So, Katfir, about your costume for the opening ceremonies. My partner, Portia, is the stylist for your fellow tribute, Peeta. And our current thought is to dress you in complementary costumes." He explained to me. I was on edge at once. I didn't want to be put in some disgusting outfit for the enjoyment of the Capital but it was inevitable. "As you know, it's customary to reflect the flavor of the district." I winced.

_I'm going to be naked in front of millions of people. _

"I won't be naked will I?" I blurted. Cinna looked shocked for a moment before he laughed heartily. I couldn't help but giggle nervously with him because I'm already tired of the tension around me. I was so tired of being mad and angry at being a tribute and I have to worry that. Instead of feeling like that, these Capital people don't even think that putting up children to kill each other for the enjoyment of other people.

"No, no you aren't going to be naked." Cinna said when both of our laughter quited. "You see, Portia and I think that coal miner thing is very overdone. No one will remember you in that, because every body has done that in the past. And we both see it as our job to make the District 12 tributes unforgettable." I nodded, comforted that I wouldn't be naked and covered in black dust.

"So? Lay it on me, what am I going to be wearing?" I asked, motioning with my hand for him to tell me.

"Rather than focus on the coal mining itself, we're going to focus on the coal. And what do we do with coal? We burn it?" Cinna said. I blinked, and I couldn't quite take in what he was asking me to do.

"Excuse me?" I asked, again blunt.

"You're not afraid of fire, are you Katfir?"

**Sorry it took so long guys. I'm pushing it out as I go so yeah. I don't know what I'm doing really but I'm hoping it's good. I know Haymitch wasn't in the last few pages but I thought you guys would like that separate promise that Haymitch made to Katfir. I remember I got a review that gave me that idea, so thank you for that. I, also, just noticed the play on Katfir's name you know KatFIR it sounds like Cat Fire doesn't it. So Cat Fir and The girl who was on fire….I don't know if you catch it but I did. **

**Okay, question per update!**

**Who do you think is hotter, Robert Downey Jr, or Johnny Depp?**


	5. Let me be your freedom

A few hours later, after I finished talking to Cinna, I stood waiting for the opening ceremony. I was clad in a unitard of tight black fabric, with shining black gems that imitated the coal of back home. The sleeves passed my wrists and covered the back of my hand and a cape draped from my shoulders to the back of my feet. My neck was covered with an extension of the same things that made the gloves. The cape was colored with orange, reds, and the color of flames. I had a headpiece attached to my head, covered in my hair so when Cinna lit the headpiece on fire it would look like my hair was on fire.

Cinna and Portia planned to light the clothes on fire and we were going to ride in the night on a dark chariot. The chariots themselves were black and covered in real coal that would leave a dust trail as we road by. The horses had a dark coat and I was smitten with the fiery animals. I stood next to the animals with a hand on the females head. We only had a few horses in District 12 because we only used them to pull the coal buckets across the District to the trains. Peeta had just made his way here and he was also caught in amazement for the animals but he was unwilling to step to close to them.

"I can't believe that you can touch them." Peeta exclaimed again. I grinned at him because I couldn't believe that he would be scared of such a magnificent animal. The male stomped his foot and shook his head while the Capital people started to strap them down into the Chariots. It was almost time for the opening ceremony.

As the female was lead away from me and to the chariot I began to get nervous.

"Do you think they'll like us?" I whispered to Peeta. He shrugged in his own unitard. It was the same as mine right down to the boots.

"I really don't know. All I know is if I'm wearing this, they better." Peeta joked. I laughed as well, which was a relief in this tense room. The room itself was larger if not larger than even the Hob. It held all of the Chariots and their riders. I'm trying to avoid the gazes of the other tributes but since Peeta and I were the only ones talking it was not easy. I could see the glances of the other tributes.

They were defiantly looking us over, making sure that we weren't a threat to them. And as I looked at these entirely tough, muscled Career tributes I couldn't help but think that I was going to die the first day. I don't know what I was going to be able to do. Yes, I was buff but I haven't been trained to play in the games. I was trained to survive in a forest.

Cinna arrived quickly because it was almost time for us to start. I could hear the introductions being made already. Everyone was in line now and Peeta and I were the last ones, as District 12. I felt extremely nervous when Cinna held up a stick with a flame coming from the tip.

"It's not real flame," Cinna assured Peeta and I. "Just a little synthetic fire Portia and I came up with." Then he turns to me and speaks directly to me. "I want people to remember you as the girl who was on fire." I smiled slightly at him.

It crosses my mind that he's a little bit insane but really I'm focused on the fire in his hand. I gulp and turn to Peeta without really thinking.

"What do you think?" I asked him, staring at the flame as Cinna waits patiently for us to both come to grips with being lit on fire. It reminded me that even though he lacked the Capital's accent held their views to because only someone from the Capital would want to light you on fire and be completely serious.

"I'll rip off your cape if you'll rip off mine." He answered his eyes on the flame in Cinna's hands. Cinna had been distracted by the opening of the large gates to the ceremony center. We will have to ride the chariots through out the Capital and then to the City Circle. The ride will last twenty minutes all together but I'm hoping that it will be a short twenty minutes for us.

"Deal." I agree. "I know Haymitch said to listen and do what they tell us but I don't think lighting us on fire really crossed his mind." I joke but I'm trying not to think about Haymitch right now because I'm worried. The last time I spoke to him he was having a catharsis. I hadn't been allowed to speak with him because as soon as Effie had spoke Haymitch had pushed me to her. As soon as I was in her clutches I was pushed off to get 'beautiful' for the crowds.

I wanted so bad to go see if he was alright but I knew that would only cause problems for me and him because the Capital would see to it that we never saw each other all because I wanted to see Haymitch. So I sucked up all the strength I had and got onto the chariot with Peeta standing beside me.

Everything looked different on top of the carriage. It looked like I was the tallest woman in the world and that everyone should bow to my will.

_Not that they shouldn't. Everyone must bow to Destiny._

I shook those thoughts away. I'd abandoned that persona a long time ago.

I concentrated instead on the chariots as they left one by one at least half a mile between them. They were on District Seven now.

"Where is Haymitch anyway? Isn't he supposed to protect us from this sort of thing?" Peeta asks. I roll my eyes because it's the only thing I can do without thinking about how much I do wish Peeta was here.

"With all that alcohol that he's got in him I don't think we want him here." I tried to joke and it seemed to work because Peeta laughed. We're both laughing again and I can't stop smiling. Peeta was my best friend and I don't want to think about how we may not be laughing like this for much longer.

Suddenly Cinna is standing there on the wheel. They have went on the District 11 and soon we would be off. Without a word he sticks the fire on my cape and I realize that Portia, who was wearing the typical Capital wear, had lit Peeta's own cape on fire. I breathed in and waited but the only thing that seemed to change on me was really a slight smell of soot that came from the cape. I looked back but my eyes caught on the sight of Peeta.

Cinna had been right. The flames coming from the cape seemed to glitter on Peeta's blonde hair and the cape's fire colors melted with the actual fire and it made an ever-lastingly beautiful sight. The music has blasted through the large room and I can hear the cheers of the crowd as they clapped for their favorite districts.

Cinna patted my arm before saying something but now I couldn't hear him. He was forced to jump down as the chariot started off but he was still gesturing wildly.

"I think he wants us to hold hands." Peeta explained but it made me jump because it was right in my ear. I blinked but Peeta clasped our hands together, ignoring my confusion. "Smile, look happy. That's what he wants us to do." I nodded though I was still confused. I just was able to force a smile on my face before we cleared the gates of the center. Then I had to look at millions of peoples faces as they watched the chariots.

When they saw us I could see their alarmed reactions but as we got out farther they realized that it was part of the costume and they started going crazy which I had thought they already were. They cheered and clapped for Peeta and I, shouting out our District number. I don't know what to do at first, I just keep smiling and holding tightly onto Peeta's hand. Then I see the screens showing us. I can see my smile actually looks nice and I can see all of the teams work.

I wasn't fake, I didn't have the shiny color that the people from the capitol had but I was beautiful all the same. My black hair was flying back, what wasn't tucked into the head piece, and it looked like burning coal with the beautiful black shine it had to it. My skin was tan from my days in the woods and I was glad it wasn't a burnt tan. (A/N: It's a tan just like the color of Johnny Depp's in Pirates of the Caribbean, k?)

I actually looked nice because the unitard hugged the curves of my muscles which would have been found attractive back at District 12. Tinking this made me swell with pride and my fake smile turned into a blinding grin and I waved my free hand at the crowd. The waving was over the top but I know that I have to seem happy to be here, to be happy that the Capital has graced me with the honor of playing in their games. I gain more and more confidence as we grow closer to the city circle.

The Capital people are throwing us flowers, showering us with love and calling out our first names which I'm sure they hadn't known until they looked at the program when we came out. I feel hope rise in me. Cinna has given me a real chance. I can hunt, I can gather, and I can survive but now I'm recognizable, I'm loveable. This will help me get sponsors for the things that just can't be found in the wild.

I blow a kiss to the crowd and there's another roar of approval. A rose is thrown dangerously close to my face but instead I grab it. I take a delicate sniff of it and then blow a kiss to the stranger high in the stands. Hundreds upon hundreds of hands in the part of the stands that I threw the kiss to are climbing over each other to catch the kiss, like I had actually thrown a real one, as if that were possible.

"Katfir! Katfir!" I can hear them calling and I turn to look at Peeta and he's waving to, smiling at everyone is calling his name with mine. I grin at him and we laugh together, which nearly sends the crowd into cardiac arrest. It reminds me for a moment and I realize that we are the only tributes who have ever stood together. The others are standing on different sides of the chariots, not touching, and defiantly not laughing together.

We're at the City Circle sooner than I thought but I don't mind because I'm getting tired of waving, and my cheeks have started to hurt. I can barely make out the people because it's dark and they are both high in the stands. The sky overhead is overcast, which created the best light for Peeta and I's fiery entrance. The evening sky, quickly turning to night, helped us stand out as all of the chariots stopped in their correct spots, District 12 in the middle of the last of the two rows.

Now I have stopped waving because it's time to get serious. I realize that my hand has nearly squeezed Peeta's to death. I loosen my death grip on his hand and he looks at me nervously.

"No, don't let go of me," He tells me. "Please, I might fall out of this thing." I grin because it never occurred to me that we might fall out of the chariot but Peeta has never liked being in the few wagons that are in District 12. He claims that they are unstable and will fall apart at any moment. It would stand to reason that he would think the same thing about the horses pulling us in an open backed chariot.

"I won't." I assure him and his nervous face shines with relief for a moment before we go back to looking around us. There are a lot of different places that are full with people but the one that strikes my interest is the mansion, President Snow's, in front of us that was open for us to see the people there in front of us. Right now one was getting up to speak and by the white hair and the thin body I can tell that it is President Snow. Now the music is cut off and the Capital people are quieting to listen to the President speak to us.

He starts speaking, giving us the official welcome, like he does every year for the sake of the rules laid down by the person who made up this horrid game. As per tradition states they are supposed to show snaps of all the Districts. But it's clear that Peeta and I are getting much more recognition than the others.

The darker it gets as President Snow continues to speak, the harder it is to look away from our flaming personas. When the national anthem plays they make an effort to do a quick cut around to each pair of tributes but the camera holds on Peeta and I as we parade around the circle at the end of a line that was quickly heading to the training center where I will have to spend the rest of my days until the games start.

The doors have only shut behind us for five seconds before the prep teams, both Peeta and I's are there, chattering away. It's impossible to guess what they are saying because they are talking fast, and quickly. The other tributes aren't happy. They glare our way as their own prep teams babble away. We've outshone them with our fire and I'm proud that someone from District 12 can make such a good showing.

Then Cinna and Portia are there. They help us down from the Chariot which is much harder than getting on because now you can see how high these things really are off the ground. I sigh as Cinna takes the headdress out of my hair and then the cape. Portia sprays our outfits with some kind of gas from a can and they extinguish right away.

I'm still holding Peeta's hand and I let go of it as soon as realize this. Peeta grins at me mockingly and I make sure to slap his shoulder hard for making fun of me. He just continues to grin at me.

"Thanks, I was getting a little shaky there." Peeta admitted.

"I completely forgot you hated things like that. It didn't show though, you looked wonderful." I complimented him heavily. Peeta deserves it. He barely gets any love at home. He doesn't want me to know that but I know that the bruises all over him are from his Mom hitting him. I'd really like to show her what I could leave on her skin but Peeta manages to stop me every single time. At least Peeta has his loving Dad, a Dad who would come to the opponent's room and beg for me to make it fast. I shutter as I remember this but there is no time to worry about something like that now.

"I'm sure that they didn't notice anything but you." Peeta compliments right back and I blush because I'd been so proud of my looks for once. "You should wear flames more often. They really suit you." He grins again and I roll my eyes.

"Not again, if I can possibly help it." I grip. "I thought I was going to burst into flames and burn to death." I shutter for effect and Peeta snorts. Before he can say anything else there are people there gushing over us but also leading us through the room that was almost identical to the one before us. The only deference is I know that this one is at the bottom of a tower and that above us are the District rooms. Each District has an entire floor to themselves. The stylists, prep team, former victors, and your poplicity advisor stay with you so that they can advise you at any time. That means that Peeta, me, Cinna, Octavia and her group, Haymitch, and Effie would be staying in the District 12 floor.

We are packed into the elevator, which the sides of have been made of crystal so that you can see the people shrinking below you. I'm glad that Effie is here, because she will be able to get us to events on time, dressed, and help us stay happy. Haymitch though isn't here and I'm a little afraid, and even concerned for him. He's probably passed out somewhere, drunk off his rocker so I shouldn't worry. I still do though because I don't want him just randomly falling a sleep where I can't know that he's safe for sure.

I shake these thoughts away because I can't drop into thoughts of my worry for Haymitch. Now isn't the time. In fact, it won't be the time until I'm safe back at home. Not really safe, but where I don't have to watch my back against other tributes trying to kill me.

Effie is chattering away about how happy for us she is, and how she's never had such an exciting opening ceremony where the tributes are hers. She complains about how it's always District 1, 2, or 4 who really make splashes. I hear her grumble something that sounds like the name of the chaperones for District 1. I have to lift my mouth into a small smile because Effie hating someone sounds ridiculous to me.

She tells us that she's been talking us up all day and that people have been asking about us. It sounds like Effie knows a lot of people, and the right people at that. I'm not sure though because I've never bothered to pay attention to the crowds. I've always felt bad for the ones who were in the chariots so my attention had been on them.

"I've been very mysterious though," She goes on then squints her eyes in obvious distain. "Of course, Haymitch hasn't bothered to tell me your strategies. But I've done my best with what I have. For instance how Katfir sacrificed herself for her handicap twin. How you've both overcome the barbarism of your District." I have to still for a moment because I was reminded where I was again.

Of course the Capital would think that we were barbaric. They have everything handed to them at a touch of a button and on a golden platter. We have to fight to survive and my family is lucky that Dad was there to teach me to hunt.

Most of the people in the Seam die from starvation, the other half from the coal mines. No one in my family was going down in that mine. Prim knew how to hunt; she'd just have to get over the fear of killing them. Mom can just start her apothecary back up but I'm not going to think that way. When I come back I'm going to move them into one of the Victory houses. Then I can take care of Haymitch and work on his drinking problem to.

"Everyone has their reservations, naturally. You two being from the coal district." Effie continues unsuspecting of my raging temper. The way she says it, my temper just keeps flaring at every word. "But I said, and this is very clever of me, 'Well, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls!'" I don't have the heart to tell her that it was wrong. She just looks so happy that Peeta and I could do nothing but praise her for something that was completely wrong.

Pearls don't have anything to do with coal, pearls grow in shellfish by the sea. She might mean that diamonds are turned from coal but that's untrue to. I've heard that they have some kind of machine that turns graphite into diamonds. We don't mine graphite in District 12. It was District 13's job to mine graphite until they were destroyed. I wonder if the people she told know, or don't care.

"Unfortunately I can't seal the sponsor deals for you. Only Haymitch can do that." Effie is especially grim. I know though that Haymitch will take care of me. I had been doubting him before but after that conversation on the train I'm cautious of thinking things like that. Maybe he will keep his promise, but I don't want to get my hopes up. "But don't worry; I'll get him to the table on time at gunpoint if I have to."

My anger vanishes for a moment because Effie is so innocent. I felt as if the Capital people are babies, they don't know any better. Most of them don't even know how bad it is in the Districts.

We arrive at our floor and I'm amazed at the quarters they've given just me. It's much too large even for our group of people. It's larger than my house at home, though that isn't much really. It's so plush, with carpet even better than that which was on the train. The bed was fluffy, stuffed with some kind of soft material.

But the electronics were almost beyond my reach. I knew how to work the showers but that was all because of Haymitch. I'd never had to learn the rest of it simply because Haymitch didn't like the Capital. He refused to use the electronics or I'm guessing that's right because he smashed everything like that in his house when he first came back from being in the Hunger Games.

So I start with the showers. I play around with the settings for everything because I've never bothered to play around with Haymitch's and I didn't really care after the re-aping. I make it smell like lavender now and the scent is soothing to me. I make the water come down like rain, because it felt so natural. When I'm done, I can't help but morn the lose of water.

But I force myself to dry off, using the pool that shoots an invigorating pulse through me and dries not just my skin but my hair. Now I'm nude and my hair is so glossy and thick as it falls down my back that I feel good about myself even though I'm not longer on fire or in a chariot with people screaming my name. I sigh because I'm alone until Effie comes and calls me for supper.

I try to amuse myself with the food supplier. You speak what you want from the menu into the microphone and then the food appears out of a table. Its while I'm snaking on a piece of roasted chicken that I start playing with the remote. My breath hitches as the view of my window changes from the Capital to the factories of District 3. I moved it again, scrolling through the pictures until suddenly I was latched onto the forests outside of the gates of District 12. I sucked in a sharp breath because I knew this. There was a little pond there and the forest was lush around it. Just next to it was the little cottage that was so old that the windows had fallen out and the door was barely hanging on a little hinge.

My Dad had taken me to that little cottage. That's where he told me that Momma was pregnant with Prim and where he first taught me to shoot. It's the only place that I never wanted anyone but me to see and here it was for everyone else to fall asleep to. I felt more hatred for the Capital arise. Why couldn't they leave well enough alone? They don't need that scene from District 12. Why not just show them all of the starving miners who help with their fires?

I'm glad that not a moment after I get ready to rant that the door opens to show me Haymitch. I blink as he closes the door softly behind him. "Haymitch?" I say, very tentative. But he turns to me and grins while moving forward.

"You did good sweetheart." Haymitch tells me and I can't help but smile at the enthusiasm that is so not Haymitch that it is Haymitch. It makes me want to scream and shout because Haymitch is actually happy now and its so rare.

"It was all really Cinna. He gave Peeta and I the idea to appear as friends instead of just another pair of hungry children." I smiled when he didn't bother to sit on my bed. "Did you come to my room for any reason in particular?" I ask him and I can tell that my green eyes must be glittering with amusement. He rolls his eyes at my taunt and instead embraces me. I'm somewhat shocked because I don't know the reason behind the embrace so I just take it at face value.

"Food's ready." Haymitch states to me simply and it's my turn to roll my eyes as he goes to leave my room.

"Hey," I stop him and he turns to me but I can't remember what I wanted to say. His hair flipped back and I watched it with fascination as I finally notice what he's wearing. The suit is very handsome on him, it is so well fixed that I can't help but think that he must have had his own design team. I know because he'd never be able to come up with something fashionable- it's just not in his blood. But what really strikes me is that I'm talking to a sober Haymitch, one who won't vomit on expensive carpets or need to be carried into the shower. "You look good sober." I say because it's the only thing I can think of.

It stops him, more then I thought it would and it drops on me what he'd see in that. He'd think that I meant I wanted him sober all the time, and I do, but I don't want to tell him that. Haymitch turns fully around to me and slowly walks closer to me. I blink but his hand brushes my cheek and I can't move. "If you make it back," Haymitch tells me softly, his eyes dropping and so are mine as he invades my personal space, much to my delight. "Then I'll stay sober for you." He breaths almost subconsciously. His eyes are focused lower and I can't help but glance at his very distracting lips.

Just as he leans in to take my willing lips and just as I've stood on my tip toes to meet him-Effie decides to bang on the door. "Haymitch! I thought you were supposed to tell her dinner was ready!" We don't bounce apart but Haymitch looks annoyed, and I see shame that I desperately wish wasn't there. He removes his hand and I miss his touch. However this moment has given me hope that maybe….just maybe the odds are in my favor this time.

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^

Peeta, Cinna, and Portia are waiting for us in the one room that connects all of the quarters together. I smile at them all but I'm really glad that they are here, because I didn't know what I would do if it was only Effie, Haymitch, and I. After that moment I don't know if I can look at Haymitch the same. Yes, it gave me happiness that he'd even contemplate kissing me but it also makes me sad that he may not have wanted to kiss me if I wasn't prettied up by the Capital. Now that I'm in my own space and I can't smell the scent of him anymore so I'm no longer dazzled and it's making me crazy.

It doesn't seem to affect him, because he's walking and talking like usual, just without a drink. The only thing that could possibly be different is instead of sarcastic comments he's giving those grunts that all men seem to believe is a correct answer to any question a women asks.

I sit at the table with the others and I know by the tension around Peeta and the stylists that this meal isn't for food, it's to talk strategies. I hadn't thought of that. The only thing I've paid attention to is that I need to survive to get back. I don't know how in the world I'm going to get through this but maybe I can just hang back and let the other people kill each other. If I'm lucky the last two will kill each other.

That's highly unlikely because the Gamemakers will find that to anticlimactic. They'll want a big finish where I kill everyone. And then it hits me, I might have to kill Peeta. I know that I'd thought about it before but the gamemakers might actually make me kill Peeta in some dangerous and torturous way.

I almost spill the gravy I was pouring into my mash potatoes but I clench my teeth and bare with it. No one has noticed because the stylists are chatting with Effie and Peeta is eating quietly. Haymitch notices though, he's staring at me intently with his fork in his food and his elbows on the table. My green eyes connect with his grey ones and without being able to stop it, I'm blushing scarlet. This surprisingly causes Haymitch to smirk.

Everyone is making small talk, even Haymitch throws in a few comments but he's looking at me. I force myself to act normal, stick my tongue out at him but it doesn't dissuade his staring at all so I look at the food instead. There are mashed potatoes, something that we couldn't afford back home very often but there is a white grain as well that's very good. Chicken has been given to us as well, and bread that almost melts in my mouth from the amount of butter stuffed into it.

They gave us mushroom soup but I don't like the mushrooms. I think Katniss would have liked it a lot but Prim would have liked the crusted chicken more. I refuse to be saddened by thinking about my family instead I take a sip of some wine that has been offered. I don't like it because it's to bitter for me so I set it aside and instead settle for the fruity blue drink on the side.

The talk has turned to what we are going to be wearing at the interview but I'm focused on the large delicious looking chocolate cake they've brought out. The top of it was burning with blue flames and it actually makes me smile because it's beautiful. I have to be careful though. "What makes it burn? Is it alcohol?" I ask and I look up into the eyes of a man with the most startling features.

Oh he was plain, brown hair and freckles. But I knew him. Oh, God how I knew him.

Once while I was out gathering food for my family I met a man in the woods. He told me that he was living there all alone in the woods. At the time he was only a couple of years older than me. He was also my first friend. He taught me everything he knew about surviving and I taught him everything I knew about blades. I'd even given him one of the precious bows that my father made me before he was killed.

And then one day when he was taking me out farther in to the woods to a place where there were plenty of places to swim when the birds had suddenly stopped singing and then Hade, the man, had pushed me down into a bush. I'd been going to get up but then a large machine had flown over head, I later knew it was a hovercraft from the Capital.

I had to watch as they shot down a cable with a hook at the end and I watched as it pierced right through the middle of his arm and pulled him up. He'd screamed so loud, and I'd been sprayd with his blood. I almost never recovered from it but here he was, alive and well.

Well, not exactly. He's an avox, so that means he was a criminal. Was it from running away from his District or did he really do something? I couldn't ask him though, not with all of these people. It would only end badly if they thought I knew an avox- a criminal. So I only smiled at the man that I'd known such a long time ago. He didn't smile back but I could see an odd twinkle in his eye.

"Yes, it's alcohol," An oblivious Cinna answered but my eyes were locked with Hade's as he moved backwards to stand with the rest of the Avox's who were there to fill up our trays when we needed it. "But don't worry it all burns off with the fire. I ordered it specially for your fiery debut." I have to break eye contact with Hade's hazel eyes to smile at Cinna but then my eyes only wondered back to the avox. I heard a shift and blinked before looking around.

Peeta looked suspicious and he wasn't the only one, Haymitch did to. Effie and the stylists were still oblivious, which I thought was for the best. I guess my obvious staring was well, obvious. Haymitch and Peeta though would never know. Those months with Hade were always going to be just mine and his, no one elses – ever.

Soon we've all eaten the cake, which was delicious. As soon as Haymitch's fork hit his plate – he'd had five slices – Effie was ushering us into the living area to re-watch the display of chariots. Some of the other tributes made a good impression but the award defiantly went to Peeta and I. We were on fire and the low lighting only made us stand out even more.

"Whose idea was the handholding?" I hear Haymitch ask and I glance over at him. He's staring at the screen, not even looking at anyone but I can see his strained grip on his leg which seems rather odd to me.

"Cinna's." Peeta answers instantly and Haymitch turns his head to look at Peeta. It wasn't the best look to give to your tribute, a glare that spoke volumes to even me.

"Just the perfect touch of rebellion," He says, even though it contradicts with his glare at Peeta. He was right though. The hand holding had established us in the minds of all of the possible sponsors though because with all the other tributes stiff and angry at each other Peeta and I acting like the best friends we are would throw them off balance.

The T.V. is snapped off soon, as the piece ends. Haymitch stands up, stretching and I look away, pretending, like always, that I didn't notice the muscles in his back working or in his front…or on his arms.

"Alright, head off to bed you two. Training starts tomorrow so get a good nights rest. We will talk stratigies in the morning over breakfast." Haymitch dismissed us. I snorted and rolled my eyes before rising and popping a few bones awake and motionable. I smile at everyone.

"Yes, master." I mock Haymitch, just to lossen the tension between us after that…moment. He cracks a smile, just like I had hoped. "Goodnight everyone." I bid adieu and I was quick to rush off to bed. I was indeed tired after being primped, polished, and wheeled around to stare at.

When my head hit the pillow in five minutes I let out a groan and I didn't even get to think about any of the developments that were made that day because I was drop dead asleep right after tugging the blanket over my shoulders.

**Well, Sorry about the late update. Reality got in the way again, the pesky thing! Also going to start writing on my next story soon. Still not sure which one but probably one with Robert Downey Jr in it because that's the one everyone is asking for. I'm thinking of writing more than one story at once because then it'll give me more stretching room to write. **

**I'm really amazed at how many people actually like this story! Thanks for the support guys and girls! :D I appreciate every single thing you guys do, whether its just reading, favoriting, or story alerting. **

**I've gotten so many alerts that people have alerted my story that it's so hard to keep up with it. Usually I go on the profiles of the people of favorite it but there are way too many for my small mind and I'm so happy that there are so many!**

**I got to tell you my little plot bunny has nearly given all that it can give. T.T I might have to bury it soon and buy another one. Lol **

_**Okay, question per update!**_

_**Have you seen/read Harry Potter and who is your favorite character?**_

**Mine has to be Sirius Black and yes I've seen, and read Harry Potter. I'm a major fan. I've got Harry's wand and Sirius'. I've been to universal or 'Harry Potter Land' as I like to call it. It was awesome but everything was just so expencive! I've got a death eater ring to…and a Gryffindor jacket….wow, I sound obsessed don't I? Haha not lately. I really haven't been over obsessed with anything. **


	6. Let daylight dry your tears

All right, all right.

You've talked me into keeping the story up! XD I knew people were reading this story but I can't believe the amount of people who have remarked that they love this story so much and how it's their favorites! I'm so happy! However (Time for Bad news!) I'm still a little bit wary of writing what I had been planning to.

First of all, Destiny herself wasn't actually supposed to be featured in the story it was just supposed to be her as Katfir but I think if I bring that persona of her out then it would be less like plagiarism. Oh that reminds me. I put up a disclaimer in my profile that states that I don't own any characters or any of the movies or anything from the books. And if that wasn't good enough, I'll put it up here.

I don't own anything that could get me in trouble. I only own my OC and some of the plot, which is just where I went in and changed what happened!

Is that good?

The reason I had parts of the book was because if you remember Katfir _is _Katniss' twin so wouldn't they have some of the same thoughts, and some of the same memories? Oh well.

Okay so since I'm bringing out the Destiny persona, here are _**things that you need to know if you want to read onward.**_

To get the background story on Destiny, and how she got the scars on her wrists, go to my Destiny legends story. Now the scar over her heart will be from when she goes in to the Ironman movies. I haven't started on that story or published it so you can look forward to that! Um…The scar on the side of her cheek is explained in Destiny's Murdock. If you've seen the A-Team movie (Not the series) then you know that they are at one point sent to different prisons. Destiny, at the time called Rachel, was sent to Arkam Insane Asylum. The story is that she went crazy (more so than she already was) and the Joker gave her the scar on the side of her cheek because she was going into a coma.

If you have any more questions feel free to ask me.

Enjoy it!

_I could see myself in the mist. The woman I used to be. My hair a long black and white and it was shinning. My skin was tan and by that I knew when and where I was. I could only watch, over and over again as I got my heart broken. I saw the familiar figure, clad in dreadlocks break my heart, and how he begged me to take him back but I didn't. _

_I watched as I caught him kissing Elizabeth, a small pain compared to our break up. But the worse was through the entire thing his eyes were connected with mine and I couldn't look away from those dark depths even as I watched 'myself' run from his begging that looked like it was aimed at the present me. _

_Then without warning the nightmare switched and I was standing there and it wasn't Jack but it was Haymitch and he was kissing my, healthy, twin sister, then my mother, even Effie. It was never me and my heart was almost bleeding out of my chest. It was so painful and I clutched onto it because his eyes were meeting mine and the blue orbs dug deep. My face burned and my wrists hurt. Everything hurt._

Finally I was released from my dreams to bolt up in my soft, Capital bed but it wasn't soft anymore, it was cold and harsh and I want to go _home. _I felt pain everywhere, and it just hurt so badly. What was wrong with me? What happened to me while I was sleeping? Did the Capital decide that I was useless and try to take care of me this way? What is this pain-?

Wait.

My cheeks, my wrists, my heart.

I knew this pain all right. It was from….back then.

I cried out and tugged my hands out from under the covers to feel my cheeks and when I pulled them back they were covered in the familiar crimson liquid. I scrambled out of bed and stumbled to the floor. My legs couldn't hold my weight. There was no telling how long it had been since I started bleeding. How much blood have I lost? I forced my legs to hold my weight and I stumbled into the bathroom. I looked into the previously beautiful wavy mirror.

What I saw there made me scream at myself. My cheek was ravished into ruins. The left side of my face had a large, painful scar leading from the tip of my mouth to curve along my cheek bone in a fiery, over-the-top half smile. I yanked the once beautiful shirt off and there right above my heart was the long straight scar where my skin and muscles were forced back together, via my abilities, lying along the center of my chest. On my wrists were the unnoticeable lines of scars.

I squealed and fell onto the ground in shock. The pain of my butt hitting the floor didn't even register in my mind. I clutched my face as if the scars were signs that they it would fall right off.

What did this mean? Why were these scars back? This dream? Was it a sign that I was going to need myself in the future or was it just my control slipping?

Wait. I calmed my breathing down, taking deep inhales and exhales. No, it had to be the approaching danger; the danger of the Hunger Games must have triggered the scars to come back to my skin in this body.

I shakily rose to my feet, grimacing now at the pain in every part of my body. Ignoring it for the moment, I turned on the tap and began to wash away the blood from my face, and from my heart, even my wrists. They must have reopened, just like when I first got each of them. I shuttered at even the memory of them. I'm suddenly glad I was asleep for that. The scars were painful enough the first time around so why would I want to experience it again?

I took a look at my injuries now that I was clean of blood. It wasn't so bad. Sure the one on my face was horrific because it was connecting my mouth and you could tell that it went right through my cheek and into the insides of my mouth. At least it was closed up and looked to be a few years old by now. I could remember my best friend (At the time he'd been just another prisoner in a cell to me.) saving me by giving me this scar. But that was a time I didn't remember. I didn't want to remember anything.

Yet, here I was with all of my memories being slammed in to my face. I couldn't deny it but I couldn't use it either. I'm Destiny, controller of all of the fates in the world, but also the destroyer of lives.

NO! Those thoughts got me where I am now, getting sacrificed in a game for the Capital. I couldn't remember anything about myself or…or…I'd have to worry about more than just the people around me. I don't want to be faced with that responsibility anymore. I've had centuries upon centuries upon centuries of taking care of everyone else and for once I don't want to think about what's going to happen in the future of everything. I just want to be apart of the humans.

Well, look where that got me. I'm about to be pinned up in an arena with children who haven't been alive enough to have any real fun. Most of them will be starved and ready to die or the others have been trained their whole lives to kill other children. What kind of goddess am I that I can't even protect the humans?

Well, to hell with them all! I'm going to go through this life, just like I planned to.

While I'd been panicking my body had sat down on the edge of the large tub in the middle of the bathroom. Now I pulled myself up and stood in front of the mirror. I slowed my panicked breathing and focused on what I needed to do. I started with one deep breath, then another, then another until every breath was long and came from the very bottom of my being. Slowly the raised skin in my cheek began to take the shape of a proper but very fake, cheek. I concentrated one by one until the scars were hidden behind fake skin.

When I finished, closing the last cell wall around its cell membrane, I stumbled back and groaned. The job was very taxing. If I had been in my usual…form…I would have had no problem but in this form, mostly human, it was hard to do anything unnatural.

I forced my feet to move under me until I was lying on my bed again. I groaned when I realized that both the bed and my clothes were soaked in blood. Luckily for me it wasn't as hard for my blood to wash away because it usually vanished once it was no longer in contact with my body. However, the blood on me would make me have to get a shower again.

I need to embrace the fact that I'm not normal and no matter how much I want to be, I will never be human. No matter how many times I change my name or my figure, and I have to realize that before I get hurt. The problem is that I want to be one so bad. I've always been happy prancing around and deciding what to do for everyone. But the humans don't like it they say it's a lack of free will. How else is the universe supposed to work? I love humans but look what happens when I give them free will! They send children into an arena and kill each other.

Well not when I'm done they won't. I'm sick and tired of rolling over and playing dead. I'm going to win this and then I'll find away to stop this madness, using my powers or using my human abilities. It's probably best that I stick with my human abilities though because if I suddenly start acting weird with my powers then they'll become weary. The Capital's weapons wouldn't be able to touch me – if I was in my natural form but if I die in this form, not only will it be painful but I'll not be able to come back, as per the rules.

So human wise is the way this is going to go.

My mouth stretched into a grin and I glared into the fake picture of the forest. This might be fun, now that I've settled back into being…me…

**I know its kind of sudden of me to do this but I thought that I could get this out to show you guys that I will _slowly _be continuing. I was heartened by all of the reviews that told me that I should continue. That's the only reason I'm continuing this story at all. I had no idea that people loved this story that much but I'm glad I know it now. I'm not quite sure where this story is going but I hope that I can continue it to your liking.**

**And now, I'm going to try and forget the fact that I almost shut down the story.**

**Has anyone seen the Avengers yet?**

**ITS SO AWESOME!**

**It is by far my favorite movie E.V.E.R.!**

**I think I almost went into a coma during the whole movie. I loved it so much! It was funny, dramatic, sad, and awesome and…and….Awesome! I loved Robert Downey Jr. in it. He was my favorite and my eyes were on him the entire time. I can't say much more because some of you haven't seen it but I'm telling you now that you should see it because it will change your view on movies!**

**Of course Thor was okay…and Captain America….Lets just go ahead and say that I loved everyone in that movie!**

**Okay, question of the update:**

**If you were in the Avengers who would you chose to take the heart of?**

**For me it's Ironman all the way. I've never really supported Pepper. I mean the girl didn't like him at all and didn't see that he only really had eyes for her. I kind of get it, since he was a playboy but she wouldn't even let him tell her that he was dying. He promoted her to CEO and she still treated him like crap. He even took his workers from him. She kicked him out of his office and didn't even spare him a moments thought. She's a power hungry bitch and I'm tempted to leave her out of any story I write!**

**Oh….sorry that got kind of long didn't it? Oh well….**

**Thank you guys for reviewing and urging me to continue with this story!**


	7. I'm here, with you, beside you

**Someone remarked that they were a little confused by what I wrote. I have it all written on my profile so I think that if you don't get it then you should go on there. It's really very simple and I've used it in all of my stories. My stories, granted, aren't the best but they keep getting better as I go along. So I'm hoping that you all who don't understand will go and read it from my profile otherwise I'm going to continue. If you still don't get it then review and tell me so that I can try to explain it to you.**

When I awake next its morning again. My cheek and heart ache, and so do my wrists. I go to take a shower and they are still covered by a layer of skin though and I proceed just like I would have had the night never happened. That's what I'm hoping to do but I can already feel my attitude towards everything changing. It would be both harder and easier to win the Hunger Games.

Since I was…immortal…No that word doesn't fit. If I was immortal I'd still be able to be permanently killed. Anyways, if I were wounded in battle I'd have to fight my body's natural reflex to heal itself and in return I would gain another everlasting wound, just like the one on my cheek.

I climb out of the shower and again I'm refreshed by the way the water had felt on my skin. I have to admit, the Capital really knew how to treat somebody to the good life. At home the showers were just a rag and some cold water. Now I tried myself off using the pole that shot electricity through my body. I even go an extra step and use some of the bottled lotions that are resting on a shelf next to the mirror.

As I return to my room I realize that I will not be dressing myself today. A pair of tight black pants, a long sleeved burgundy tunic, and leather shoes has been left in front of my closet. This only serves to remind me how much I really hated my free will being taken away. I was a being that was used to having her own way. Spoiled? Yes. Loving it that way? Absolutely.

I pull the clothes on. They aren't that bad really, but the tunic may take some adjusting to. I glance at the mirror that is just on the door of the closet and I realize that I look calm. It's not something that I've been since Dad died. There was always something in the way of me being calm. Whether it was getting food for my family or taking care of Haymitch, there was always something that called my attention away from myself. Now, I get to think about myself, problem is that I'm thinking about my survival and not a hot cup of chocolate. Not the 'thinking about myself' I was really hoping for but it'll do.

I haven't _exactly _come up with a strategy. I'm hoping that Haymitch will help me with that. After all Haymitch has been through it all before. Granted his arena was probably different then what they are going to put Peeta and I in but his help would be better than nothing.

The only thing I can think to do is train now and later, at the mandatory interview I can find some way to appeal to the crowd of wealthy supervisors that are just waiting to sponsor a player in their games. With this idea rattling around in my mind I manage to do up my long, cascading hair into a high ponytail, leaving just enough for bangs that I can tuck behind my ear. There was nothing else I could do and I was quite hungry so I headed out of my room and to the dining room with the funky furniture in it.

The table was clean from any kind of remains of our dinner last night but there was an aria of food waiting on a board off to the side of the raised dining area. An Avox, not Hade, is waiting there stiff and his eyes attentive. I head up the stairs and to the board glancing at him for permission. He nodes at me and I start to serve myself to the feast in front of me.

Despite my change of mind I am still disgusted that so many people are unable to eat when the Capital must throw it away all for the sake of being glamorous and loved by their peers. I could think of people in the Seam who could really use this food for their families. I make a side note in the recess of my complex mind to someday give a little more back to the homeless, or even the less fortunate. For now though I need to eat as much as possible so that I can hopefully last longer in the arena.

I sit down at the table by myself and begin to eat for lack of patience to wait on the others. I don't have to wait long because soon both Peeta and Haymitch join me for breakfast. Peeta is his usual self and he greets me quietly with a nod of the head. He has always been a morning person. Haymitch is sluggish though. He will be until he gets some food in him. I have to admit though he does still look gorgeous even to my time-wised eyes. His blonde hair is rather rumpled from his restless sleep and his shirt and pants were probably only thrown on without looking. His blues eyes are murky with sleep and his movements are slow but powerful.

It makes me think that without the alcohol he probably had a rough night. He usually keeps the nightmares away if he falls into a drunken, exhausted heap. He's the best when he has a knife clutched in his hand as well. I remember not even two days ago when I'd been waking him up with a bucket of water. Those days were gone for a while, at least until I am able to come home. Of course they probably won't resume then. I'll need someone else to step in and take care of me because there is no telling what kind of shape I'll be in after the Hunger Games.

Peeta is wearing the same outfit as I am and I have a passing thought that it looks all right on him.

I'm more worried about the training. For three days all of the tributes will train together. On the last day of training we will get a chance to be judged by the gamemakers in private. I don't know how impressive my axe work will be. I could always use a knife, but that's probably over used. I've never seen bow and arrow work done before but I'm not that good that was always Katniss' forte or it was before the accident.

I also am nervous about meeting the other tributes and about their reactions to me. From the glares Peeta and I received I can't assume that I have any allies as of yet.

Soon Haymitch is done eating, after he's eaten about fourteen bowls of stew that is. I'm tempted to comment on the amount of food but I settle for grimacing and watching all of the food disappear. I think after the fourth bowl he was only eating to watch my face. That would explain the smug expression on his face a lot more than him being smug about eating. Finally he's done eating. He sits back and starts talking the first I've really heard since last night.

"So, let's get down to business. Training." Haymitch says and I fall in love with him all over again. Yeah, I've got to admit it. I'm in love with Haymitch, the man who saved me. I guess it could have been worse, I could have fallen in love with Peeta and then I would have had to watch him die or I would have had to kill him. At least I'm allowed to come back to Haymitch after this. "First off, if you like, I'll coach you separately. Decide now." He tells us and I meet his eyes before I look at Peeta's.

"Why would you train us separately?" I finally ask. I want to make an informed decision so that I have the best chance to win. Even if its against my best friend since I was five.

"Say if you had a secret skill you might not want the other to know about," Haymitch explains and he leans closer in his chair but I'm looking Peeta in the eyes. He really is too sweet, overly sweet with his cute face. I'm sure if he put his mind to it he could have the entire Capital falling all over him. What have I got? Nothing.

If I decide to practice without company I would probably revert to my unnatural powers but on the other hand I'll also keep my secrets from Peeta. Not that there really is anything that I can't show Peeta. If I decide to train with Peeta I can know both his good parts and bad parts. That way I can maybe make it quick but hopefully I can avoid him all together and let someone else take him out.

I feel sick, planning the death of Peeta.

"I don't have any secret skills," Peeta decides for us. "And I already know what yours is, right?" He asks and I agree. He knows way to much about me for me to train by myself. "I mean, I've eaten enough of your squirrels." It shocks me for a moment. Peeta and I have never spoken about the meat that I sell to his father. I feel silly not thinking that Peeta gets to eat the meat to. I guess that I just saw the kind old man eating them himself, away from his overbearing wife.

"We'll train together, then so we can help each other." I agree with Peeta. He breaks out in a smile and I can't help the answering one on my face. I do see the grimace that passes Haymitch's face and it confuses me. The disgusted expression is gone as soon as it came though and I don't waste time trying to figure Haymitch out because lets face it, I don't understand men nearly as well as I do animals.

"All right, so give me ideas of what you can do. I already know yours, Katfir, but tell me again so I know them all." Haymitch orders us. I shift in my seat and try and think of all the useful things I can do.

"I can't do anything," Peeta admits. I don't like to say bad things about Peeta but he is a baker's son and, even if it was cast-offs from the bakery, he's always had something g to eat. "Unless you count baking bread."

"Sorry, I don't." Haymitch doesn't look all that sorry at all. He turns to me and again I'm drowning in the blue in his eyes. I think I can see a bit of silver in them around the edges. "I know you're good with a knife and axes, what else is there?" He asks me.

"I can hunt, and survive a few days in the forest. I've practiced with a bow and arrow." I admit. "Not near as well as Katniss, but I'm pretty good." I also throw in just so he doesn't begin to think I am a good enough shot to take out anyone with it. My axes, it'll be easy but not with a bow and arrow. Maybe I can work on that during my training.

"But I know you're good at it." Haymitch waves away my comments. I've brought some food to him before, when he would complain about the Capital food. It got him to eat so most of the time I would do it just to keep him talking at night.

"Yes, She's excellent." Peeta suddenly interjects but he isn't looking at me, he's glaring down Haymitch. I flush with the praise but it doesn't mask the hostility between the two men in front of me. Yes, Haymitch is glaring right back even as Peeta continues to praise me, unneeded by the way. "My father is always commenting on how the knife never pierces the hide, or how the axe only ever cuts off the unnecessary parts." I don't want to admit it, because it sounds weird to praise my skills but he's right. If the hide had a lot of holes in it then I wouldn't be able to sell it for as much money so I learnt to hit them at just the right spot.

"Peeta is strong." I blurt out, just to ease the tension. It works because now they are both looking at me in surprise that I was even speaking any more. "He's always lifting things that I can't. Like, like, the flour sacks that way a hundred pounds at least." I told them.

"Yes, I'm sure the arena will be full of bags of flour for me to chuck at people. It's not like being able to use a weapon. You know it isn't," He disagrees with me. I can feel my face getting hot with anger.

"But it's an asset. You can use it to help you with fighting. You can wrestle, I know that. You came in first in the school wrestling matches." I tell Haymitch, who is quickly fading off my radar as I try and talk Peeta up just as much as he is me.

"How good is that? What am I going to do, wrestle someone to death?" Peeta says.

"There's always hand-to-hand combat. All you need is to come up with a knife, and you'll at least stand a chance. If I get jumped, I'm dead." I Tell him. True, if I had a knife I could do some damage. I've never had to use it up close though. I've never had to fight someone up close but I can throw a knife from a distance. How will that help me if I'm getting attacked?

"But you won't! You'll be climbing up trees and picking people off. You know what my mother said to me when she visited me?" Peetas asks me and I know that it's flooding out of him now. I already know it must be bad because his mother really doesn't like Peeta. She's a horrible woman and I fear what I'm about to hear. "She told me 'maybe District Twelve will finally have a winner.' Then I realized that she was talking about you."

My face flushes again, not from the praise but for anger. How can the last words you said to your son be something like that. "She must have meant you." I argue anyways.

"She said, 'She's a survivor that one.' _She _is," Peeta strains.

My hand is now crushing the table where I'm clutching it. My other hand is flat on the table and I leaning closer in the heat of the argument. Peeta is to and I realize that Haymitch is there, watching us wearily. Strangely though, I can see smugness in his manners. Again I wonder why but I put it aside to analyze later.

"That's nonsense. She doesn't know what she's talking about." I grind out to Peeta. He in turn rolls his eyes and sits back, disbelieving that I'm still to stubborn. That thought makes me want to smile and I can feel my cheek twitch for a moment.

Peeta turns to Haymitch and exasperatedly tells him, "She has no idea. The effect she can have." I see something flash in Haymitch's eyes as his eyes flicks to me.

"Agreed." He muttered, before gulping down his blue fruit drink. Peeta shuts up and runs his clean nails along the grains in the wood and I glare at the bowl of rolls in the middle of the table. After a minute or two of this, Haymitch finally breaks the silence.

"Well, well, well. There is no gaurentee that there will be any kind of axe, knife, or even a bow and arrow in the arena." He tells me. I know what he means. I remember one yearthey only gave them hideous, violent maces to bludgeon each other with. "However, in your private session with the Gamemakers, use it to your advantage. Until then, stay clear of any of the things you are good at." He instructs. I'm confused for a moment before I understand.

He means for me to be secretive, so that I don't show the other tributes what I can do. It's a good strategy and I'm so thankful that I have a strategy now that I could kiss Haymitch right now.

I'm brought up short as I remember the moment in my Capital room…that moment when I thought I was going to die because for that moment Haymitch wanted to kiss me, _me. _I feel the flutter of butterflies in my stomach, something that I haven't felt since the first I realized that Haymitch was a man now, instead of a broken teenagers.

Unaware, Haymitch continues. "Are you any good at trapping?" He asks me.

"I'm not as good at it then other things, but I'm pretty good." I mutter, because I'm very much aware of Haymitch now. He seems a lot more at ease then he was before. It's like my argument with Peeta only made him happier but I really don't realize how he can be happy about that.

"That may be significant in terms of getting food," Haymitch says, still completely unaware of my confused thoughts. "And, Peeta," He continued. "She's right; never underestimate strength in the arena. Very often, physical power tilts the advantage to a player." I'm suddenly thankful that I can rely on the muscles I have in my arms from my axe throwing. Maybe, if I was lucky, I really could make it in a fist-fight. If I was even luckier, I wouldn't have to.

"In the Training Center, they will have weights, but don't reveal how much you can lift in front of the other tributes." Haymitch instructed him. I had it right then, the strategy was to not let on that we have skills, why we try to better the skills we don't have. "The plans the same for both of you. You go to group training. Spend the time trying to learn something you don't know. Throw a spear. Swing a mace. Learn to tie a decent knot. Save showing what you're best at until your private sessions. Are we clear?" He asks us, really confirming what I had realized so I nod, and so does Peeta.

"One last thing. In public, I want you by each other's side every minute." He told us. This I don't understand. I mean, I probably would have anyways, because I was going to anyways, because he was the only one that I was going to know at all here in the Capital. Haymitch doesn't let us protest though. "Every minute! It's not open for discussion! You agreed to do as I said! You will be together, you will appear amiable to each other. Now get out. Meet Effie at the elevator at ten for training." I force myself to bite my lip at his explosion.

I didn't think it called for all of that yelling but its Haymitch and there isn't anything I can really do. Os instead of making a fuse I manage to drag me to my room. When I get there I'm surprised to see Hade standing there straightening the covers on my bed. The door clicked behind me and Hade looked up at me.

For a moment we are both frozen but then I couldn't help it, I burst in to tears and fly at him. As my arms find their way around him I can't help but sob and stick my head into his familiar chest. His arms wrap around me to and it's like I'm coming home. I've never admitted it to myself but Hade was like my second father. He took care of me and he mentored me.

"Hade…I missed you so much." I sobbed into his shoulder and his arms tighten around me. I can see, because my face is digging into his neck, that he has grey in his hair now, and that his face has wrinkles in it, despite the Capital's fake red eyebrows and dyed lips that are on his face.

I know that he can't speak; it's a punishment from the Capital. If you do something that makes you an avox then they take your vocal cords out in return. I hate that I'll never hear his voice again because it was something that had caused me so much warmth in my youth. It was a deep baritone that had a strange accent that apparently came from District 11.

"Are you okay?" I ask, though I know its probably wrong. I step back from him and I wipe away the tears on my face because now my eyes are going to be red from crying. I glance at his arm, the one that had squirted so much blood all over me when he'd been attacked. Hade, who has always known what I meant, undid the white and red shirt he had on so that I can see the scar he was sporting. Of course the Capital people wouldn't heal someone who was a criminal. I tentatively touched the wound and his arm twitched. I hastily pulled my hand away but he caught it in his rough hand and replaced it on his arm.

His tan skinned made me want to cry again because the scar was pure white.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't help and I should have, I wanted to—" I try to tell him but he only brings me back into an embrace and clasps his arms around my back so that I can rest on him. "I wish I could talk to you, I've missed you so much." I confided in him. I smiled when I felt the familiar sensation of his lips against my forehead. It meant that he missed me to, I realized and it made me tear up again only this time Hade was the one to wipe the tears from my face.

I in return kissed his cheek and smiled at him. But then there was a knocking at the door and my head snapped to the door. "Yes?" I asked, surprised that my voice was so steady considering what I was feeling, despair, sadness, and yet happiness.

"It's ten…" Peeta's voice said through the door.

"All right, I'm coming give me a second." I said to him, running to the bathroom to splash some water on my face to fix the redness of my eyes. It barely helped, but at least it wasn't as noticeable as before.

I walked back into the room but now Hade was staring at me and I can see the amusement that was written on his face. He gave me a wink before he slipped out the door, leaving Peeta standing there, confused as I stepped out of my room as well. "Shall we?" I asked, walking along, not waiting for an answer from him.

**I know it's really short you guys but I wanted to go ahead and get it out there for you guys to read because you've been so patient with me. I don't have to much to say right now because I'm really liking this story but I've started on my Ironman story and I've got to say that it is one of my best. I've started on so many ways that I could do that story but I've all scraped them in the end because they just wouldn't go with the story I lost. Now, I'm only so far in the story that I've written and it's in the early stages but I like it so far. I hope, when I finally get it up, that you guys like it to. Oh, I'm going to re-see the Avengers, because it was way to awesome for my brain to comprehend. **

**I saw Dark Shadows and it was all right, but it wasn't Johnny Depp's best movie. It was pretty good though I kind of thought it was to hasty and didn't explain a lot of things correctly. Don't get me wrong, it was good, and it had a lot of funny parts but it was no Avengers.**

**So question per update:**

**Which Fanfiction story is your favorite?**

**Mine has to be You wanna know what I think? By RubyWaters. It's a JokerOC and the OC is named Jane. She isn't anything special, she's just an aspiring writer who works as a janitor at Arkham Insane Asylum. She's been raped before but then this one guy comes in while Jane is scrubbing clean the Joker's cell and tries to rape her but the Joker saves her because she's been feeding him food to keep him from starving. It's really good and I love it to death. I read it over and over when I'm bored. If you like the Joker then you should go check it out and also there is Violet in Gotham, I forget who by but it's pretty good once you get passed the first few chapters.**

**Anyways, thanks for reading!**


	8. To guard you and to guide you

**I don't own the Hunger Games or anything that I could be reported for or sued for.**

The training room that Effie brings us to has amazing weapons in it. There are no walls but only stations in there where every different activity is spaced a little away from the others. The training room is actually below ground level in our own building so we don't even get to see the Capital. I can't help but think that they do that on purpose. They wouldn't want us to see the luxuries they live in and get ideas.

Peeta and I are the last ones to arrive in the gym. I notice quickly that the other tributes aren't dressed alike, but Peeta and I are. As some one pins a piece of clothe with '12' on it to my back so the game makers that are watching a cubicle in the wall above us can tell who I am.

As soon as Peeta take our places in the half circle a woman with muscles that bulge in her shirt starts telling us the training schedule. We choose our area's, moving freely among the many ones. She tells us that our mentors should have given us instructions and I remember the instructions from Haymitch to work on the ones we are no good at. At each station an expert from the Capital is there to guide us through it. They'll teach us anything that we may need in the arena. I find this ironic since we have no idea what the arena will be like.

No tributes are supposed to interact. We can't fight each other, we have assistants ready at the stations so that we can practice the fighting techniques if we need to. I glance around but one of the tributes is glaring at me, and it startles me. The one with blonde hair is glaring at me. He's a career tribute, from District 1 I think.

I quickly look back to the trainer, not so much because I'm scared but more because I don't want to look at the kid I'll probably have to kill in the future. It'll only depress me if I learn something that I don't want to know about them. Atala is reading from a list of the skill stations but I'm not really remembering them. I just want to hit them all, so that I can work on the skills I don't have. I realize though that I'm one of the best tributes.

My muscles have grown from always swinging around my axe and the meat and plants from the forest has caused me to have an advantage over the starved tributes. Most of them haven't been fed like these Capital people. I shutter to think that I would be like them. I've had hard enough of a time but I'd hate to have to think about their problems. Plus that would just make me identify with someone I'm going to have to kill. The only ones who aren't skinny are the career tributes, who are buff and well fed. I wonder if their families went hungry just so they could be in the Hunger Games.

But still. The Career tributes are heavier than me. It's more likely that in a fight with no weapons that they would win. They give off just waves of hostitlity and I can see that I'm going to have to work hard so that I will even have a chance to win against them. Atala lets us go and everyone heads to different stations, the ones that look the deadliest are taken by the Careers at once.

"Where should we start?" Peeta asks. I glance around and my eyes land on a knot tying station. Why not start with the basic necessities?

"Let's start on the basics." I tell him, walking to the station. The expert actually looks excited to have us there. Apparently no one ever wanted to come to his station. I think that's an overseeing on their side. If you can't tie a not, then how do you expect to stay in the tree while you sleep? Or how do you make a trap if you can't tie a knot to keep it together to work?

When we get there and he realizes that I know a bit about snares he shows me how to make a simple trap that will leave a human dangling from a tree until you get there to release them. We focus on this station for an hour until we've both mastered all of the techniques that the man can think to show us. Peeta chooses our next station, the camouflage station. Again this man seems to be happy that we came to visit. I wish I could say the same. All I can manage to do with them is make a few colors out of the vines and berries that I recognize but I'm rubbish at painting it on as camouflage.

But Peeta is a master at once. With only a few basic instructions from the expert he already has it all together. He's painted life like tree bark onto his arm and I'm stunned when he holds it up to a tree. "Wow, all those cakes are finally paying off." I joked to him. He laughed as well. I glanced at a boy from District 12 who is sending a spear through a dummies heart and I wonder if I can accomplish that. I've never used a spear before, simply because they were hard to make because I'd have to find the straight wood required for them. I just found it better to use the axe I already had at hand.

He's very good. He got all of the shading right, even for the light of the fake ones that hang over our head in cages. "It's so real. I'd never be able to tell." I admired his work more, getting closer to look at it. It looks better than the stupid splotches I had used. Hey, at least the splotches would help me to blend in with the scenery around me. I let out a sigh as we pack up from this station and move on to the next one.

For three days Peeta and I continue through this. We learn skills that will keep us alive in the arena in any situation. We went through all kinds of training, including obstacle courses. That's something that I beat Peeta at. There was an extra long obstacle course that goes around the gym. I'd made it through all of it with little to no scratches but Peeta got caught in some of the places, like the climbing. I helped him along, and told him where he would need to secure his weight.

He even helped me with how to carry the weights, though he was careful to hide his strength from the other tributes, just like Haymitch told us to. Haymitch and I haven't had another moment alone. Despite his order to appear mediocre, Peeta excels in hand-to-hand combat, and we can't help but to try our best when we get to something new. Sometimes we are surprised that we are good at something that we've never tried before. When we came to the edible plant test I pass with flying colors, not messing up once, but Peeta struggles through it. I take time to help the expert explain the differences in every piece of leaf so that he won't swallow poison berries or moss.

We stay away from anything that we now we are good at, like the axes that sit in a corner unused. I want to go to them, to through them around because they look wonderful, and shiny. All of mine, though well taken care of, are old and dirty, wooden. But Peeta reels me in with that stupid knowing look.

Then comes the first day of private lessons. I'm scared beyond belief. I don't know how I'm going to do. Haymitch has prepared us for what to do, along with a few snarky comments about it. The Game makers appear early that day, dressed in purple robes, another strange thing about the Capital. I just want to get through the lesson with at least something between a six and, optimistically, an eight. It starts like any other day, because the actually sessions won't start until later.

Peeta and I are edgy, sticking to the plan barely. I know that we both want to show them that we are worth sponsoring, and worth a high grade number. Sometimes the Game makers take notes, watching all of the tributes with interests and sometimes they eat and talk to each other and ignore us. But I do notice that quite a few eyes are drawn to Peeta and I. I have to internally thank Cinna for doing such a wonderful idea because it's given us a lead on the computation already. I learnt that while we eat the game makers even consult with the trainers to see how we are doing. I hope that I've made a good impression on more than one of them.

Breakfast and dinner, are tense because they are held in our quarters and everyone uses this time to get what happened the day before out of us. I know I'm silent because everyone is trying to cheer me up and bring me into the conversation, especially Haymitch who is giving off sarcastic comments to rile me up but I'm to tired and anxious to care.

At lunch all twenty-four of us are rounded up to eat together. The Career's all sit together while the rest of us are left to our own devices. Everyone but Peeta and I are sitting by themselves. Peeta and I make conversations to help with the friendship. We are good though because we actually are friends and it really shows.

One day though Peeta spreads the contents of a bread basket out to me and begins to explain to me the bread from each district. The green tinted bread is from District 4. The crescent moon roll that's dotted with seeds is from District 11. They all seem better than the muck they offer in tesserae but I don't say it.

One day while we are together at the spears which I've almost mastered, Peeta points out something to me. "I think we have a shadow." I grimaced and looked behind us to just see the head of the twelve-year-old District 11 girl as she watches us. As soon as she realized that I was looking she scampered away, disappearing as she climbed up the training equipment that connected with the high roof of the training grounds. She fascinates me as I watch her move. I'm no where near as good as her at climbing. She does it like its second nature to her. It makes sense since District 11 is the agriculture district. Peeta picks up another spear and I throw the one in my hand, hitting the middle of the circle while Peeta's hits the second to middle rim. I deemed we'd both stayed here long enough and we move on.

Rue joins us at some of the stations, and though she doesn't speak I know she watches me. It would be hard not to notice, even with me not being…who I am. So I take a chance and I smile at her. I know that I'm risking my heart, because I might have to take someone so young's life away from her, but I can't help it. She reminds me of Prim and that thought has me pushing tears back. I wish I could do something, but I know that I can't.

So instead when she slips in her watching and actually joins us I help both her and Peeta. We don't talk but she helps us to. She's quiet and points out the mistakes we make, and important things that I don't even know myself. I don't mind helping her but I can't believe that I actually enjoyed her presence. It reminded me why I wanted to go back to District 12 alive. Other than for Haymitch.

I've got to hold on to every hope that I can and I'm holding on to my love for him and the love for my family. But I was not going to die because it wasn't physically possible. I just had to make it _look _like it was physically possible while at the same time trying to keep it together….yeah that sounds just awesome.

Rue is very skilled at survival, like me. She can climb swiftly, and is great with plants. She also has a little weapons training with a slingshot but what will a slighshot do when it comes to killing others? I can't see that and I can already feel my heart contracting for this little girl who had hardly seen anything. Of course there wasn't much about this world that was to see.

Finally after a week of training and preparation the Gamekeepers start to call us out for our private sessions. They start with the first District like always and work to the last, with the boy going first. I'm not sure how mine will go, and if I'll need my extra help or not. I don't want to use it and I shouldn't have to because no one but the gamekeepers and I will know what goes down in my private lesson. All they will know is my score. But I don't know if I want a high one, to scare the opponents or a low one so that they will underestimate me. I guess we'll have to see how mad I get.

That's what I fear. When I get mad I lose all sense of judgment. It'll be like someone awful has truly taken over my body and if that happens here in the Capital they might try and kill my family at home or Haymitch. They've no doubt realized that I am in love with Haymitch, with the way they keep us watched they might even kill Hade.

Peeta and I are sitting in the lunchroom, waiting our own turn to go into the training room and wow the judges. I'm nervous, and so is Peeta because he's babbling about cake icing. I can't help but to roll my eyes and snort. Then they call his name.

"Remember, do your best in there." I told him as he rose from the table that we were sharing. The other tributes have already left. I could feel my own anxiety rise even when Peeta grinned at me as he walked through the guarded doors and to the training center.

I wait fifteen minutes in a worried silence, playing with some kind of spiky purple fruit on my plate with my fork before my name is called. I rise from the chair and gulp down the spit that had pulled in my mouth. I walked through the doors and into the training room. They'd cleared it out in the middle, and I can see two stands a few yards from a dummy. I walked to them, glancing at the gamekeepers.

They aren't paying attention. Maybe two of them even noticed I entered. When I reach the two stands I realize that Haymitch has told them my strengths, swords, and axes. I pick up one of the swords, and twirl it around to get a feel of it. It's a little heavy on the blade which means I'll have to be careful with it. I glance again at the gamkeepers, a few more are watching but it's careless. They don't expect much from me, I can see it in all of their faces. Why should they? I've given them nothing to say that I was good at anything but wearing flames.

It still makes me angry. They would bring me here, make me train to kill other teenagers but when I bend to give them a show, they won't even pay attention. I throw the sword, spinning to throw it and with my anger the force of my swing causes the blade to pierce straight through the stomach of the belly. I growl in disappointment and I hear the only watching gamekeepers laugh. I look to them and realize that they aren't paying attention; I've lost their only real interest in me. I try again, this time hitting the dummy straight through the head with a thin, perfectly balanced knife.

I hear more laughter, they've all turned from me to stare at the large pig coming in and being sat down. I watch as they all laugh and flock to it, enjoying themselves. I can see the head gamekeeper, Seneca with his curled Capital beard. It makes me angry that the head guard is standing and laughing in front of the punch bowl and that his subordinates are at the Districts tormenting so many people.

I look at the axes. They've supplied me with all different sizes, including a huge one with a double sided blade and a short handle. I pick it up swinging it all around, over my arms, under them, getting used to the blade. It's comfortable, much more comfortable then the knives. I turn to the gamekeepers and I suck in the only breath I can through the haze.

My eyes are clouded with the hate, the fury that they would dare to not give me the respect I deserve. SO when I pull back right as a spot is cleared between the men and I let loose the oversized axe, I'm not surprised that it zooms right through the middle of them and the tip of the blade hits the apple in that damn pigs mouth.

It's silent and the haze clears. The gamekeepers, judges if you will, are all staring at the axe that very well could have ended all of their lives. That is if I wanted it to. Then they are staring at me. They've realized that I could have killed them. Surely they will have me removed now. The anger is almost gone. The last thing the little angry side of me makes me do is giving a snide, smug comment.

"Thank you for your time." I sneer and I curtsy because I've all ready pushed so far over the line of things a tribute isn't allowed to do that I figure it wouldn't hurt. Then I'm out of there. I don't bother slowing down. I race to the elevator as soon as I'm out of their sights. I'm hyperventilating. I can tell all the signs are there. But I can't stop it. I can't stop thinking about the horrible mistake I must have made by doing that. They are going to kill me and Haymitch and my family. Hell they might even throw in that cat from down the street because I fed it once.

When the door opens and I see the anxious faces of Haymitch, Effie, and Peeta I can't speak. Instead a kind of scared and horrified squeak comes out instead. "Sweetheart?" Haymitch asks, cautious. I step out of the elevator because I don't want it to take me back down. I feel my legs coming out from under me and I squeak that weird squeak again. I'm caught and it takes me a moment to realize that the hands that have caught my upper arms is Haymitch. In that moment he looks into my face and searches. I guess he finds what he is looking for because he pulls me into his arms, sticking an arm under one of my knees so that he can carry me to my assigned room.

"Haymitch, what's going on?" I hear Effie call out, shrilly but I'm still hyperventilating and I can't stop to answer her. He slams the door to my rooms so that it locks with his strength.

"Sweetheart, I need you to calm down." Haymitch tells me while he sits me down on my bed. He sits next to me and I'm struck with déjà vu from when it's always me sitting next to him, begging him to let me in and see what's wrong with him. This realization makes me laugh and it breaks me out of the hyperventilation. Instead I take this moment to let Haymitch gather me into his arms.

"I might have seriously screwed up." I breathed, nuzzling my head into his neck. It's warm and his hand is on my head, tangled into my hair. I sigh with pleasure when his hand pushes against the small of my back so that I'm closer to him. Then he pulls away so that he can look me in the eye.

"What happened?" He asked me, seriously. That's Haymitch. He's keeping his promise to keep me alive and I want to kiss him for it. And I might have done it right then if I had the courage to tell him I love him. I can't though. I've known Haymitch for years now, but I still didn't have the courage to tell him. But I have to. I'm going to go into that ring soon and I just…want him to know. But not now.

"It doesn't matter." I told him, sucking myself back in. Tonight they'd give out what we made and then tomorrow we'll get ready for the interview.

That's it. The interview. I can win the crowd over with being in love and then Haymitch will know. It's callous, and Haymitch won't appreciate it but I can't do the intimate scene. I can't stand the possibility that Haymitch will have time to tell me he doesn't love me. This way he doesn't have to. I just hope that the interviewer can bring it up and I don't have to.

"Of course it does, you came back in tears. What happened?" Haymitch asked. I disentangle myself and get up to pace, running my hands absently through my hair. This plan could work, and even if it makes me loose Haymitch, then I can still make it through the arena and come back to change his mind. That's a good plan.

Haymitch stops my pacing, and stands in front of me. I stare at his eyes, those enchanting eyes that I've fallen in love with. He can have green, brown, orange, any color but that silver was something that just pulled me into him. I think it's his best feature. It just screams at me to love him.

"Sweetheart." He says firmly, his arms on my shoulders now to make me look him straight in the eyes because he knows they are my weakness. God does he know. "If I'm going to keep you alive, I need to know what went on down there." He told me, trying to force it out of me but I smiled at him.

"It doesn't matter." I repeat and back up to turn to the door. "I want to go eat dinner before they give out the numbers." I told him, still trying to keep my plan firm in my mind. But I haven't made three steps before his arms are around my waist and then he pulled me against him, my back pressed along his body. I sucked in the air around me but it doesn't seem to be enough as he whispers in my ear.

"I want to help…" He breathed. "You've helped me so much…please?" He asked.

"That's…" I took a gulp of breath. "Haymitch, I will tell you…after we get the number." I told him strongly, pushing out of his arms with what little strength I had against his control over me. I turned back and I hesitated before boldly getting on my tip toes and kissing him on the rough, stubble covered cheek of his.

"Promise." I told him before escaping him to be badgered by Peeta and Effie. Not like that could make a difference because now all I can concentrate on is Haymitch pressed against my back and the feel of his cheek under my mouth.

Dinner was a tense affair. At least the stylists were there and I could chat with them peacefully, though not really because I don't know anything about the life of the Capital people. My jag of insanity had scared Effie and Peeta away from questions but the look in Haymitch's eyes was both anger, and determination. I was going to be held to that promise I just made. I took my time eating, enjoying it. It was nice to not be too tired from training today. I guess it was for the best because I was probably going to have a lot of emotional turmoil tomorrow and maybe even tonight.

When I couldn't handle anymore and everyone was through we walked the short distance to the television to see how we did. It wasn't five minutes after we sat down in the sitting room that the TV lights up with the Hunger Games anthem.

The two announcers on the screen, sitting at their fake little desk made out of some kind of translucent, not glass, material flash a picture of all of us tributes in a colorful collage that would have been actually very awe inspiring had I not been in the games. All the pictures are from training, though they don't air that part of the Hunger Games. The one of me is from the training course and I remember it. I'd jumped between two cliffs to get to the other side of the course. There had been a fancy Capital program that had made it seem all so real. It had seemed like a million miles of air was beneath me.

Then it all settles to seriousness then. They flash the official pictures of us, and then our score under it. The Career's all average eights to tens, always the highest. No one has ever made higher since the beginning Hunger Games. The other, none career tributes, that are like Peeta and I get around five. I'm shocked but not so much as I would have been, when the little Rue got a seven. I'm unsure which attribute that she showed them but I'm a little glad that they seem to think that she's got a chance.

Then Peeta's score comes up. I can't help but to congratulate him with the others when he pulls an eight. "I-I didn't even think they had been paying attention. They were all singing drinking songs by the time I got there." He sputtered, happy. But then my name is called. I looked to the screen and I'm frustrated when the announcer just stares at the piece of paper with the scores on it that's in his hand. His partner, a woman, clears her throat and he jumps.

"Uh…And Kat-Katfir Everdeen, the Girl on Fire." I'm startled that they called me that. Cinna really did a good job on those outfits if everybody is calling me that. "Registers a-a 12." I stare at the screen and there is complete silence before a gurgling sound escapes from my mouth and then a curse.

"The hell?" I blurted out and my exclamation breaks everyone out of there stunned gaze. Haymitch's arms are around me before anyone else can react. I squeal as he swings me around in the air, almost knocking over the table. He set me down and laughed.

"What the hell did you do to get a 12?" He asks me and I can see that everyone is smiling at me, relieved after the way I had acted when I'd gotten back.

"I-I" I started but I'm not prepared to share it with everyone, I'd only wanted to tell Haymitch about my slip up. He seemed to understand because he mumbled an excuse before grabbing my arm and storming me back into my room, which seemed to be our safe haven from the others. I know Peeta is arguing, but I don't want to be forced to tell him so I let Haymitch slam and relock the door.

"Now, you promised me sweetheart. I want an explanation to why I thought that you were going to end up with a One." He stressed, walking forward and I backed up to the fake window in surprise.

"I threw an axe at them." I finally blurted out. Haymitch froze, his face only changing to an incredulous face before his whole body shook with laughter. All the tension was released from me and I started laughing to.

"I didn't mean to. I just got so angry because they weren't paying attention to me! They were focused on that damn pig. I'd shot a sword into a dummy's stomach and shot a knife through its head but they didn't pay attention. So I warmed up an axe. Even the fancy maneuvers I did with it didn't interest so I just…throw it at the apple in the pigs mouth at the right time and the tip of it pinned the apple to the wall." It all came flooding out as I confessed it to Haymitch. He laughed at me, taking me into his arms and swinging me around again.

He set me back down and my breath caught as he stopped to stare me in the eye again. I see the smile that's got his face actually looking so happy and I can't help how I want to kiss him, and as his eyes dilate and darken I have to hastily remember my plan. I pushed away from him under the pretense of giggling some more. The moments gone, but it still plays apart in my mind when I lay down to sleep later, to rest for the big interview the next day.

**I know, you guys must be mad, right? I'm sorry but I haven't got any excuses for you this time. All I can really say is that my mind has been wrung until there is nothing that wants to come out of it. With all honesty I can't remember anything about this story that I wanted for it. I've lost interest in it. Maybe, when the movie comes out on DVD I'll be more interested. HOWEVER that does not in anyway mean that I'm quitting this story. I will finish it whether it's in a week, or in a month or even in a year. I will not stop this story at all. **

**In other news I have a new obsession.**

**Jasper Whitlock.**

**Some of you people are probably like 'Oh shit, a twilight fan' but don't. I've been off and on. Really, I didn't even know about it until the movie came out. I read the book then and decided that the movie was worth a try. Then I fell in love with the story. After a while, because they waited so long to get the next movie out I lost interest. But at the beginning of two weeks ago I found a story online in my favorites and I was all like 'Why the hell not?' and I have as a reward for that a JasperOC in the works. **

**Destiny will _not _be playing a part in it, well as Destiny. It's still Destiny but she won't be Destiny. If that makes sense? Okay…well I'm not going to do it prematurely but I'm going to put it up when I've finished the first movie, Twilight. **

**It's called Her Soldier and it's going to be a JasperOC like I told you.**

**Now, for the question of the update…**

**Who is your favorite Cullen, if you aren't a twilight fan then What is your favorite movie?**

**I don't guess I have to answer who my favorite Cullen is do I?**


	9. Let me be your shelter

When I wake up I feel determined. It's new, but not so new. I was determined before, even before I…remembered myself. Now I know what I'm doing, I've got a plan. My personal life will with no doubt be brought into the conversation. I'll just have to bring myself to give up personal information. I've never been easy at giving up information because if I gave away to much some one might try and hurt me or my family. It has always taken me years to trust someone, but to tell every single person across the Districts something so personal…I didn't know how I was going to do it.

But I needed to. I needed to win this challenge, so that I can go back to Haymitch and explain to him…maybe I might manage to get him to love me to. I just hope that he won't tell me that he hates me before I go into the arena. If he says it before I'll have no reason to go on through it. No that isn't true. I have my family waiting for me, wanting me to come back to them, to take care of them. I'm so tired of taking care of everyone but myself but it's in my nature. I'm not sure if I can stop it.

I'm not sure if that's true either. I'm a selfish person, I've always known I am and I fight against every part of me that tells me to do something selfish. I have so many peoples lives resting on me. Actually…it's really just mine isn't it? Everyone else might get depressed, or is that me thinking too much of myself? Maybe they'll just miss me every now and again. It doesn't matter. Peeta will be fine. He has other friends, that aren't in the forest all day who he can talk to, if he wins. If he wins then he would take care of my family, I know he would. Even if he doesn't, the consultation to the family of the fallen tributes should be enough for a little while.

But what about Haymitch? I'm not going to lie to myself. A lot of people don't like Haymitch, and Haymitch doesn't like a lot of people. Most of the time they can't stand him drinking away his problems. They think just because Haymitch doesn't live in a wooden house in the Seam that he should be prancing around singing Hallelujah but I know that seeing and being apart of the killing of his other tributes was hard enough on him. I still remember the mornings I came to his house to find him sitting up and staring straight ahead just because he couldn't forget the memories.

"Katfir! Hurry up and wake up! Your stylists are ready to go and you haven't eaten yet! It's going to be a big, big, big day!" Effie Trinket's voice knocked me out of my pity party and for once I was grateful for her high pitched voice. I shouldn't doubt myself so much. Of course they would all miss me, I know they would. At least, I knew that I would miss them if it came down to it.

I climbed out of bed and took a shower, adjusting the shower to be hot and smell like the forest. I didn't want to have to bother with it. No doubt that I would be stuck in a shower of some gunk all day.

And that is exactly what happened. I barely had time to get a roll before my three, overexcited stylists jerked me away to the room of wonders. I was in the bath most of the time, soaking in products that I had no idea what they were. I freaked a little bit when they tried to put me in some deep blood red liquid but they soothed me by telling me it was only water with rose scents in it to make me smell delicious for the interviewer.

They combed my hair out, cutting off a few split ends and even massaged different chemicals into to make it shiny and beautiful. I admit that if I'd taken better care with my hair, I could have probably done the same thing with a few herbs from the forest. It would have taken to much time to do it though, when I'm grabbing food to both sell and eat.

It barely even fazes me when I'm told that Peeta no longer wants to be trained for the interview together. I can understand. Peeta doesn't want me to know his tactics, and honestly I don't want him to know mine. After the visit from his father where he told me that Peeta had a thing for me, I didn't want to see his heart break. Hopefully, if I'm down right lucky, his father was wrong, or just maybe Peeta had found someone else. But lets face, the odds have never been in my favor so what's the likely hood that they'll be in my favor now?

So for multiple, long hours I let the stylists primp me. They've already seen every part of me so I'm extremely less embarrassed when they trim the hair from places it shouldn't be. I even talk to them about everything I can think of, telling them a little bit about life in District 12 but mostly the good parts. I tell them about how I helped Haymitch and telling the story to someone else makes my heart bubble and it puts that smitten smile on my face that I've only just realized is probably always on my face when I think about him.

Soon, but not really, I'm being huddled in a room by myself. The room is black and red themed. The Avox's have placed refreshments on a dining table that is framed by two couches and two chairs. I disregard the food and drink though when I see a bag hanging from a metal pool off to the side of the room. I walk to it carefully. I guess I think that it's going to explode but knowing that Cinna is the one who designed it I can't really rule that out yet.

My fingers drag the zipper down the brown bag and I gasp as my eyes catch a lovely black material made not of fabric but of some kind of liquid midnight black dress. It flowed down to the ground in the back but in the front my legs were going to show. The back was tied together with strings of a dark purple with silver twinged, not unlike the silver that was mined in District 12. I gently took it out of the covering because I couldn't even remember the last time I loved a material thing like this dress. I dropped the bright orange robe I had been wearing so that I could slip the dress on.

I had to pull my hair out from the dress but it had grown so long that I almost dropped the dress. I walked to the mirror hanging behind the couch and tried to tie the dress.

"Here, let me." I heard. I turned around, fast in surprise. Haymitch stood there by the door. I scowled at him.

"How long have you been there?" I asked him, but none the less let him close. He tugged the strings in the back of the dress tight. I sucked in so that he could get it as tight as I'm guessing it was supposed to be. My breath hitched when his fingers brushed the small of my back from where the back of the dress just barely covered. I looked in the mirror and I could see that when I moved some silver sparkled on the dress but when I moved sharply or faster than a walk, the dress flamed at the tips. It made me smile at Haymitch. I'd completely forgotten the question that I had asked him.

"It's beautiful, isn't it? Cinna knows what he's doing." I told him, looking the foot up I had to. I couldn't decide if I was to short or if Haymitch was to tall. He grinned down at me anyways, answering this question.

"Yes, you are beautiful." Haymitch muttered and his hand brushed my cheek. I could feel the heat rising in them as his fingers lingered. I had to remember the plan though; I was going to put my love to good use. I didn't think Haymitch would agree but if I kept it vague, then he may not know until afterwards.

I looked to the door as someone knocked and entered. It was Cinna and he had a nervous smile on his face. It reminded me that he was a new designer and that my clothes were the first of his to see the light of the camera. So I moved away from Haymitch and twirled in front of the mirror for Cinna. I watched in the mirror as flames of all different colors licked at the ends of the dress.

"You look beautiful." Cinna said, walking in and I couldn't tell if he was talking to me or the dress. Haymitch moved to sit down at the couch and he began to eat some of the food in leisure. I giggled nervously as Cinna moved around me to clip some of my hair up for me in little black clips that had small silver pieces that when they caught the light seemed to flame up as well.

"The dress is beautiful Cinna, I don't know how you do it." I told him glancing in the mirror now, twirling so that I could see it all put together. I admit that I did look very beautiful in these clothes, probably the best in all of my years at the Districts since I was born in this body. The silver and black even set off my bright green eyes in a beautiful way and for once I felt the right to call myself the most beautiful one here.

"It's nothing." Cinna muttered and I grinned as he tucked another clip in my hair, pushing it into place for me. Then he grinned at me and lightly took my hands for a moment to squeeze them. "You're going to do great, everyone will love you. Just remember, chin up and proud." He told me before escaping out of the door. I sighed and glanced in the mirror again before sitting on the opposite couch from Haymitch. I took a few bites of some of the less messy food, so as not to get the lipstick on my mouth wiped off.

"All right. I've all ready talked to Peeta and he's chosen his way to win over the crowd. What angle are you going to use?" Haymitch asked me, chewing on a piece of roast beef. My nose scrunched up at the sight of his food but really I was thinking of how well that suit fit him. It clung to the right parts of him and I also noticed how his eyes were no longer swollen or bloodshot from the liquor. It made me smile at him.

"I'm not quite sure yet." I lied quietly. I don't lie a lot and I hope he doesn't notice. If he does then he doesn't say anything. Instead he frowns and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Well, you've got an hour with Effie about presentation and then an hour with me before you have to go on stage. Effie is talking with Peeta right now and then it'll be your turn. Peeta was finished first so I went ahead and spoke with him." Haymitch explained to me. I nodded, understanding. "So that gives us an hour to come up with something." He told me, swallowing down a large piece of barely chewed purple fruit. I worried for a moment that he was going to choke but put that aside for now. There was more the worry about.

"I don't know how to start." I told him. Maybe he can help me with something else, besides what will be my ace in the hole. He sat back and stared at me for a moment and I couldn't help but fidget under his intense gaze. "What?" I finally blurt after a few minutes of him doing nothing but staring at me. He grimaced and leant forward again.

"I'm trying to figure out how to tell you to act." Haymitch muttered. "Shy? No you're to outspoken for that. Fierce? Calm? Aloof? I'm tongue tied. You've got all of the qualities but focusing on one of them will make them think you don't have any of them." Haymitch continued. "The dress makes you look dark and commanding, you can use that to your advantage." He suddenly frowned. "Or you can play on all of them. Every question, answer it like you would before, I think that will work…just try not to anger any of them. Remember, these people don't have to search or work for their food. They don't have to do anything. So try to appeal to them." He told me strongily.

"They already like you from your outfit during the opening ceremony. They're all probably desprately trying to think of how you got a twelve. They will ask about that, without fail." He told me. "Play on it." He told me scooting forward. "But make sure to give them answers, you aren't going to like it but you will have to tell them about yourselves. They may be air heads but they'll notice if you don't talk about the important part of you." He instructed before seeming to skim his brain for something else to say. "Talk about how nice everyone is, and tell them about how much you love the dress. All kinds of things try it. He told me before some one knocked on the door. I couldn't believe that it had already been an hour; it didn't seem that he'd even been talking ten minutes.

I rose from my seat to be almost attacked by Effie. Haymitch squeezed my shoulder before he left out the door to go do whatever it is mentor's needed to do before now. Maybe he was going to go sit with the rest of the mentor's in their reserved box, courtesy of the Capital of course. I took in a breath as I slipped on the high heels that Effie had brought with her, a stunning silver and black compination that curled around my ankles like snakes. I had never walked in high heels and I was shocked at how wobbly they were. The way Effie had walked in them had made it seem so easy to do. It took me thirty minutes of my time with Effie to get walking down. Then she taught me how to walk with my chin up, my back straight.

As she taught it to me it all flooded back from my past times. I actually had to thank myself for waking up because I was sure that an hour would not have been long enough for me to relearn all of this knowledge. As it was, I would have to remember to be graceful, and to walk with light footsteps, and confidence as well. When a bell dinged in the room, right when I was being embarrassed by my lack of sitting expertise. Apparently with the way I had been sitting I had been flashing the black sheer fabric that covered my intimate parts at Haymitch earlier. I can't believe he missed out on that chance to mock me.

Now though Effie was taking the last moments of prep to try and teach me what Capital people did and didn't talk about. I had no idea what an Electric Funleas was but apparently the prep team had used it to shave of every unseen hair on my body.

A loud and ear ringing ding sounded through out the ring and Effie took that moment to make sure that everything about me was on place. She then began ushering me out of the room and towards what I'm only assuming was the way to the interview stage. I was gathered at the back of the line, right in front of Peeta. He was in a black suit that I admit made him look rather wonderful but it had flames sewn into the sleeves and pants legs. I grinned at him, nervously and he shot me one that looked like he was about to fall over from nerves.

I wait for us to go on, because we will all line up along the back of the stage and sit in chairs, to wait until our turn to be called. After we are done with the interview we are sent backstage, and we are done. I want to be first, so I don't have to wait through all of the others. I know it'll only make me more nervous to see them all doing so well and then see myself flopping through the interview like a fish out of water.

But it's nothing that I can negotiate with them about so when I walk out on the stage, my lungs almost shut down. There are so many people. I've only ever seen near this amount of people before once every year, when everyone is forced into the center to be chosen for the Hunger Games.

I remember, even though I can't breath to sit up straight and to cross my legs like Effie taught me. I let a small smile stay on my face. I breathed in a little at a time, making sure I looked calm and collected. Not that it really mattered too much. The chairs were pushed back away from the center of the stage, where the interviewer sat now and a chair beside him where the interviewing Tribute would sit.

I have to blink twice when the first one went up, the girl from District 1.

Caesar Flickerman. He's been the host of the interviews for forty years now. He has a way with words, and he always makes the tributes approachable. He also has a color for every Games he has interviewed with. I find it creepy that in all the years that he's been doing this his appearance, besides the hair, has not changed once. I know it's the plastic surgery of the Capital but that doesn't make it any easier for me to accept. Last year, his color was a bleeding crimson. It was awful, and his hair had looked to be dipped directly into the stuff.

This year it's blue and I'm grateful for the familiar color and approachable look. It's better than the people I can see in the Capital with weird dresses, and long stems of things growing from their hair. I can't begin to know how they stand it. He tells a few jokes, but he's down to business soon, because this is very important, it'll attract the attention of sponsors for us, and seals the interest of the ones who were already interested in us. I'm hoping that my twelve will have already solidified some for me.

District 1's girl is looking sexy in a golden see through gown. I thought it made her look like a slut, being able to see that much of a girl is too much. I can see her buttocks from where I am, so I can only assume that the audience can see her other bits. I'm guessing that it's a last ditch way to grab the attention of the males in the audience.

Ten minutes is how long that we stay in that chair. After that a buzzer goes off that tells us that our time is up and that we have to go. I watch the interviews, keeping the lady like sense about me. I sit right, just enough to give them a peak at my fully developed women's curves. I'd thought nothing of them when I'd been in District 12 but Effie had exclaimed when she'd found out that they were all natural. Apparently they were perfect. I can only hope that she is right because I've never shown this much. True it's not anything like the see through gown, but most shirts and pants at District 12 are button up cotton, to fend off the cold of the mines there.

Soon the Districts are going by. 2, 3, 4 they go by like wild fire and I can't help the nerves that start to crack in my brain but I calm them down as soon as possible. I have to seem calm, cool and collected if this is going to work. I can only feel more and more nervous though, as I think about what I'm doing. I always promised myself that I wouldn't tell Haymitch my feelings, fearing rejection, and now I'm going to do it on stage, where every district is going to see it, my family will see it. Everybody will point and laugh at the girl who got her heart broken.

I force my attention back to the stage. They all play up some kind of attruibute. District 12's muscled monstrosity is a ruthless killer. The red head from District 5 is sly and allusive. I make note of these, because I'm sure that this reflects back on them so maybe I'll use these qualities later, in the arena. 8, 9, 10 they all go by. I can see everyone, Haymitch has taken his seat, Cinna and the stylists are sitting with the other stylists in there places. I can see Peeta next to me and I give him what I hope is a good smile and he returns it, though it's less composed then what I hope mine is.

I watch Rue, the little girl, as she plays up her age. I'm almost convinced myself that she's just a cute little girl. If I hadn't seen her wonderful skills with wildlife before during training then I would have believed it. She really is too cute for words. It reminds me again of my sisters back home, one disabled, the other to young to take care of the family.

I can barely even focus as they go through Thresh, the tall, buff boy from District 11. Then they call my name, for me to come up and I take in a deep breath. I feel like I'm trying to soak up the courage and the luck to get through this without fainting or worse, crying when I tell them about Haymitch. I rise from my seat and the breath has calmed me, as if I really had soaked in calm now. I pull all of the stops out, the ones that aren't from this life, but the ones I've already been through. I cock my hips right to get the attention of every man in the room, to tell them I've got the thing they look for the most.

Sensuality, that's one of my attributes, and I want to use that with every chance I can manage without coming off as a whore. All they need to know is I'm not so inexperienced that I'm a blushing virgin. What they don't know, won't kill them per say. I sit down in my seat, crossing my legs that are lightly taned and the dress rises again to give them just a little peek. I sit back on the back of the chair, to smile at the crowd, and Caesar. I can see I've hit my match because there are whistles in the crowd, some are bold out staring, like Caesar Flickerman. He leans forward, and I'm guessing my hypnotics skills have stopped now that I'm sitting.

"So, Katfir Everdeen, The Capital must be a change from District 12. What has impressed you most since you've arrived?" Caesar starts out with the questions. I know he'll ask what I want him to, because he's asked everyone so far. I just hope I don't back out by then.

"Mr. Flickerman-" I start, licking my lips to moisten them.

"Please, Caesar." He invites, something he hasn't done for the others, and I'm pleased by this. It means I'm doing good.

"Well, Caesar, I have to say the best thing about the Capital is the people." I told him then paused to smile out at them. "Of course, I also have to say I realy enjoy the mashed potatoes." I confessed to him. The audience laughed, including Caesar. I put a hand over my mouth, giggling with them.

"Oh, the one with the sauce on top?" He smiles at me, leaning in between the chairs. "I eat it by the bucketful." He jokes then grabs his fake, probably nipped and tucked, belly. "It doesn't show does it?" He asks the crowd and he laughs. Yes, he tries to get us in the best light, all of the tributes and I'm glad that I'm not all alone with trying to make myself look good.

"Now, Katfir, I have to say the Opening ceremony was stunning. My heart almost stopped when I saw you ride out in that chariot." He told me and I smiled wider at him, glancing at Cinna who was nodding. Be Honest. "What did you think of that costume?" He asked me.

"On first sight?" I asked him. He nodded. I rolled my eyes back as if I was remembering. "Well," I scooted farther, and it showed a little of my thigh to the audience. "I have to say, I didn't know if I was going to be burnt a live or not." I confessed. The crowd laughed, along with Caesar and I'm hoping it's a good laugh. "But, I really loved it. After I got over my fear of the fire, it truly was one of the most amazing things I'd ever seen." I told him. "I can't believe the brilliance of Cinna, I can't even believe this dress!" I stood up and twirled, so they could see the daring plunge of the corseted back, but also the rainbow fire of the dresses fringe. I grinned at the crowd as they exploded with applause over the return of the fire.

Then I sit down, because it'll ruin my new image if I fall off the stage, just like Haymitch had. The crowd dies down with the motion of Caesar's hand. I smile as he starts again with the questioning.

"The training? I say, it's been at least thirty five games since someone pulled off a twelve. Can I ask your secret?" Caesar asked. I smiled again before my eyes flitted to the gamekeepers.

"I would love to tell you." I told him, placing my hand on his shoulder and leaning closer conspiratably. "But I don't think the Gamekeepers would like that very much." I told him, whispering but my voice is caught by the advanced technology and it's multiplied.

"Oh, you're killing us with this mystery." He jokes. I put a hand over my mouth when I smile, though I can see on one of the screens my pearly white teeth are peeking out from behind my hand. My eyes are shifting slyly. "Details. Details." He begs from me.

"Oh, no I can't possibly. I can't tell right?" I ask, just to be sure. One of the gamekeepers, the one that fell back into the punch answered.

"Right!"

"Sorry, I'm afraid my lips are sealed." I told him, placing a finger over my lips. My finger nails have been painted black with flames coming from the tips of them.

"Let's go back then." He told me, solemn. "To the reaping. You volunteered for your twin sister, and she was disabled. Can you tell us the story behind it?" He asked softly. I stop. I don't want to tell them that. It was painful and personal to the family. I can't stop though, I have to tell them.

"When we were younger." I said softly. "My father had died and my mother was incapabable of taking care of us, so it was up to me. I wouldn't let my sister work at all, I kept her at home or working on the cleaning around the neighborhood." I smile softly now, my eyes tearing at the memory as I told it. "But she was stubborn, just like me. She waited until I had gone out to find us a way to work and then she went to the mines, exactly where I told her to never step foot. A-And there was an accident." I told Caesar, looking up at him. He was listening intently, along with the rest of the crowd. "A rock fell from the ceiling and crushed her against a rock. Her pick axe was stuck between her and the wall. It ended up piercing the bottom of her spine and making it impossible for her to move. The rock itself caused her to breath painfully from weak lungs." I told them.

"Oh," Caesar said. He looked as if he shouldn't have brought it up. I look out to the crowd and smile though.

"It's okay though, because she's happy, and at home. She helps take care of what she can and my family and I love her every day of our lifes." I told them. They cheer, clapping loudly. I can't help the giggle that I let loose. "Thank you." I told them, and Caesar who handed me a hankercheif to dap away the tears.

"So," Caesar says, clearing his throat. I smile at him. "We know family means a lot to you, do you have any speacil plans for your own family? Maybe a boyfriend whose waiting at home?" He hinted. This is it, the make it or break it.

"Well," I start and my hands are fidgeting in my lap and I can feel the blush rising on my cheeks. "I don't have any special plans, because I don't have a boyfriend." I told him, shyly. It gets his attention because I haven't been shy the whole time that I've been here.

"Oh, but something tells me you have a boy in mind." He sang the first part and the crowd laughed again. I squeezed my fingers together and glanced one last time at haymitch before smiling softly at the crowd.

"Yes, but I don't think he'd ever consider me." I told Caesar. He pouted for me and held my hand on my lap.

"Oh, I'm sure he can't resist you, I know we can't." Caesar says, the crowd cheering and whistling again but they calm down soon. "Why don't you tell us who it is, I promise we won't tell." He jokes. I shift in my chair.

"You promise?" I ask him, widening my eyes innocently. I hear awes in the crowd and then shouts for us to know.

"I pinky promise." He says, holding up his pinky. I took it with my own pinky before gathering up my breath.

"It's Haymitch Abernathy, my mentor." I told him.


	10. Let me be your light

Silence followed my announcement. There was complete and utter quite. My cheeks were a solid red and I had to keep myself from glancing to the mentor's box. I didn't want to see his reaction, because of pure fear of what he would react to it. I didn't get a choice though, like everything else since I'd volunteered, because the camera's had floated from me and had snapped to his stunned face. His eyes were wide but his whole body was frozen, with his glass of blue fruit liquid halfway to his mouth. I watched, anxious as his eyes continued to widen before he reacted, standing and walking out of the room. Just like that. There were no emotions on his face and I didn't know if that was good or bad.

"Oh, my," Caesar said and I looked to him, plastering a smile on my face.

"Yes, it seems you don't have to worry about it." I said, winking at him. I smiled this one sadder. "I didn't know how he would react, and I don't suppose I should have told him this way but…I wanted him to know before I went into the arena that I was fighting for him." I admitted. Every word of it was true and that's probably what made the tear roll down my cheek.

The crowd awed and some shouted out. They could honestly relate to unrequited love. It was something that a lot of people went through. It did actually help me to know that I'd at least told him instead of letting it feaster. My heart actually felt lighter, cheerful even. It was defiantly better that I had said something instead of hiding away. At least this way, he knows that I love him and I don't have to worry about him not knowing when I died. I imagine it would've been worse for him if I had decided to tell him as someone was killing me in the arena.

"All-All right. Well, I think it's easy to say that we can _all _understand." Caesar said, laying his hand on my exposed knee. I smiled at him and leaned forward so I could speak, and it also got his hand off of my knee.

"I know, and that makes me feel better because I know that everyone will support me." I then turned serious. "But you mustn't blame Haymitch, because to be real, he didn't even know that I've loved him." I confessed.

"When _did _you fall in love with him? Not to offend you, Katfir, but he is a drunk, aged Victor." Caesar asked me. I rearranged my dress, not covering the skin but making sure that…the confidential files stay confidential.

"When I was younger, my father died in a mine collapse, as I've said before. The accident hadn't happened yet. I wanted to work in the mines, so that I could earn us the much needed money but the Peacekeeper knew I was too young to work in the mines." I said softly, with a light smile but on the inside I felt a fire of absolute loathing burning in my heart. I didn't want them to know about this, it was to personal, like asking how your sister got so injured that she can't even walk. It's for the best though, and hell with all of these cameras Haymitch is probably watching somewhere.

"Haymitch came out of nowhere. I was really young, and I didn't remember that he had won the Hunger Games the year before. He took me away from the mines," I neglected to put in that he took me away from being whipped. "And instead he offered to let me work as someone to clean for him, since he didn't trust the Avoxes. I didn't understand until I was around fifteen that I loved him. It was when I was cleaning in the morning time. I hadn't been eating, because I'd wanted to make sure that my sisters and my mother got enough food. Haymitch…he talked me into eating. He told me that no one wants to see me starve, and that he didn't want to see my ribs poking out of my shirt." I blinked.

Everyone was silent, listening to my tale. Caesar had sat back in his chair so that he could listen to me and I couldn't see in the mentor's box but I'm sure that by the number of shadows in it that Haymitch is there again, plus I can see the expression on his face from the many cameras staring at his face. It was an unreadable expression that took over his face. I couldn't know what it was he was thinking but all I knew was that he was still listening to me, so that had to be a good sign right, or was it that he wanted to see where he went wrong?

"I guess, when he sat me down to eat with him I realized that the little butterfly feelings in my stomach when I was around him were there because I was in love with him. It's been torture ever since because I'd think about telling him, but then something would come up. Honestly, I didn't think that I'd ever tell him but the reaping gave me the real courage to let him know that I couldn't live without him, but I want to live for him." I finished, smiling and using the handkerchief that Caesar had handed me before so that I could swipe at my eyes and my cheeks. I could see Haymitch face as it finally showed the sad expression on his face and a million thoughts flashed through my thoughts. I mean he could be sad for hundreds of different reasons. All of which seemed to be bad reactions.

I made my eyes turn away from the large picture of him that was hanging there. I instead turned to smile at Caesar. "And it doesn't matter if he doesn't return my feelings because I'd give my right hand to come back just so that I could see his face. That's why; I'm going to win the Hunger Games this year." I told him and as if the gamekeepers had some poetic justice, the bell for me to leave rung out. I heard the crowds scream in disappointment at my leaving but some were screaming at what they thought was a beautiful love story, or maybe they thought that it was a tragic story of a woman in love with a man who could never love her because he was in love with alcohol.

Who knew? These Capital people have to be the most confusing people I've ever met. I stood up from the chair and I smiled and exchanged a kiss on the cheek from Caesar and walked off the stage, still swishing my hips with that little kick that every male looks for.

When I stepped off of the stage and down the steps to the dry grey backstage hallway, I winced. All of the other tributes had left so I kicked off the heels. I'd worn them in my own life, but here they were killers. I actually remember them being killers in other worlds to. It was quite painful to walk on needle thin heels in shoes that give the same amount of support as an ex-boyfriend does to someone going through withdrawal.

I didn't have anyone waiting there for me except Effie. She was just staring at me open mouthed but I smiled at her. "I know, unexpected right? I hide my feelings better than you think, Effie." I told her, walking passed her, closing her mouth with a finger. I watched with her though as Peeta went up. The crowd was still riled up and Peeta was a good charmer. He got them laughing, and I have to admit to laughing when Caesar and him start sniffing each other for different smells. It's even more hilarious when Peeta tells the story of how we met. It was when I was five and everything was right in the world except Ginny Hunre thought Katniss' pittails were lopsided.

Peeta had come in telling Ginny that her dress made her look like a curtain. Peeta and I'd hit it off, but so had Katniss and Peeta. We were inseparable since then, except when the accident happened. Then Katniss wouldn't let Peeta look at her. It was all good for him until it came to that question that had boasted my cheers.

"So, we already know about your best buddies, love interest? What about it Peeta? You got a little lady waiting at home?" Caesar jokes. I watch, remembering what his father said. I hoped to God he didn't tell them that I was his love interest, because I wouldn't be able to look Peeta in the face again, and if it came down to it, I would never even be able to take his life. Not that the odds are looking to be in my favor right now either.

"Uh, yes actually I do." Peeta confesses. I swear that there was no movement coming from me at all. I think I'll go into Caridac Arrest if I have to hear my name from his lips.

"Oh, _Really_?" Caesar looks out to the crowd and raises his eyebrows.

"Yes. I wasn't going to say anything but…I think that Fir is right. I shouldn't go through the Hunger Games without telling someone. And since, I can't exactly talk to her before then, I can tell her this way." Peeta says. It takes me a second but I exhale loud enough that for a moment I think they could hear it on stage. But they haven't because they're to obsessed with Peeta right now.

"I'm in love with Katniss Everdeen." Peeta announces. I feel my heart plummet. For the first moment, I think he says my name because I admit Katniss and I have actually had trouble with that before but then I realize that his father had been off. Peeta was in love with my _sister. _I can't stop what comes out of my mouth.

"Holy Shit!" I whisper. I'm glad actually that I let it out then instead of later because then the cameras flicker to me. I can also see Peeta's anxious face. I weakly smile and hold up a thumb, giving him a thumps up. Hey, it was better than him loving me.

"Well, looks like you have the sister's support." Caesar teases him.

**Well, I have to say I'm a little disappointed with the lack of reviews I got for that last chapter. I was hoping that I would be flooded with reviews because it was such a key moment for the story. Since I got so few reviews I'm punishing you all! This short chapter is what you get! Haha! I was going to wait longer, in hopes that you would all review but alas my hopes and dreams were crushed viciously.**

**Oh, and that means, no I did not let life catch up to me XD. All though I was sorely tempted to. Anyways, I do have a life, and recently I've had no urge to write at all. I know, it's blasphemy for me to say such things but I guess I just drug it all out in my first stories, and now I have no enthusiasm left.**

**Okay, question per update before I start rambling. **

**What is the name and your opinion of the movie that you last saw?**

**I saw Snow White and the Huntsman. It was awesome acting from all of the actors. I had to see it twice though because the first time I ended up ignoring the plot so that I could stare at Chris Hemsworth. He is my newest celebrity crush! He was excellent in Thor and he was awesome in Avengers and even better in Snow White and the Huntsman. I was entranced by the accent because honestly I didn't think I was going to like it because I was sure it was going to be one of those over exaggerated ones, but I was wrong. Anyways, bye guys!**


	11. You're safe

For three whole seconds they focused on me as I gave the thumbs up. Then they shot back to Peeta. I don't think I want to hear anymore. Next thing you know he'll be telling them I've been hunting off the land and I'll be prosecuted.

"I'm going to leave for the apartments." I told Effie softly. She smiled at me and waved as I walked away. My bare feet made a padding sound on the ground as I made my way to the elevator. We never got to go anywhere in the Capital. We were forced into this same building. I only got to go to the training area and to the District 12 apartments. I rarely even got to go to the makeover center, where Cinna and the stylists worked on me.

As the elevator rose I could still see what was being said in Peeta's interview but I really didn't have to worry. He was only telling them a story about how much he loved Katniss and why. I wasn't from the Capital and I couldn't, with a good conscience, watch Peeta tell me something that wasn't my business. Plus, I rather liked Peeta and Katniss together. They'd be very happy loving each other or at least I hope that they would, see how if they ever met again I'd be dead.

Oh let's face it, that's not what I'm thinking about. How am I going to look at Haymitch in the face now? What if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore? What if he thinks that it was all for the press? What if he doesn't love me anymore? Did he ever love me? All of those moments where I was sure he was going to kiss me, that time after the re-aping, on the train, in my room, and right before the interview were they real or where they just me? Am I so stressed that I'm making these things up? He never made an advance before the re-aping so how could I be sure?

I couldn't I suppose. Haymitch is much deeper than other people seem to understand. He'd rather you think him a simpleton merely because then you've underestimated him. Most people haven't stuck around after meeting him for the first time. They don't understand how broken he is, they don't know that he drinks to get rid of the nightmares from the Hunger Games. They don't know that with every drink it erases the memory of the boys and girls that he's prepared to kill other people. They don't see him curled around a picture of his family that was killed simply because he outsmarted the caretakers during his games. They don't understand that he's so lonely that he fears anyone getting close enough to love him and then leave him.

True, it took me a long time to figure out why he did a lot of things but I do and they don't. What gives them the right to judge anything he does when they don't know him? I'm fuming just thinking about all the people who have looked at him and seen nothing but the surface.

As the elevator dinged, announcing my arrival back to the District 12 suite I rushed my way through the apartment and to my room. There was no way I was going to stay in the living quarters. That would mean I would actually have to stay and talk it all out with Haymitch. I can't do that, after that interview, after drawing on so much of my former self it's just in possible for me to do anything but sleep right now.

I slammed the door closed behind me and locked it. The room was as gorgeous and amazingly awe inspiring like the very first time I saw it but now I was too scared of my own shadow. I had to think of something else instead. What could I think about?

The Hunger Games.

I'd avoided it. I'd trained for the day, and forced myself to forget about the date. Tomorrow was the beginning of the Hunger Games wasn't it? Everything was coming to a head. Soon all of this anxiety was going to build into a few seconds of the cornucopia and then I'll have to go through the games. One year it lasted six months in total because the last two contestants were so good. Two years before that one, the twenty-third Hunger Games, it was all over in a matter of minutes because of the rush for the Cornucopia. What would be in the cornucopia? It's always something tempting, medical supplies, tents, food, water, weapons, always mounds and mounds of weapons.

They start with the least helpful and then as you get to the cornucopia it becomes more important. I can guarantee that all of the axes, if there even is any axes, will be smack dab in the middle and my twelve will mean that everyone will be weary, and coming after me. Oh, God, I didn't even think about that. The twelve could be my major downfall.

I shucked my dress and grabbed for something else, anything else. My hands landed on a pair of bright green pajamas that hung close to me. I tugged them on with no thought towards them.

I flopped on the bed, unprepared to think about all of this, my head was already hurting. To make it worse, I heard movement outside, in the living area, loud movement. I stayed as still as possible on my bed; subconsciously my lungs sucked in a deep breath and held it within themselves. I was rewarded with loud talking, slams and heavy footfalls.

"Leave her alone!" Effie shouted, it's all I could make out of the voices that were all speaking.

"Haymitch!" Peeta's voice sounded with a chorus from what I believe is Cinna, Portia, and my stylist's voices. Their exclamation was followed by a resounding thud against my door that forced my body to jump. It was loud, and closer than I thought they were. I put my hand over my mouth and forced air in and out through my nose as I listened carefully. The group was still trying to persuade Haymitch to do something, leave me alone I suppose but I couldn't be sure from here.

Suddenly, "Shut the hell up!" Haymitch screamed over all of them. "Why don't take a foot and shove it up your ass. This is between me and her, not you!" There was a silence both in my head and from the people standing in the hall. I was paralyzed all over. How could I possible respond to that? He was angry; I could tell but was it from my confession? Am I stupid? It has to have been from my confession what else could it possibly have been from? The fucking rain?

I felt my breath starting to speed up again as I panicked. What was wrong with me? Stress is what is wrong with me.

"Katfir, open up!" Haymitch shouted but I didn't move an inch. I shouldn't have done what I did. I should have just gone through the interview without saying more than two words like Thresh did. I wouldn't be in this situation if I hadn't have had that little thought. "Katfir!" He shouted but I could only flinch away farther from the door. I heard shuffling and then the sound of a scuffle. I rose to a sitting position in worry, what the hell was going on now?

The tension finally got to me. I couldn't stop my body as I hesitantly rose from my lying postion and padded to the door, passing my abandoned high heels along the way. I placed my hand on the door knob and hesitated. Did I really want to face this? What if Haymitch said he was disgusted by me?

What if I never know? It's already gnawing at me now, how would I stand it if I died in that ring not knowing if he loved me? How would I live when I came back alive and he didn't love me? How would I know if I needed to try to stay alive or not? Everyone can live without me but what do I have to live for? Who has stayed by me since he met me? Haymitch.

But I don't think I could deal with it, just knowing now that there is even a chance he could not love me back is killing me. No, no I wouldn't tell him. I'd avoid him as much as possible, which I can't get pretty far doing. So far I know what's going to happen tomorrow. First I would be taken a way by the guards and then guided into a chamber where I'll be washed down and checked for any serious injuries, or medical problems. Then Cinna will help me change into the outfit that I will be wearing for my entire…stay at the arena.

I moved back from the door and ducked for the bed, ignoring the speaking outside, which was slowly going farther away from my room until I couldn't hear the raised voices. Instead I sat back on the bed, less crazy then before but even more tired then before. I sighed and pulled the covers out. I'd get a bath in the morning, or maybe I'd even wait and I could just let the stylists do it, since let's face it it probably won't be just one bath, just like the last few times I've been down there.

I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands. I was hopeless, but I'm going to forget it for now. I need sleep, a real and truly deep sleep because there really isn't going to be any time to sleep in the arena if I want to stay alive. I'll probably have to find a few holes in the ground, if the arena has holes for all I know it's got nothing there but a dessert, like the 23rd games.

I tugged the blankets over me and sighed. This was going to be so horrible, even being me…other self there was no way that I could possibly be sure that I was going to win, but I believe I have a chance. I don't know if I will even be capable of using them, because I have to be truthful, the only ting that I could possibly use, while in this human form is remember, and possibly call on a few lesser things, for example the high heels.

I was lucky to be able to hide my scar, but that won't hide it for to long. I know that my magic like this usually last long but if I get injured to badly the magic will break and lets face it these games will cause me to get injured massively.

I sighed and sat up from my laying position. I couldn't not think about it. How could I when my life was going to be on the line in such a limited amount of time? Ugh…I threw the blankets away from my legs and walked to the door. Hesitantly I opened it a little. I glanced around, but no one was outside. I slipped out of the door and towards the elevator, being cautious about my noises and my walking. I pasted by Peeta's room but to my surprise the door was open. I peeked inside of the grand doors, but the room almost matched my own, expect for the satin sheets, his were blue while my room was grey. The bathroom wasn't going, and the door was open to that as well so I curiously walked farther into the living area.

No one is there, thankfully, but I'm still curious about where Peeta could have gone. It's very late, way past time to eat I believe and there aren't many places he could have gone. My bright green eyes caught on the elevator doors and I wavered a moment and my eyes trailed to the door that led to the emergency stairs except the doors were being propped open. I walked silently over to the doors and I opened them, walking in. The walls of the stairs were the same shiny black metal that the rest of the building was made of. I looked around, but I couldn't figure out why he would go downstairs, but why would there be an up? If we're District 12 then shouldn't this be the last floor?

So carefully walked up the black. Almost see through glass and I was cautious even with what I consider my small weight that I might fall through the glass if I pressed down to hard. There was a twirl to the steps, and I was surprised because there has to be at least fifteen steps here, maybe its to get over the high ceiling. Finally I arrived at a plain black wooden door. I paused, thinking for a moment of going back to my room and trying to force sleep on me but there was no way I could go to that depressing room surrounded by only my thoughts and worries.

I tugged on the door and it came open with a slight creek to it. I opened it fully and to my surprise I was at the roof and not another room. I look around and it's made of tile, guards around the edges with a shocking electrical fence, keeping any desperate people from jumping over the edge of this tall building and splattering our guts onto the pavement in a way to get out of the tournament.

Right at the edge is my best friend, Peeta sitting close to the fence so that he could look down on the ruckus that was going on in the crazy neon colored streets of the Capital. I could even see the colored lines of the streets that were farther out in the city. He hadn't seen me and its dark enough out here that had the lights from down in the street not been there he would have been nothing but a shadow. I walked farther out into the roof before I stopped to think this over. Racking my mind for a reason not to speak with him, the lights hit Peeta's blonde hair for a moment and I suddenly felt like my sister was the luckiest girl in the world.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping Peeta?" I teased him. He turned surprised and I smiled at him. Walking closer to him I managed to sit down on the ledge right next to him. He was wearing his pajamas, something I had neglected before. Peeta laughed a little bit as well.

"Shouldn't you?" Peeta mocked right back. I grinned at him but there was nothing we could do. There is so much hanging over us, and I couldn't even express how much I needed to tell him, my best friend. I guess it's just going to be shoved out there.

"I don't know which of us is going to win but I want you to know something Peeta…" I muttered to him, straight to the point and meaningful. I placed my hand on his arm and squeezed it to get my point across. "You've been my best friend for a long time and I want you to know that, I want you to know I've treasured our friendship." I told him. Peeta looked straight in to my eyes and I tried my hardest to remember the blue of his eyes and the high cheekbones of his face.

"You aren't…mad?" Peeta tentatively asked me as he shyly ducked his head a bit.

"For what?" I inquired of him.

"For…me loving your sister?" Peeta asked me, glancing up at my eyes.

"Of course not." I said, snorting at him. "Well," I conceded. "I'm kind of just glad that it wasn't me you were in love with." I laughed at his expression as it looked both uncomfortable and disturbed.

"Um, I-I don't, I'm sorry…" Peeta tried to stutter out, making me laugh hysterically.

"Relax Peeta, I'm not insulted or anything." I shooed away his concern and decided teasing was funnier. "Besides as thankful as I am for you, and as handsome as you are, I do not really see you as someone to love." I grinned at him and he grinned at me and for a moment my mind flashed back in time to all of those days at school, learning about mining, and the history of Panem. Back then things were hard, but much simpler then now. Peeta was the only one who would talk to me, what with Katniss stuck at home and Prim in a different class then me. I hardly ever talked to any one besides Peeta.

Peeta's expression now is weird like it's a mixture between sadness and displeasure or should I just go ahead and say loathing. "Katfir…" Peeta starts and only by his expression I can tell that whatever he's about to say isn't going to like him very well at all. "Do you think it was right? What you did?" Peeta asks me. I was right; I didn't like it at all.

"I…" I started and then sighed. "It was a cowards way out but…I don't want to see him because if I see him face to face and he doesn't love me back then…I don't think I would have tried to come back at all. Peeta, Haymitch is my everything, as corny as it is." So solemn was that statement that now it was my turn to look down at the streets below us where all of the people were still going strong. I wonder what they are celebrating. Surely they aren't celebrating the death of twenty-four people? I mean most of the careers want nothing but to be in the Hunger games but some of us don't want to die for other people entertainment.

"I guess I understand." Peeta muttered. We were silent for a minute and then he sighed. "It was kind of cowardly of me to not tell Katniss to her face." Peeta smiled half-heartedly but I couldn't blame him for this because it was all sad and really horrible for us. I know Peeta comes from a higher standing in District 12 and I come from the Seam but I pretty much doubt that it's that much better seeing as no one in District 12 is that well off.

"Yeah, but is it really being a coward? I like to pretend that it's just a better way of motivating me to come back so I can find out if he does love me." I admitted to him, smiling at him. He looked at me and smiled softly to.

"If he doesn't love you – then there really is something messed up in his brain." He told me and touched my shoulder. I looked down at the people and screwed up my face as I saw some of the crazy people of the Capital. "Are they in costumes?" Peeta asked me curiously.

"To me it looks like they're always wearing costumes." I joked. Peeta chuckled at my joke but it was short lived. I looked at him, really taking in the shadows under his eyes and the worry lines that have developed on what used to be a young man's face. "What is it Peeta?" I asked him. He snorted.

"I was never a real contender of the Hunger Games." Peeta said, and then he waved away any protests I tried to say. "I can't do anything like you can. I'm not good with an axe and I can't survive on my own. The only thing I'm good at is camouflage or maybe climbing, from going upstairs…" Peeta rambled, criticizing himself horribly. Some times I think that Peeta and I are similar in that way but Peeta doesn't have a reason to hate himself.

"Peeta, you are good enough for this." I told him seriously, scooting close enough that our knees touched each other at the shins. "You've got your strength, and camouflage is a big asset, it means you can hide wherever you are. If I'm not in a forest I doubt I'll make it past the first hour, much less the cornucopia." I admitted and every word was true of course. I don't know anything about other terrains. There are a few rocky parts outside of District 12 but not enough if there weren't any trees. Any snowy terrain might be okay because it snows a great deal in District 12. I know how to look for roots under the snow and even boil the snow, if I manage to get something that will make fire. Any other terrain I haven't encountered, though we've read about the basics, like the oceans, and the place south of us where it's hot and there are no summers.

"Maybe, but I don't know if I can…do it." Peeta muttered, and fumbled over his last wording. I felt bad for him but for myself as well. I highly doubt if I can take a life, even if 'technically' I've taken lives plenty of times, when I'm not human. It's always hard, because I know that if I had not killed them then they might have had a life. But I'm going to hope that this will be better, because it doesn't matter who it is that kills them because either way they won't live long enough to get out of the arena. All but one of us has to go and as horrible as it is, I'm hoping it's me that comes out a live. If I do…die though, I hope Peeta wins. Maybe if we have another winner in the District we won't be so poor. We'll get more capital favor and then they'll clean up the ridiculously primitive working conditions.

"I don't know if I can either." I muttered, the people down below us were still going strong, and the ruckus they were making was even reaching us up here. I don't know whether a parade was happening or it was just a group of people having a party. Either way they must have been having a wonderful time down there with no worries, no wondering if tomorrow they were going to have to worry about whether they'll get to eat or whether they'll find shelter for the night, and if they were going to be killed in the next second. "But if I can't…I won't miss these Capital people. They have no sense of fear, no sense of living." I muttered. If I looked straight down then I could see the golden roadway that we rode in by. It was just a strip now, but a glittering strip with silver lining it. It reminded me that to these people it's a game, not a massive killing of twenty four children, some of which haven't even known what the world's about.

"I won't go down without a fight, so I'm sure when the time comes I can…kill." He hesitated but the determined look in his eyes made it clear that he had a strong conviction to come out of this. "Only I keep wishing that…I could show the Capital that I wasn't some piece in their games, that I'm my own person." He muttered. I smiled at him, yes me and Peeta defiantly had some similarities.

"If there was a way to do that, I would try to do it, just to see the looks on their faces when for once everything doesn't go as they plan them to." I nodded at him. He grinned at me. "But the Capital, sadly does own me." I muttered, picking at the bottom of my clothes. "I've got to protect my mom, and my two sisters." I noted. Peeta winced and sighed.

"I don't think my parents would mind so much." Peeta sarcastically said. "Hardly anything about me makes them unhappy." I couldn't deny. The Baker was a good guy but his wife…she keeps a tight leash on the father, and beats Peeta any chance she gets. That's usually what the Seam ends up turning families into, if they aren't to busy trying to scrap together a living they're fighting amongst each other.

"They'd be sad, and hey maybe your Mom will finally see what she's been doing to you all of these years. But Peeta, if I don't make it…" I hated to think of that alternative but it was there and something that I had to think of. "And you do, please just…take care of my family, please?" I asked him.

"If you do it when you win." Peeta told me seriously. I nodded and we fell into a comfortable, foreboding silence that surrounded us, if not suffocated us. This anticipation made me wants to go ahead and cut the skin off of my arm, just so that it'll start. Why should I have to wait when I know that I'm going to have to go through something that I have never wanted to do? This situation has all just taken over my mind and it wasn't getting better.

I just hope that I don't go insane in the arena. There was a guy like that a few years ago, maybe on the 62nd game. He spent three nights stuck in a cave with no lights, and no food or water. When he got out he went on a rampage managing to kill six tributes before the victor took him finally took him down with the help of what I suspect was the help of the capital. There are no rules in the arena, but there are things that go unspoken. For one you don't try to eat people, and you have to give a good show. Second of all, you don't get to take your life, even if it's over your brother who was also picked as a tribute. It's unspoken rules but those are pretty much all of it.

Peeta sighed and heaved himself from the ledge, holding out a hand to me, so that I could do the same. I took his hand and squeezed before letting him pull me up. "I think bed sounds like a good idea right now." Peeta remarked before he let go of my hand and started toward the door. I didn't follow him.

"Actually I think I'm just going to stay up here for a little longer, you know to think out some things that I won't have the time to think about in the arena." I said. He opened the door but I caught him. "Peeta," He turned towards me. "She loves you to. I just thought that maybe you should know." I told him. He grinned at me before stepping into the door, and closing it behind him with a solid thump. I sat back down delicately on the ledge.

I don't think I could go back to the room. Of course, I'd probably have more of a chance of sleeping if I went there instead of staying here but the fresh air and the slight breeze made me feel light and happier then being inside the room, even if there was a hologram of a forest in my room to keep me calm, it's just not the same as the real forest. It doesn't carry the scent of nature or the crunch of freshly fallen leaves.

I breathe in but just as in the room, it wasn't the clear scent of nature in my nostrils but the wind strangely enough carried a completely unique, artificial scent. That's when it came to me that maybe everything in this place really was artificial. I sighed, because bed probably sounds better now. I rose from my seat and I silently looked out over the horizon, just one big city, no forest, no ocean just city. How can these people stand this? I turned around, tugging my pajamas away from where the cloth caught on the stone like qualities of the ledge. But when I looked up my heart leapt into my throat.

"Haymitch?"

**All right. It's been a while hasn't it? I know, as a reader as well as a writer, how irritating it is when the author doesn't update for so long that you've either forgotten the story line, or you've lost interest in the story itself. Haha. I'm having some trouble adjusting recently, and I don't think my grandmother is doing to well, she has cancer. I also want you guys to know that I'm trying to buckle down and write these, though they aren't easy to write and it takes me a while to write them I'm feeling a little 'better'. By that I mean, I'm getting some of my mojo back and I'm starting to be able to write.**

**I find it helps if I play the show, The Nanny in the background. Thankfully all of the seasons are on youtube! XD I've also replaced all of the pictures in this new picture thing in fanfiction with pictures for the stories! I can't wait to get out what comes next. It might not seem to important to you guys but the chapter **_**after **_**the next is what I saw when I saw the movie. It's the whole reason I decided to write something about the Hunger Games.**


	12. Noone will find you

He didn't look well. He looked like death was coming early. He had bags under his blue and silver eyes, which no longer sparkled. His hair was oily, most likely from running his fingers through his hair. He still had the purple and blue outfit on from during the interviews but now it was wrinkled and scrunched up. Haymitch's tie was not only unfurled and uneven but the waistcoat was unbuttoned along with the shirt. I could see the hair on his chest and the scars there. His hand was bandaged, and for a split second I felt guilt because I hoped to God that the bandaged hand wasn't fault.

His skin was pasty but I'm sure the paleness of my skin was probably worse, seeing as how all of my blood was now working to keep my heart pounding. I felt light headed at Haymitch's sudden arrival. How long was he there? Not long surely, because Peeta was just here and I hadn't seen him then. The silence that surrounded us was tense and pumped full of anticipation for someone to say something but I couldn't bring myself to say anything, I'd already said enough, hadn't I? I'm positive that there was nothing I could say to make this better without lying and I can't lie to him, not now.

"Your door was open." Haymitch stated, breaking the silence that rooted me to the metal floor beneath my feet. It wouldn't surprise me if Haymitch had just walked forward and pushed me over the edge, I surely wouldn't have blamed him. In fact I kind of wanted him to.

I didn't say anything.

"I went in, and you weren't there." Haymitch took two steps closer to me, and the closer he got the more details I could see. He had stubble lining his broad jaw and his eyes were an unnatural wide for a reason that I couldn't figure out. I stood my ground, not because I have courage but more because I have no room to step back. Again, I said nothing and just waited.

"You left the door propped open, so I figured you were here." Haymitch said, and waited for me to say anything but I couldn't bring myself to open my mouth to say anything about what I knew he was trying to get me to talk about. I just couldn't do it, not until he did first. Haymitch of course realized this because he stepped forward and kept going until he was directly in front of me with only two or three inches of open air separating us. I had to crane my head to meet his eyes. My fists curled and uncurled in waiting horror.

"Did you mean it?" He whispered to me so soft that I could barely hear it. I sucked in a shaky breath that rattled my lungs it was so deep. I opened my mouth to answer with something but nothing would come out. Nothing but air and hope left my body. His face screwed up in an emotion that I couldn't decide if it was anger or desperation. "Katfir, tell me." He ordered and I watched his eyes dilated.

"Yes," I blurted out in one go. "I meant it." I said and I shuffled back as far as I could go, until the back of my knees were pressed against the ledge that had previously been a place of good memories. Haymitch's face went blank, just like during the interview. I winced and glanced at the door. What was the likely hood that I could make it there before Haymitch's grabbed me? Not good. So I went with the only other thing my body could do, I rambled.

"I'm sorry that I said in front of a crowd of people but I'm a coward and I-I wanted you to know before…" I shuttered. "And I knew I would get a good response from the people. I understand that you don't feel the same, I'm younger then you I know and there's no reason for you to like me because I'm horrible. I'll probably die tomorrow anyways, so what's the use in telling me that you don't love me. Let's just act like it never happened and everything will go back to normal and neither of us will experience any kind of discomfort. It's a great way to just put it-" And then something amazing, excellent, speechless-inducing happened.

Haymitch wove his large arms around me and tugged me to him so that every curve of his body met mine like pieces to a puzzle that were made to fit together and never come apart. I shut my mouth but it didn't prepare me for when he ducked his head and pressed his gorgeous lips, which I had fantasized about for years, against my own and kissed me.

My mind was blank, I couldn't think of anything at all during this magnificent and life changing moment, but my lips were not frozen. They managed, in my brains absence, to move against Haymitch's and kiss him back completely and without hesitation. I did hesitate on running my hands up to tangle them in his hair but my reward for my daring was Haymitch taking his hands off of my waist and placing them on my ass to lift me up to fit so well to him that I felt like a puddle that had met another one, just to make a larger more colorful and awe inducing pond.

A puddle of goo is more what I felt like. Just the sensation of Haymitch all around me started a kind of heat inside of me that I'd felt so rarely, and so deeply. I ran on instinct as I drug both of my legs up his and wrapped them neatly around his waist and dug my hand deeper in to Haymitch's hair, while the other dropped to his cheek as something wet and very wanted ran along my lips. I opened my mouth and Haymitch's tongue swopped in to ravage my mouth. The feeling was indescribable except it made the heat that was flooding through my body pool in my female area.

Regretfully Haymitch retracted his mouth, so that both of us could breath. I didn't allow my body to part with Haymitch's instead I leant my forehead against his. What could I possibly take from that? I-It meant that he feels the same way right? Or does it mean he was just taking pity on me?

"Haymitch…" I muttered and Haymitch kissed me again, just soft, quick peeks to my lips but they were enough so that every time his lips even brushed mine the fire in my belly sparked higher. I tugged in short breaths and tried to focus on breathing.

"I wouldn't forget your confession for the world." Haymitch's voice came out husky, deep and heat spike inducing. I groaned a kind of sound that I couldn't possibly have reproduced if not now. My breath hitched and I gasped.

"Y-You mean it Haymitch?" I pulled my head back just enough to look into his eyes. I didn't want him to lie to me. I know that I probably didn't deserve it, seeing as I confessed on television where all people of the Districts, and everyone in the Capital were forced (or in the capital's case wanted) to watch. "You don't mind that I did it on television?" I asked him and almost regretted it. Why did I ask? What if it ruins it?

"You had the courage to tell everyone that you are in love with me and I couldn't even tell you on a train when you asked for me to." Haymitch stated simply before he adopted a silly grin that I swear I've never seen anywhere on his face before. He kissed me again, melting our lips together and God that fire was going to kill me soon if I didn't get it appeased. Again the fight for air separated us.

"I'm glad one of us sees it that way." I noted, and then laughed because this was so magical. To be truthful I didn't even think about this option in what Haymitch choses. It's always been…he didn't love me that I thought it would be. I have to admit it was the most logical of the choices. Haymitch's eyebrow wrinkled and he frowned.

"Sweetheart, I love you." He told me, and my breath caught again. My heart pounded, trying to get out of my chest and into his. I couldn't tell whether I was going to make it through his confession or not. Please let this be his confession. "Any woman, who will take care of a drunk who is stuck in the memories of the past is a wonderful woman. A woman who falls in love with someone who has killed other kids in his youth, is a wonderful woman. A woman who falls in love with somebody whose both is someone that I could love any day, especially when I know you're in love with me too." Haymitch grinned at me. I laughed and squeezed my legs around him. I heard him groan, deep and low. I couldn't figure out why until I realized something was…poking me in a special kind of way in a special place.

I gulped and I'm sure my face flushed with embarrassment. In all serisousness, had I been standing my legs would have buckled already but that's okay, because I wasn't standing, Haymitch was supporting me with his arms around me and my legs were around him. I don't think I could be any happier then this moment right here where Haymitch was in love with me and…turned on by me. I giggled shamelessly. "I love you Haymitch." I breathed before I pushed my lips to him, and pressed as close as possible so that every part of me aligned with the man in my grasp.

The kisses were magnificent and I couldn't bring myself to part because everything seemed so right, and like all my previous worries about him had never happened. For once my problems just floated away and as Haymitch fumbled with the door to the stairs I didn't have second thoughts about loving Haymitch. I marveled, somewhere in my brain that wasn't focused on the feeling of Haymitch's large hand creeping up in to my pajama shirt, that was thin at best, that Haymitch had the needed strength to hold me up for as long as he had.

He stumbled down the stairs, keeping one hand on the provided railing so he didn't fall. The entire time his lips were on my skin, on my lips, on my face, on my neck and even on my collarbone. I tugged the tie away from his shirt and left it to stay on the stairs behind us.

My hands were shaking and I was nervous. At school, there was a mandatory class that told you all about…everything to do with this. I thought at the time it was just so the capital has a way of making sure that we know how to make babies for them to work to death. Now, I don't know what more to think past, thank God they taught me what to do.

"Sweetheart," Haymitch muttered, and he backed me up against the wall right next to the door that leads to the District 12 rooms. "I've got to make sure no one sees us." He muttered, and sadly I unclenched my tight hold on his waist and dropped my feet down to the ground. The feeling of the cold and hard floor on the bottoms of me feet shocked me, because I hadn't expected it, of course I wasn't actually thinking about how the floor would feel on my feet. What I was thinking about was Haymitch, and how to get more of him.

I watched as he slid away from me and to the open door. He pushed it open and waited. I held my breath dying to hear that there was no one there because Haymitch loved me, and well….that is pretty much all my brain is capable of understanding right now. I just want to...show him how much I loved him because for all of my faults Haymitch still loved me for me, and that meant that I could love him without fearing whether he would love me to.

And now, I had to leave him, after tonight I was going into that arena and well…I don't want to die never having made sure that Haymitch knew how much I loved him! I was probably being sappy but in this moment, or any moment that I was thinking about the man who was religiously scanning the place, I couldn't think of anything that wasn't sappy or just inappropriate to say.

Haymitch looked back at me, his eyes shining now and I couldn't even see any of the imperfections that had been there not even minutes ago. He raised his hand out to me in invitation. I grabbed his hand and grinned widely at him, because I was just so in love with the man in front of me that it was as if I was shedding all the worries, the self doubt, and even the apprehension I felt about the arena. All I could focus on was showing this man that I loved him even if I didn't ever make it back out of the Hunger Games. Before I go, and there is a chance, I don't want to die a virgin.

I followed Haymitch as he pulled me across the empty living quarters. I followed him closely as he pulled me into his room, which looked just like all of the other bedrooms I'd seen. I sucked in a breath and kissed him until we fumbled to the bed.

**All right, what do you guys think? I was pretty satisfied. I wasn't overly enthused about it but I didn't hate it exactly. I tried to make it obvious through out the story that Haymitch very much loved her to. I was going to have it where she didn't talk to him until the end and then they have a rushed moment before she gets in the hovercraft. **

**But, seeing as she is going into the Hunger games and Haymitch will get zero time during that, I thought I'd draw it out and then give you a whole love confession and then some….allusion to lemon. ;D**


	13. Your fears are far behind you

The bed sheets were warm under my body and the soft, cushy comfort kept the warmth of both Haymitch and I trapped in the huddle of clothe so that it could warm our bodies. I breathed in the scent of Haymitch, and myself. The night we had just spent together had just made my life. It was amazing and I could never forget it. Haymitch, a drunk Victor would seem like a violent lover, but…Haymitch was so caring, and well…delicious. I grinned to myself. I'd gotten some sleep; after we'd….I giggled breathlessly and glanced behind me.

Curled behind me, pressed against my back and holding me close to him was Haymitch. I shivered in delight to be wrapped in his arms. All those years, dreaming about this moment, and it was even better then I thought. I never thought about the ticklish feeling of his soft breath on the back of my neck, the snores that came out of his mouth were actually lulling in it's sound. His tough, muscular arms around my stomach, keeping me pressed against his front. I could feel his hair brushing my shoulder and his legs tangled together with my own legs.

I'd woken up this morning in this same position and I'd considered just staying in this one moment forever, because right now is a dream come true. My favorite fantasy was always that I would end up with Haymitch and wouldn't have to worry about my family dying. Right now, I didn't have to worry about my family and Haymitch was in love with me.

Now I just have to deal with the Hunger games. That's right today is the day that I go into the arena to fend for my life. Now though, I don't have to wonder if Haymitch loves me. I can fight to come back to him, my family, and to the life we're all going to have. It's not like I didn't have a reason before but now everything just seems…sweeter than last night did. Maybe I was being overdramatic before with basing my life just around Haymitch's reaction? It doesn't matter now. I just now that I've got to make it back so that I can see where life takes me. Though, life probably won't take me many places if I'm in District 12.

There are very limited opportunities there. You either go to the mines or if you're a girl you stay back and try and find jobs as cleaning for the richer. If your lucky you'll become part of the merchants, selling bread, like Peeta and his family does is something you pass on to the family. So mostly you have to be extremely lucky, and born into it. Rarely, if ever, you can get the job of mayor, which is the best job to get because your money comes exactly from the Capital, and you're paid to keep quiet.

What kind of life is that? The only good part about it might be that you don't have many responsibilities at all. You only get up and go to work and do your job, come home and worry over how you're going to feed yourself and your family. That's been my life, except I don't go to work, I go hunt to get money and I hunt to feed my family. Now, if I get back from the Hunger Games then I can feed my family, myself, and even the whole of District 12.

When a victor wins, their District gets supplied with better things, more food, more money, more technology, more homes, and even _better _built homes. Maybe if I win, it'll be the end of the Seam and then everyone can have enough money to live. To see no more of those starving kids on the side of the road, their parents having abandoned them because they couldn't feed them…it just weakens the heart. I don't care how heartless someone is, if you see a baby, not even a year old, abandoned on the street you'll feel the pain of guilt that you're living even just a small bit better than them. At least Mom had had money at one point.

She used to be part of the merchant district, but then she met my father and fell in love with him. Dad had been from the Seam and poor but Mom loved him, despite what Mom's parents told her.

I glanced over at Haymitch, his face close to mine as I refused to move out of his warm embrace. I just wanted to turn and snuggle into his arms, but if I was caught in here, nude and in bed with an equally clothes less Haymitch, I can imagine that it'll all be over then.

So I gently unhooked Haymitch's arms from around me. I don't know about a sober Haymitch, but when Haymitch usually sleeps he sleeps heavily. Maybe, he'll sleep that way now. I didn't want to wake him, and have a sad, horrible good bye because that would only break my newly swelled heart. I want our last memories of each other, if I don't make it back, to be of the night we shared and not some tearful good bye that he'd see over and over again if I died.

I delicately, cautiously crawled off of the mattress and froze when Haymitch began to move. I watched him with prudent eyes and held my breath, expecting him to just open those gorgeous eyes and ruin my plan. I guess that wouldn't be to horrible seeing as he shattered my old plan of avoiding him until I went into the games.

Alas, he didn't awaken, only turned over to sprawl along the length of the bed. I waited another minute, to make sure he fell into a peaceful, and deep, sleep before I moved. I started tugging on all of my clothes, researching the damage that had been done during the night. Nothing seen to torn, or ravaged but I wouldn't be in them long, just long enough to get from Haymitch's room to mine. I tugged on my pajamas, what I had been wearing, and shuffled to the door but just as I placed my hand on the knob I hesitated.

Turning, I watched Haymitch. This man, I had fallen in love with him over such a long stretch of time, but it had escalated quickly. I suppose it kind of had to. Haymitch and I didn't have a lot of time, and the future is unknown right now, but every part of me was determined to win this demented game, even if I have to…cheat.

Plus, I kind of think it's something Haymitch and I have in common, this need to give each other all we have. I know I can't just, ease into loving someone now. When I fall in love….it's fast and swift. Giving someone my whole heart first isn't the best plan but I can't help the way my heart feels for Haymitch. He deserved loving, and my heart loved him. And, he loved me. He'd told me plenty of times last night, until I felt it raidiating through out my entire being.

Now I knew Haymitch loved me and I don't think my heart could swell any more than it had all ready.

I shook myself and backed away from the bed, this time turning the knob and glancing out the door. It was still dark in the living area, no lights on or shadows big enough to be a human. Of course with these Capital people you could never tell what were plants or pieces of furniture and what was them. I hadn't seen such weirdly dressed people since I'd left Underland. I tip-toed out of the room, desperate to get to the other end of the hall without getting caught and I made it all the way to my own room. I suppose I wasn't really that different, unless you looked close. If you looked close up enough you'd see how disheveled my hair was, how my lips were swollen, and the slight limp in my step.

I closed the door softly, not forgetting that they'd probably hear the door close if I did it to loud. I glanced in my room and sighed. It seemed so cold now, not that it had seemed so loving before. I could still see the forest illusion on the wall. These people were so advanced; sometimes I swear this realm is like a mix of the old people, and a mix of the future people.

I hadn't thought about it in a while, since it happened, but I'm a little scared about going into the realm as I am. What if I…change? I've thought about this before haven't I? What does it really matter? I've got to go anyway.

I sighed and shuffled towards the showers. Soon, the people would come, I could tell by the time blaring from the electrical powered clock beside the bed. I took extra care to pick the specifications of the shower, because this could be the last one I ever had. I made sure to wash everything until even my skin was red from rubbing it with the wash cloth. I smelt strongly of vanilla, something I probably wouldn't find in the arena, where ever it was.

I was slowly coming down from my high as I realized how much trouble I still faced. I didn't even know what I was going up against in the arena. The Capital could supply us with anything or nothing even. I think I remember them doing that one year, sending them in with nothing in the Cornucopia but useless toothpicks. I stepped out of the shower and placed my hands on the rod waiting there in a fashion that I was becoming used to, and it scared me. I don't know if I want to get used to this kind of life, because even though it's something I'd get if I became a victor. But I also wouldn't have to worry about getting too used to this life when I'd be dead if I don't become a victor.

Walking into the closet that was waiting as always I looked around for something easy to slip off. I shouldn't have this outfit on for long because the stylists would prepare me for the arena in anyway they could. Every year they give the tributes a uniform to wear and a look that is decorated by the stylists in an attempt to gain last minute support from anyone who was willing to give some money. I knew that the Districts, if they had enough money, and they often didn't, could sponsor a tribute and get them something in the games. Not that, I believe District 12 will. They may have made the sign of respect for me, but no one in District 12 will have enough money for something as expensive as sponsoring. Some of the Capital people don't even have sponsor money.

I grabbed onto a black shirt and looked in the mirror but I startled when I saw marks on my skin. What are those? I moved closer to the mirror and then my face flushed. Those must be 'love bites'. I've never had one before…but to e honest I haven't done anything like last night before either. I brushed the sensitive skin and shivered. For a little while longer I could have something physical to remind me of the wonderful night I had.

I tugged on the black shirt, simple with sleeves and a high enough collars. The marks were pretty low so unless I have to undress I should be all right. It's not that I should hide them. Maybe if they do see them then they'll get even more bolstered. But this, it's something I don't know if I'm all right with sharing. Since I've come to the Capital almost everything I've done has been on display, maybe not to the public but to the gamekeepers for sure. I'm also positive that there are cameras in here, because sometimes during the Hunger Games they show clips of things that we've done inside. I tugged on some loose fitting jeans made with a fine silk fabric.

I stepped out of the closet and to my bed. I suppose getting some more sleep now would be a good idea. I don't know if it would really help seeing as most of my night has already been spent awake. I fell into bed anyways, tucked out.

It seemed like only minutes later I was awakened by a banging on my door. My brain was still fuzzy and my moments sluggish as I stumbled to the door to answer it. I blearily looked out to see a group surrounding my door, Effie, Peeta, Cinna, and the three stylists. I can just see Haymitch spread out on the couch that faced my door directly but his mouth was smug, and his eyes were glittering. He looked better by miles. His natural tan was back, and he'd obviously let someone dress him up in his black and white outfit. I thought it was fitting since it matched my dress of last night. I could just see a little red tint at the ends of his jacket, and a grey in his shoes.

I smiled at everyone pleasantly. I know my eyes must have glittered and my smile had probably been large enough to classify it as a grin. All of my worries disappeared again for a little while at just the sight of Haymitch.

"Yes?" I asked them. My head was getting clearer and now I can remember that for all they know I was going to try and stay cooped up in here until they had to get the Avoxes to get me out. I vaguely thought of Hade. I hadn't seen him since that night but I wasn't sure I should. Finally I had gotten closure, and though he was virtually a slave, he was also alive and relatively safe in his job, or so I hope.

They all stood there, cautious, even Peeta. I'm sure he thought that I was going to stay inside of my room as well. "It's time to go." Cinna said, pushing into the room ahead of the others who were in front of him at the time. He closed the doors in their face and turns to me, smiling. "I think what you did was very brave." He confessed, smiling comfortingly at me, but I didn't need his comfort.

"I'm fine." I told him, instead of telling him about last night. Why should I have to tell him what happened? Even though I consider Cinna my friend, I've also only known him for a few months, and I've only spent dinners with him really.

"Okay," He doesn't question me, and I'm glad that he understands that I don't want to talk about it, even if it's for an entirely different reason then what he thinks it is. "Then slip into this." He handed me a white, plain outfit. It's more fit to be seen in District 12, if it were black, and not here in the fancy world of the Capital. I don't find the need to head into the bathroom. Cinna's seen every part of me that there is to know. I don't think, until I've slipped on the white pants and shirt he handed me, about the marks Haymitch left. Cinna doesn't say anything but I can see the amusement in his eyes. I refuse to comment.

"All right." He opened the door to my room and hustled me out. No one is there, but I don't get a moment to realize any thing because Cinna is pushing me over to the stairs, and pushing me farther up them until I reach the roof. I pushed open the door and walked onto the roof. I hovercraft, a massive and bulky aircraft that uses air to move, awaits me there. I imagine it's to take me to the catacombs, where the final preparations will take place.

Haymitch is standing with Effie off to the side because they don't get to come with us, only the tributes and their stylists get to come. I couldn't keep my eyes off of Haymitch, his silver orbs looking at me was all I could see. I wish I could have given him a proper good bye but I'm not complaining. This way, I may not be distracted in the arena by good byes and my many promises to come back, both to others and to myself. Forcefully I dragged my eyes away from him and I looked to the Capital people who came from the hovercraft. They wore bland white suites, much like the one I was wearing.

It didn't matter though, because I can tell from the hair, dyed, polished, and primed that they are from the Capital. If that wasn't enough, the way they carried themselves also said it, with their back straight, and heads high you can tell they don't do hard labor. People from the Districts, not the first four anyway; walk like the entire world is balancing on their shoulders and if they stumble once they'll die.

"Just place your hands on the bars, and the feet on the platform, please." One of the cheerful, accented people said. I sighed and placed both feet on the platform and placed my hands on the white marks on the bars. As soon as my hands were placed on the bars my muscles cramped up and were incapable of movement. It felt like electric shocks were moving through my body and stiffening my bodies movement.

The ladder and platform rose into the hovercraft but I was released even then. Instead another Capital slave came up to me, smiling her fake, blue tinted style. "Don't worry dear; it's only your tracker." She held a large metallic needle and I couldn't even scream as she shoved it down the length of my forearm and squeezed the trigger. Something cold and hard moved painfully into my arm, right in the middle of it. The contraption left a smooth bump in my skin and I wanted to shudder as the lady almost seemed to yank out the needle causing more pain then absolutely necessary.

Now they'll be able to track me in the arena, as if the camera's won't already be staring at me all the time, or that they don't already know every inch of the arena and have it marked down to the last tree leaves. But, the Gamemakers probably had to be sure; they wouldn't want to lose a tribute would they?

The ladder soon released me, and I stepped down, my legs wobbling. I was ushered to my seat with the other tributes but we weren't close together by any means. The seats were bulky and two to a row. I imagine that Cinna, since he was the only one I'm allowed contact with, for the protection and preservation of the tributes. (They tend to kill each other if they aren't kept apart.) As I sat down, Cinna himself was pulled up by the ladder, though he wasn't given any kind of tracker. He was merely looked over for anything that he could possibly give me that would help me in the arena.

When Cinna was seated beside me I took enough time to look out of the window beside me and take one more glance of that Capital, and of Haymitch who was standing on the roof with Effie still. There was no way around it; I wouldn't be seeing Haymitch for a long time. That is if I ever see him again. I can't see any of the features of him, just his blonde hair and suit but it doesn't matter. We start floating away my arms tightened on the chair.

"It's all right Katfir." Cinna whispered and I glanced at him. His eyes glinted with knowing, and I wondered briefly if Cinna didn't just know everything. He took my hand off of the armrest and squeezed it. I took his invitation and as we gained altitude, and the Capital, the massive city that it is, faded, my lungs seemed to lose more and more air. I couldn't help but to hyperventilate. I can't remember when it was exactly that I grew so afraid of heights – no it's not heights I'm afraid of, maybe just aircrafts.

Cinna was right beside me the entire time, holding my hand and talking me through it. He didn't touch on the other subject, the very place we were going to now, he didn't even try to give me any advice on the topic like the stylists for the other tributes were trying to do right now. Maybe if it wasn't Cinna's first Games he would have advice for me, I'm not sure. Portia and Peeta are right behind us in their own seats but I was too nervous to hear what they were speaking about. As soon as we made maximum altitude the belts that had once been securing us to our seats released. Cinna helped to pull my trembling body from the seat.

We were shown, by a brown haired, avox boy to a room where they've laid breakfast out. None of the tributes are here so I'm guessing they have a room for every tribute. My stomach is in knots, and I'm almost sure that if I try to eat I'll pass out or even vomit. None the less I tried my hardest to eat everything, savoring the mash potatoes especially. This was the last time that I was going to eat like a god. It's funny how when I first ate I didn't even like this food, yes I was mesmerized by it but I hated knowing that we were poor and they eat like gods.

It actually didn't take long for us to reach where the arena was. The windows of the room blocked out with a black screen long before we reached any where. I suppose they did that so that we couldn't tell what the arena was going to be like from our surroundings.

When the hovercraft stops moving, another avox comes to herd Cinna and I out of the hovercraft and down a blacked out, creepy, claustrophobia inducing tube to the 'launch room'. In the districts, we call it the Stockyard. It's not unlike how a butcher herds all of his animals together before they die.

Everything I see here, the two beautifully made couches, and the table in between, and even the red stained wooden walls that are oh so tame for the Capital, are brand new. I'll be the only tribute to ever use this room. After the Hunger Games all of the arena, including this place, will be turned into a museum where the Capital people can go to where the arena is and visit hotspots. When I say hotspots, I mean they can go to where people are killed, where they starved to death. They're considered vacationing spots to the Capital people, it's somewhere they'd even take their kids to. You can even reenact the Hunger Games or there will be a midnight showing of the Hunger Games right in the arena.

I'm told by Cinna in a soft voice to go shower again, and brush my teeth. I do so willingly. I may have done so already but what chance am I going to have to do these things in the arena? When I come out Cinna does my hair in a French (I don't even think they know its French here) braid down my back, and it reminds me of my sister who needs me, whose going watch this Hunger Games, and possibly see her older sister die. No, I won't die; she'll instead have to live with seeing her beloved and revered sister killing others. I shudder to even imagine what she will think of me then. But if I get back, I'll be able to afford a Capital surgery and make her better. Prim will even be able to afford her own garden, she's always loved gardening.

Then the clothes arrive. Cinna softly corrected me on what I thought was the procedure. It turns out that he did not get to design the outfit that I would be wearing into the games. Instead, all of the tributes would be wearing the same thing. When Cinna handed it to me I was a little cautious of it.

First there were warm, black jeans that would capture heat well, but also be breathable without catching on many of my surroundings. There is a beautiful, and tight black shirt that peels to my skin, a belt to keep the pants up, and a jacket special designed to keep in body heat, or that's what Cinna tells me. I can't say anything to him.

The wonder and the happiness from this morning have _completely _left me. Now my nerves are frazzled from what I guess could be performance anxiety. How was I going to go about this? As, Kismet (Destiny), I shudder to call myself that name even though I've accepted the fact that I am Kismet, I am still her, me, or whatever. Anyways, as Kismet, I have had very many experiences with many weapons, and with…taking lives but how could I make sure that the…humans, do not understand that I am more than a girl from a starving and stupid District for mining. They are already cautious of me, what with my skills with an axe.

I didn't even know if there will be any axes. I don't know what the terrain will be, or what the weather will be like. But there is nothing that can really, truly keep me chained; if I can imagine it, then it can happen. Of course, I don't count that one time I was bond to a human's life by his mother. Mostly, I don't count it because it turned out pretty well in the end. True, I don't need to tell the humans who I am or what I can do, but I've broken that rule before, but I shouldn't really try to crack the minds of the humans by doing something in terms they will not comprehend.

Cinna and I anxiously sit and wait. On the edge of the room there is a carved out circle in the wall. Cinna was given instructions to pass on to me that when they call for me I was to step onto the platform and shut the glass so that they could lift me into the arena.

Right now though I'm anxiously wringing my hands together. There were refreshments on the table, with a large pile of mash potatoes. I'm sure the gamekeepers were trying to be nasty, making what they thought for sure would be my last meal be here of all places. I sighed and slumped back on the chair. I was so tired already. I had no idea how long I would have until they put me out into the open. One year they let us out at midnight after keeping everyone locked up in the catacombs for four weeks. I doubt they'd do that again, seeing as they all went insane.

Before I knew it I was being shaken awake by Cinna. I looked up into his brown eyes, startled. "They are calling for you." He said worriedly. Indeed I could hear what I suppose is an intercom system. A woman's voice was telling us that we had five minutes to prepare. Cinna got my attention again when he held up his hand, holding a familiar golden pin.

"_The lady, Ms. Madge that you bring the strawberries to told me to give it to you. She said that…" Katniss had to stop for a moment to take breaths. Her lungs were getting worse._

"_She said that you brought her a bear pelt and that her father only gave you a blanket." I looked down now, to the pin. It was golden with a bird on it, a mockingjay. _

"_This has to be worth something…maybe I can sell it to…" _

"_For once, Katfir, keep it for yourself." Katniss told me strongly. _

"Where did you get that?" I asked him quietly as I took it from his hands and gently caressed it. I missed my sister. If she'd been here, I could have told her of my progress with Haymitch. She'd be so happy for me, knowing her she'd probably try to take down Haymitch with a sister talk to warn him off or something utterly embarrassing.

Haymitch. How could he be feeling right now? I know my stomach is in knots just from putting the pin on my shirt now. I took a deep breath. I didn't have enough time to think about him. The woman's voice is already counting down for us.

"It's your district token." Cinna said as I walked to the glass container. I put one thing on the soft metal inside the tube and looked up. All I could see was blackness, no doubt so that I wouldn't look up and see where I was going to be before they wanted me to. I looked back for one moment at Cinna.

"Thank you, so much for everything." I told him, grinning one last time at him, just so he can know that the thank you didn't just go to the pin. I wanted to thank him for everything he's done to make sure that I make it through the games.

"Remember to run away from the cornucopia, find some water, and some shelter and the rest will follow." Cinna told me, squeezing my shoulders for a moment and looking me in the eyes. "If I was allowed to bet, I'd bet on you Katfir." Cinna confessed. I desperately breathed in as the glass started to close by itself. Cinna stepped away from the container but taped his chin. Hold your head high.

I straightened my clothes and held my head high just as the platform started to rise into the blackness of before. As I was pushed through my eyes were astounded by the brightness for precious seconds before everything came into focus.

Trees, grass, water, and the cornucopia. I let out a breath of air as I looked around me. It's a forest, just like the ones outside of District 12. I felt like a small weight had been taken off my shoulders.

Then I hear the happy, fake, and horror inducing voice of Claudius Templesmith from everywhere around the arena. "Ladies and Gentlemen, let the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!"

**Haha! I have made it to this stage! I feel like I've accomplished something major! All right guys I'm off to try and write the next chapter of the story!**


	14. Say you'll share with me

For sixty seconds we are required to stand on our metal stand. If we even take a foot off of the metal plate and place it anywhere in the vicinity of the ground we will be blown to kingdom come. They place mines all around the ground of the metal podiums to insure that the tributes stay on the platform. It wouldn't help so much, if someone were to have a weapon upon having entered the games. Then they could just throw it and kill someone right off the bat.

Me, I don't mind. What I'm doing is looking around, gauging the world I'm going to be held in for some time. All of the tributes have been placed an equal distance from the Cornicopia. The Cornicopia itself is a hulking black medal figure in the shape of what I suppose was supposed to be that Thanksgiving decoration from days long since forgotten. The mouth of it is at least twenty feet high, and equally round. Just like the Thanksgiving decoration there are items spewing from the mouth, spread out both inside and along the floor of the meadow that we are in. Along the ground there are things that will help the tributes to survive, including things such as fire-starters, containers of water, even medicine, garments, camouflage, and even weapons. The weapon that catches my interest is the large battle axe tucked just inside, barely seeable.

I know it was meant for me. It's been 'bedazzled' more than my old wooden axes but I know that I have the strength to lift it, or even throw it to impale someone. I can see that the value of the items increase, with the more important items in the cornucopia, and the lower items are closer to us. They're trying to tempt us into the cornucopia, to reach and grab something.

They've succeeded. I know I can go to the cornucopia and kill anyone in the way, and with my 12 they may just not suspect anything. But I know that the gamekeepers won't like it and keeping the gamekeepers happy is a fundamental part of being in the Hunger Games. If you really anger the gamekeepers they can kill you in an inescapable and torturous way. I would be scarred or even mentally damaged but I would be able to escape. Then of course, they would realize that I'm not just a human and that revelation has always caused problems, be they bad or worse.

Instead, I can just grab something, something small and at the edge of where I stood. I knew what Haymitch said. I can even see Peeta over there, turning toward the forest to the east of us. I can remember what Haymitch told us, to put as much distance between us and the other tributes and then find a source of water to drink. But the things I could use are there and it's tempting, to tempting. I won't go all the way, even to get the axes. I'll grab something small and run as fast as I can away.

I glanced around at the other tributes and to my surprise some where staring at me. I realized that my assessment earlier was right. They were going to try to mow me down for the twelve I received. I groaned, I shouldn't have gotten angry at the gamekeepers. I grimaced, just waiting anxiously for the countdown to hit sixty and to tell us to start off. I can just see a bag just a few meters for me. I don't know what's in it but it has to be important. If I tried hard enough I could probably make it all the way in the cornucopia but the problem was, could I get out without getting myself into a…situation?

They could probably take me down in close range, I could take all of them down, but that would _defiantly _grab everyone's suspicions. Of course, some would probably pass me off, just to get to the other adversaries, ones that could be more trouble down the line. I'm smaller, so they probably would go for the hulking ones, like Thresh, just to make it easier on them later on in the games.

Haymitch doesn't know about the other side of me, and as bad as it sounds, I'd rather he didn't. It causes all kinds of problems, and I'm still me so what should it matter that I'm Destiny? But I suspect if he knew, then he'd tell me to go for it, to get the weapon. The axe there is looking better and better the more I stand there. If I get it, it could be my salvation but if I don't…

The minute has to be almost up. I can't help but waver now as the anxiety slowly ruined my nerves. I glanced at all of the people around me. Peeta, five tributes to my right is staring at me and furiously shaking his head no. I just grinned at him and stared frontwards, it was almost time for the minute to be up. You know what; I'm going to stop worrying. I'm going to grab that pack, that piece of plastic and take my ass to the forest and find that water.

Just as I decided the gong rings. Everyone shoots for the cornucopia. I start off running, and I admit I'm not as fast as the red head whose soaring past but I'm fast enough that I can scoop up the plastic sheet and make a wild dash for the backpack, all without breaking stride.

And then I shriek as I almost get hit with a knife. I turn to see the blonde one, from District 2, is running fast at me and almost there. I stand my ground and I feel an unnatural anger and pride kick start in my stomach. I grab the bag and as she makes it to me, knife at the ready, she swings at me with her free hand. I don't even pause in ducking to a crouch and flipping backwards on my hands, knocking her in the face with my feet as I start flipping back out of the way. On the third flip, I'm to out of mystical Destiny shape and I stop flipping. I stumble for a second, and it actually helps, because I ducked another knife from her. I dashed towards the forest and was missed by another knife, this one thick and hulky, and defiantly not from the District 2 girl's direction. I take a risk and glance behind me to see the District 2 boy, who had blood on his hands and face already was there scowling at me.

Beside him is the Distric 2 girl, holding her bleeding face from where the fouch bottom of my boots mangled her face. I grin as I turn forward towards the fast approaching forest line. Not a second later I was sliding to hide under a bush without a hitch. I gulped for breath and put my back to a tree and listened.

I could hear pained cries, of someone no doubt just being the correct age to be a tribute. I glance behind the tree to take stock of the cornucopia. A bunch of dead bodies are on the ground, one was even convulsing as one of the District's people slice them through sadistically. It makes me shutter at the mere sight. I vowed that if – or when – I had to take some one down I'd do it as fast as I could, and with much mercy.

One of the dead bodies, the one of a raven haired boy who's podium had been beside mine was knifed in the back, not soon after he'd jumped down from the podium. From the angle, and the starting point, I can tell that the knife, might not have actually been meant for me.

I'm surprised I even dodged District 2's knifes. I've seen her in training. Unlike us, her mentor didn't tell her to hide her skills. I'm half tempted to think that her mentor decided to tell her to intimidate us. That's all the District 2 people had done is try to intimidate us by ripping apart dummies in the practice room with brute, and cruel force. I take a second to just thank God that I'd evade her for now.

The District 2 tributes abandoned taking me down now, so that all of the good stuff wouldn't be gone in the cornucopia. It's not like they have any real competition. They'd struck an alliance, the Careers, since that first day of training. That's all I see before I ducked farther into the woods, setting a gruesome pass for myself, trying to be light on my feet so that no one hears my light footsteps.

I take a moment in my mind to be glad that I was trained by a Russian spy when I was in a different Destiny. Now I think I'm actually missing being Destiny. Cause you know when I'm doing my job, making people's futures, pasts, and present I don't get in life threatening situations. I even miss playing with the planets and the stars. (See Legend of Destiny if you need that to be explained) Mostly though, I miss not having to run everywhere. How do humans do it, God, I'm tired already.

I push on though. For a few hours I alternate between running, walking, and hiding. I'm listening carefully for anything around me, but I'm also looking for signs of water. So far I've had nothing but trees and more trees. At least in District 12 they had steady rivers everywhere. At one of the moments that I'm taking a rest I gather up my supplies. I ended up holding on to the plastic sheet, which is in perfect condition to protect me if I needed it. It's large enough even to be a blanket if I folded it out and scrunched my feet up a little to.

What I hadn't noticed, with my adrenaline fueled acrobatics, was a large hunting knife with part of it a sawing edge, perfect for sawing through tough things, and the top was perfect for preparing dead animals, being buried in the back of the orange backpack. I contemplated opening up the backpack, but I'd stayed still for far too long as it is. Instead I kept moving after pocking the knife into my deep pockets to keep it in reach, just in case. I place the plastic inside a hidden jacket pocket that I discovered. From there on I don't stop, I only paused to check for the sound of footsteps behind me. I even glanced to the tree tops, just to make sure there was no one there either.

I know from experience I can make it a long time with out food, or even without water. Technically, if I wanted I could go without either forever because my soul, and my body don't need it, but then I start to loose weight drastically, and sometimes I start passing out when I shouldn't. And passing out here isn't a good idea, ever. I'm cautious to even try and sleep tonight. Tonight will be the night that everyone is at their best and ready to kill each other.

As I move farther along the landscape starts to subtly change. The pine trees that I was so used to began to change and mingle with oaks and redwoods. The ground began to slope down and I didn't like it. If I'm in a valley I can be trapped into a corner and killed. If I'm up high I can see the others coming and I can even pick off others, if I make something with all of these tree branches. Maybe I could make a spear, I'm pretty good with a spear, and not as good as an axe but still anything can help. I have to keep going though, because it's always a good idea to keep moving.

All those days in the capital stuffing myself is paying off. I have tons of energy stored up in my body. I feel so much better now surrounded by all of this earth and nature. It's like breathing in the taste of nature is giving me the strength I needed to make it through. Just the illusion of being alone is strengthening. I'm sure that I'm being watched, maybe not right at this moment, because the other tributes might have something more exciting then walking in the woods going on, but I also know that I'll never be truly alone as long as I'm here.

Camera's are hidden everywhere, in the trees, in the ground, in the sky, hell they might even be somewhere on me. I've slowed down now, and my hand as I think and search has drifted to the bump that symbolizes the little tracker that they place on my skin. They could have done anything while I was asleep.

Suddenly something in the trees makes a noise. I jerk my back against a tree and search above for the noise, but it's only a fat, gorgeous squirrel. I slowly, so as not to draw the squirrel's attention to myself, picked my knife out of my belt and raised my arm. I weighed the knife, a little heavy on one end so I'd have to aim higher. I cocked my arm back and swung the knife out. It pierced straight through the side of the squirrel and pinned it back against the tree trunk.

I sighed and looked around, making sure no predators, or tributes, heard the thunk of the knife imbedding itself in the trunk. When I decided that there wasn't anyone around I made my way to the tree and began the climb up it. The climb wasn't too difficult, though it wasn't my favorite thing in the world. I like climbing well enough but I preferred to be on the ground, maybe in a cave. I was always so scared that I would fall from the top of the tree, and then spend the rest of my life…like Katniss.

Once I reached the dead squirrel I straddled the branch that the squirrel had once been climbing. I didn't have to work the knife out to much, after all it was quite a distance that I threw it from. I didn't even bother to come down from the branch as I cleaned the meat and hesitantly I left the fur there. If I were anywhere else, or maybe if I had some needle and thread, I'd try and get some more pelts and work a blanket out of them, but it wasn't a good idea now. I didn't have the time to make anything, and I had already been here to long.

It is late afternoon, with still no sign of water, that I hear the first cannon. I shutter as each one goes off because for each piercing shot is a dead tribute. For each one is someone who died in these sick games. That probably means the fighting finally stopped at the cornucopia. The gamekeepers don't collect the bodies until everyone has left the scene of the death. During the first day, during the fight of the cornucopia, they don't even bother to let the cannons loose until everyone has stopped fighting. It's much easier that way, because no one can quite keep up with whose dead and who isn't.

I don't pause in the slight jog I have going, but I do count the shots, with each one my anxiety rose. Who were they? One…two…three…on and on until I can count eleven deaths. I nervously rubbed my hands on the black pants I'm wearing. I have the blood of the squirrel still on them, having no water to wash it off with. I won't know who all died until it grows truly dark out here. They'll cast the images of the dead up on the dome of the arena and tell us what District they are from.

Will I see Peeta up there? Will I see my best friend's dead body waiting in the gigantic cemetery when I get home? For once, I kind of hope it's true. I don't want to have to worry about killing Peeta. I pray that he hasn't had to endure too much pain. As sick as it sounds, if he dies now then he'll be in a better place then here. Maybe he won't have to suffer through months of the arena only to die later.

He'd be heading home now, his body…He'd have been cleaned up, redressed even at the Capital and then sent home in a simple wooden box back to his grieving family. I can't remember anything from the battle of the Cornicopia. I can't remember if he was killed or not, but I pray he got that easy way out. I don't want to kill him; I can still remember all those moments we had together at school, at home. I can still remember him trying to get in to see Katniss when she first had the accident. It makes even more sense now why she didn't want him to see her, and Peeta wouldn't give up until he saw her. My sister and my best friend were in love. How clichéd is that?

I finally managed to stop, after I decided to climb up another tree, just in case. I want to be able to see people coming, so that I don't get taken by surprise. I have to look through the bag now, because at nightfall I won't be able to see much. I unhooked the bag once I was at the top, with the sturdiest branch up there. I observed the bag itself first. It was sturdy, as it's already proved, and it could hold pretty well if I were to have to run some more. The color is horrible though. Orange will be like a neon flag out here. I'll have to camouflage it tomorrow.

When I flip open the flap of the bag I'm hopeful that something useful will be there, not something stupid, that I won't be able to use. I'm hoping for something more useful than the sheet of plastic, which might actually be useful in the future. What I really want is a shovel. That could help me to dig traps, both for other tributes and for animals to eat.

What I receive is a black, thin sleeping bag that will hold in body heat easily. A pack of crackers, a pack of dried beef strips, a bottle of iodine, and a box of wooden matches. There is even a coil or wire and a pair of sunglasses which puzzled me greatly. I found something that made me want flash angrily, a half-gallon bottle of water that was waterless. I sighed and stuffed all of it back in the bag for now so that I could think, and run if I needed to.

Twilight has started by now, and my breath is still rough. I can already feel the effects of no water on me. My lips are chapped and my mouth just won't stay wet. My throat feels like a piece of scratched up wood. I grimaced and looked at my hands. I had for, but a fire was useless. I could set up the squirrel for bigger food but that would be useless. The only way a fire would be unnoticeable was during twilight but I can't risk getting to the ground and then not making it back up when it turns night. I could eat it raw, but I'm not _that _hungry yet.

I instead turn to the tree trunk and begin scraping some of the bark off so that I could reach the soft inner bark. I began to choke that down. I've long since been used to the taste, but with so long a time eating a great supply of food I have to take a few swallows to get it down my scratchy throat.

I climb down, just long enough to use the wire I gained to set up two traps, to get more food for later when I've deemed that I am a sufficient distance away from the tributes and that they won't come after me if I light up a fire.

I decide to move trees and with a five minute walk I find a clump of willow trees that are perfect for concealing me and even the orange backpack. It's not as tall as I would have liked it to be, but I don't have any time to find anything better. I found a sturdy branch and to my luck it had a fork in it that was just right for me to fit into. With a little work, and a lot of hesitance I get the sleeping bag and myself into a comfortable position. For me to get any sense of comfort, or manage any form of sleep I tugged my belt out and looped it around both me and the tree, so that I won't go crashing to the should I turn over during the night.

I pushed and pulled myself until the bag covered most of my head as well and I even put my hood on for good measure. The air is cooling quickly here as the sky darkens farther. I know for sure that I made the right choice in going for this bag because my face is freezing from where I've kept my eyes uncovered, so I could see my enemies. Night finally settled on to us, and my eyes are already dropping when the anthem busts out.

It startles me a bit, but I open my eyes so I can look at the top of the dome. The anthem stopped and I paused. Right now, at home they are watching a recap of all the deaths that day. They won't show us, because if they do it may reveal some of our secrets to the others. For instance, if I were to kill some one via throwing the large battle axe I saw earlier, then they would realize that this was why I accomplished a 12.

Nope, here in the arena all we see is the pictures, more like profile pictures of the tributes that died. Now they are displaying district numbers under the person, and I waited anxiously. First is the girl from District 3, and then the 4th district's boy is gone. The boy from District 5…Both tributes from six and seven…the boy from eight…and both from 9…That was the boy who'd been hit in the back with a knife, I vaguely remember that he'd been dressed weird, what was his name? Roman I think. I hadn't though of it then but I remember now. I didn't know him…personally. It was strange, now that I thought of it, his shirt had been weird, with things that looked like ties on his white shirt, and then some kind of circle and zip on the jacket. If I hadn't known better I'd have thought he'd been from the 21st century.

No Peeta…the last one had been from District 10 or something. I want to cry, because that means there's even more of a chance that I'll have to kill my best friend and it hurts.

I can't do it; I know I won't want to. It'll be horrible if it ends up being us who face off, but I'd rather him be the last and give him a chance then to take him off the board before then. I try instead of thinking of that to think of what tributes are left. I believe that it's the Five Career Tributes, that red head girl. Thresh and Rue are both alive. Rue…that small little girl is out there somewhere in this weather. I can't help but to feel glad that she made it through the first day. That means she's good. Maybe she'll just stay out of the way, but I don't want to kill her either. I don't know if my psych could take it if I had to take down a child, especially such a sweet one as her.

That makes ten of us. The other three I'll have to figure out tomorrow. For now I need to rest. I've had very little sleep and I need it now, with no water already an irritation. I did smile softly in my sleeping bag though, when I remembered _why _I got no sleep.

There wasn't any soreness, which was something I was very happy about. I'm so happy that I got to spend that night with Haymitch, and that Haymitch loves me. God, I love that he loves me. I don't know why, and quite honestly I'm not going to ask him when I see him. I'll probably just jump his bones when I see him. I can just remember now the feeling of his rough skin against my smooth one. I shuttered and burrowed deeper into the sleeping bag. I need sleep right now.

Slowly I will my muscles to relax, my eyes to close and the last thing I thought was I should be glad that I don't snore.

_Crunch! _My eyes snapped open and reeled around. I couldn't believe it. I looked to the sky and realized that it was slightly lighter than before but still darker than before. I must have slept for a long time before this disturbance. I didn't make any physical move, even though a stick was currently digging its way into my hip. I must have been asleep four, five hours.

I look around, and silently, being extra careful not to make a noise I turn towards the noise. _Snap! Snap! _I looked toward where the noise was coming from. It wasn't the sound of someone's foot but it was defiantly someone. For a few minutes I watch that same place and it's just inky blackness. Then, right when I was contemplating about to go to sleep I see a spark. My eyes widened when I saw a fire roar to life. I can't make more out than their hands warming over the fire but it's enough.

I want to scream at them. What are they thinking lighting a fire now when it's so visible. That fire could probably be seen from the cornucopia itself. It doesn't matter if they can't. By now they've probably been combing the arena for victims, and she's just placing a neon sign that practically screams 'I'm here!'

And here I am, in a willow tree, just a few feet from this retard with the fire. Just. My. _Luck! _I can't leave. First of all, I'm strapped to the tree by a belt, and this idiot has just broadcasted my general to anyone who wants a slice of me, which I imagine is a lot. I get hat it's freezing out here and not everyone has a sleeping bag, but even a _novice _much less someone who went through training for this, has to understand that you have to keep going and deal with it until dawn!

For a few more hours I burn up in my sleeping bag. Around the first hour I'm thinking if I could get out of this bag I'd just take her out myself. Stupid people like this are hazardous and this person is on the verge of getting me killed. Plus, this person doesn't have a knife on their person, or if they're this stupid, any weapon at all really.

I can see the sky lighting now, with the sounds of birds somewhere in the distance. I grimaced to myself as I made a soundless adjustment to my position. I begin to think that I might just have my chance, if it comes dawn, but then I hear something that steals any breath from my very body. Footsteps, multiple running footsteps. The fire starter is down for the count before she realizes what has happened; I can tell she's been dozing for the last hour. I know it's a girl from the scream and the pleading as whoever's killing her laughs at her.

"Twelve down and eleven to go!" Someone announced. It got a round of hoots from their comrades. I don't have to guess who's in the alliance. It always happens, like clock work, during the beginning of the games. The strong band together to kill the weaker ones, and then they turn on each other, the moment their backs are turned. The Careers, no doubt, I'd recognize District 2's voice by now. I'd like to see the damage I did to her face right about now. I'd say two of them are boys, and three girls. They are the ones who lunched together.

They spent a few leisurely moments checking the girl for anything good, and just like I'd thought, she didn't have anything on her. Probably the only thing she even learnt from the training was how to make a fire, and look where that got her. For a moment I anxiously wonder if the little dead girl is Rue, but it must not be. Rue is _way _to smart to build a fire in the middle of the night.

"Better clear out so they can get the body before it starts stinking." That's the guy from District 2, it has to be. I don't really remember, but I think that it sounded like that during his interview. To my horror, after people muttering assent I hear their footsteps getting closer. Oh, God. Oh, God save me. I squeezed my eyes shut and screwed my face up. If I needed to I could probably undo this belt before they realize that its me that's up here in this nest, but I'd get hurt way before I made damaged to them, or even escaped. I nearly give myself away with a scream when my body rolls, silently thankfully, over.

Thank you for the belt now. Cause now I'm upside down and attached to the tree branch. I don't dare to open my eyes to see if they heard or saw me. I just want them to hit me quickly, then I can take 'em down while they think they are the victors of this round. But, I don't have to worry. The sleeping bag hadn't made a sound, and they mustn't have been looking at the tree to see the movement.

They've stopped in a clearing about ten yards from my tree. I can see they do actually have flashlights and torches, but I can't really make them out. There is one more torch then I thought they were but I don't know who it is with their faces being away from their torch. I turn to stone as much as possible as I stay stuck to the tree.

"Shouldn't we have heard a cannon by now?"

"I'd say yes. Nothing to prevent them from going in immediately."

"Unless she isn't dead." I listen carefully to their conversation.

"She's dead, I stuck her myself."

"Then where's the cannon?"

"Someone should go back. Make sure the job's done."

"Yeah, we don't want to have to track her down twice."

"I said she's dead!" What did I say, they start to argue. That's how it always starts. A few arguments here in their causes a shift in alliances before they all just kill each other one day.

"We're wasting time!" My heart stops. I know that voice but… "I'll go finish her and let's move on!"

…..Peeta?

**All right, I worked hard to finish this for you guys. So what do you think of Katfir's first day in the arena? Exciting I know. I kept it close to the story line with a few adjustments. I'm actually quite pleased with this chapter, but eh. **

**Okay, I've been forgetting to put these on here so here's the question per update:**

**How excited are you for the Avengers? And if some of you have it already, Is it just as great out of theatre's?**


	15. One Love One Lifetime

He couldn't stand to see her in there. The arena had evolved, even since he'd been in there. His heart nearly pounded out of his chest, watching his love fight for a bag. It was great that she got supplies, but he's too old to watch her back flip-kick someone in the face. If she hadn't run away…he'd surely have experienced a heart attack.

He ran his fingers through his unkempt, unwashed hair. (Anything to keep her with him) What was he going to do? He couldn't drink. That would be one of the biggest disgraces he could give to her. He knew she hated seeing him drink himself into a coma. He remembered the look on Katfir's face when she had first witnessed him hung-over. It'd nearly crushed his heart to see such an innocent person, just looking to take care of her family, look so damaged.

Now his heart is crushed again as he watched this lovely woman that he'd come to love fight to stay alive. If there weren't Districts…if Katfir and him could just live out in the wild…She'd be good at that, and he'd learn. He didn't want her to take care of him anymore; he wanted to take care of her.

As he watched her eyes widen with the realization that Mellark had betrayed her, he wanted to jump at the Capital screen and kill the boy for daring to hurt her. He'd known that this _Peeta _fellow was bad the moment he saw him. Though, he confessed, that's probably because he was jealous. There wasn't a reason to be jealous anymore, but he always had a reason to be angry.

Except that night….God, he can barely get the memory out of his mind. Her soft skin…her lush, lavender scented hair…and her lips… It made him sick to think that the one night they shared, could be there only. Not if he has anything to say. There are plenty of gift money coming in for Katfir, with few coming in for that bastard. He just needed his love to hang on for a bit longer. There was a river ahead, he'd looked, and if she kept going that way, then she'd make it.

Haymitch watched as she learns more about Mellark's deceit but doesn't bat an eyelash. That's okay, Haymitch has a decent hand, and if he has anything to say, Mellark won't be getting a helping hand from outside of the arena until he shapes up. Mellark probably knows it to.

Haymitch watches on silently, with his hands fisted in the fabric of the mentor's chair beneath him. He swears, if she gets out of this he'll propose on the spot.

**So how do you like it? I was thinking about this but then I was looking in my mail and saw someone really ask for it. I was like…meh I'm not doing anything right now, so let's do this thing. Obviously, I wanted to express that he was just as attached to her as she is to him. I didn't keep it in his POV because the story is all about Katfir, and well…I don't write men that well. They come out feminine and emotional. Ugh…oh well. I don't know if I'll do this again, but I do know it'll probably be awhile before I update. I just need to write a few chapters ahead, maybe go ahead and finish writing it.**

**I have to say though, I'm writing my Ironman story and it's _finally _coming together. You have no _idea _the struggle I've gone through to get this story right. I have so many documents in my FAILURE folder right now that it isn't even funny! I tell you what. If you answer my question, I'll give you a sneak peek of my IronmanOC! **

**P.S. The Avengers comes out in my area _tomorrow! _I have save up all of my money, just so I could get the best version! Then I found out my Mom's birthday is coming up soon, and if I buy the Avengers I won't have enough to get her anything nice…..my Mom knows how obsessed I am, maybe she won't cry. XD**

**Okay, question. In my Ironman story, in the Iron man 2 sequel, should Rhodes steal the suit, or should it just be the OC finally standing up for herself against Tony? What's your opinion? If you have another idea, just tell me and I'll think about it!**


	16. Let me lead you from your solitude

It seemed as if the air in the sleeping bag had left. How could Peeta do this? I had thought we were friends, but I guess my illusions have been shattered now. I was expecting to be hurt in the arena; maybe even by Peeta, but what I didn't expect was to be betrayed by what I had thought was my best friend. If I look at it logically, we haven't been real friends since our names were called out. I guess I was holding on to a friendship that wasn't really there.

I couldn't see it, but I could bet this entire game that my face had gone blank. My muscles just wouldn't move out of the blank expression that had formed. The only thing that moved was my eyes as I watched the group with a growing anger.

"Go on then, Lover boy," The boy from District 12, who had run after me so fearlessly before sneered at Peet-Mellark. "See for yourself." The boy tells him. I watch as one of the shadows runs off, back to where the embers of the fire are still going. Looking to the group I purse my lips. The anger that's growing deep in my belly couldn't be quite explained by words alone. The best I could explain is the burning desire to just say 'fuck it' and kill them all now with just the hunting knife, if you'll excuse my language please. I won't though. I want the knowledge that he's betrayed me to burn Peeta's insides out.

I would have understood if he had just gone for the resources before, but to do this is just something I don't think I could forgive. I'd been so worried about taking him out, and if he was in pain, and if he was dead. It hadn't mattered all along because Peeta was just comfortable cruising with the big guys. It's practically blasphemy. No one from District 12 has ever been in the Career pack, from lack of wanting is why. No District 12 member can, with a good conscience join the pack of Careers; it's something that would only get you killed by people at home for trying. If you even made it back. The Careers are hated by all other districts, and it's shown through the years of Hunger Games.

I will eagerly watch the night skies for signs of his death, if I don't kill him first myself. _If_.

When Peeta is out of earshot the Careers start talking. They are always so quick to talk behind each others backs that it disgusts me to even hear their words.

"Why don't we just kill him now and get it over with?"

"Let him tag along. What's the harm? And he's handy with that knife." Oh, is he? That's just splendid information. I don't know why I'm surprised, I mean Peeta cooks for a living I'm sure he'd have to be handy with a knife but still…

"Besides, he's our best chance of finding her." Great. Fantastic. Good luck with that. I'll be damned if I even look at Peeta before I kick his ass into the land of the dead.

"Why? You think she bought into that sappy romance stuff about her sister?" I couldn't tell who was talking but it didn't matter to me. They were all a bunch of targets now. With this burning anger in me I feared for their lives should my anger win over my conscience. It's the only thing holding me back right now, in the form of the belt which tied me to this forsaken tree.

"She might have. Seemed pretty simpleminded, and lovey dovey to me. With her own little exclamation I'd think she'd be pretty stupid. Just thinking about her makes me want to puke." I can guarantee that you made me feel about the same way. Expect more like I wish I could just rip you in half.

"I wish we knew how she got that 12…" Someone I didn't recognize said in a tight male voice. I looked down, squinting but I couldn't see more than the outlines.

"Bet you lover-boy knows." I frowned. Wait, did they not know? Peeta knew what my strong point is and he couldn't have forgotten it already. What could he possibly have in not telling them? I could hear the footsteps of Peeta returning now from making sure the girl was no more.

"Was she dead?" The boy that I didn't recognize spoke again.

"No," Peeta replied. "But she is now. Ready to move on?" I heard the cannon fires shot off for the girl now. The career pack says no more as the sun begins to break over the horizon, unnaturally fast. It takes me a few seconds to pull myself back onto my branch, from the shudders of rage, confusion, and anxiety. I had come so close to getting caught that it was unexplainable how my insides felt. But it was worth it. I'd gained a lot of information, and I'd defiantly put it to good use later.

For now I wrapped my arms around myself and sat there, staring out into the forest as day broke. I didn't want to give the watchers any clue to how much Peeta's betrayal affected me. I need to move, to get away from this spot now, but I can't do it. My limbs wouldn't unlock from around me so I stayed still, the bag where I left it, hanging over the small branch above me.

I can't believe that Peeta is helping them find me. I can't believe Peeta, sweet little Peeta who stood up for me all those years ago, and the Peeta that _loves _my sister, is a traitor. Actually, how can I be sure that he loves my sister? What's to say that he didn't do that to gain my trust, just so he could betray me to the careers? I should have jumped down and slaughtered them. I heard the birds begin to break out in song and I pushed myself out of my bag, being sure the other people were now gone.

Carefully I packed up and began to climb down my tree, still thinking. I was probably just a girl that they have to take seriously now because she got a twelve. The only reason they even cared about me – or Peeta – was because of the opening ceremony. If it weren't for that we wouldn't have even be noticed until we were given our numbers. Something tells me that without that I probably wouldn't have gotten a twelve anyways. I'd probably have actually been unnoticed. I don't know it that's good, or bad. I could have taken them all out, them being completely unaware, but Peeta would know.

Yet, he hasn't told them. What could be going on in his head? Before this all started, I probably could have told you. Now, I don't know. It could be anything in that blond head of his. Suddenly the birds of before fell silent with the sun just arriving fully over the horizon. I held my breath. It was just like when they took Hade away.

The birds had stopped singing then to. Now I watched as high in the sky a hovercraft, not unlike the one before when they carried us to the arena appeared. A crane like thing falls from the hovercraft, with a large wire tying it to the hovercraft itself. I watched in morbid fascination as the crane picks up the dead girl and carefully bring her into the hovercraft and just like that the hovercraft leaves, faster then my eyes can watch. The birds resumed their songs as if nothing of interest had happened, as if a girl hadn't just died for the sick amusement of others.

I know the cameras must be following me now. With the darkness the branches of the trees, and the sleeping bag concealing me it must have been hard to get to me, though I'm sure they managed. I smirked, just to give them something to think about. Let's see what they think that means. I'm hesitant to check my traps when I know that the careers are so close. But I know I might need the meat later, and by then the gamekeepers will just be waiting for a reason to push us together to fight. I'm rewarded with a rabbit. I skin it again, but I take out the squirrel from earlier and stare at it. It would be better to eat it now, raw. The blood as sick as it is, is a kind of liquid and would help with my parched lips and aching throat.

I swallowed my spit and grimaced before I hesitate, then force my body to take a bit. Disgusting, nasty, and squishy is all that I could think about. My throat closed up for a second and I grimaced, gagging. Somehow I managed to swallow the disgusting tasting squirrel. I stared down at the meat. I knew that I needed to take another bite. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't think of anything to say against t other then the taste. Being who I am, I won't get any disease from eating it raw but that didn't make it any better.

Then I think of something, and my whole demeanor brightens. I carefully made my way to the dead tributes fire, and I'm in luck. The coals of the fire were still burning. I fashioned a spit out of a branch and I set the rest of the squirrel, and the small rabbit, onto it to cook it. I'm glad for the cameras now. They can tell that I'm a good hunter and I won't be lured into traps like the other tributes, which would be hungry. Looking at the fire, I cautiously took out one of the branches that were no longer burning.

I pulled the backpack off of my back and set to putting the black part of the burnt tree over the bright orange, that I'm glad had not given me away before. It works reasonably well, though mud might have done better, but for mud I'd need water. And now that I was cooking the food I wouldn't even have the disgusting taste of blood to hydrate me. I know I don't necessarily have to have it, but it would be nice.

There isn't any time to waste though. I hurried to replace the backpack, with the rabbit inside so I could eat the squirrel while I'm walking, to save me time that I'd sorely need. I chose to take the logical path, away from the Careers direction.

The meat of the squirrel isn't very filling but it stops the noise that was coming from my stomach and I'll be a little while on getting hungry again. I still need to find water though. If I live through weeks without water people will notice. I know that most of these people aren't paying that much attention to me and the Capital isn't renowned for having the most observant people. That doesn't mean that some people aren't capable of noticing that I was supposed to be on the verge of death and all I was doing was losing weight that I don't have enough of to lose.

Haymitch would notice. Haymitch notices everything. I can almost never put anything over on him. He's smart, cunning, and honestly I could say a lot of things about Haymitch that would explain it, but I can't think of Haymitch, it'll only make me sad or angry and neither of those would be good.

I'm already angry, just from hearing the news that my best friend hates me, I don't need to add being angry over being forced to fight to the death just to see Haymitch again. The Capital could do something stupid though…If I don't watch it.

As I hike and think I'm constantly aware of the presence of camera's looking at my face. I have that strange feeling that I'm being watched, but when I glance around I can't see a soul. I can't decide if that's a good thing, or a bad thing. It doesn't matter that I've been careful with my emotions, Claudius Templesmith will have had a field day with the way I reacted to Peeta's betrayal, and they probably have a million theories about Peeta to.

I hope this doesn't lose me any sponsors, if I have any. I'm sure that I do. With my fiery entry and with the twelve I earned they have to know I'm good at keeping alive. The back flip kick I did at the start might earn me some points; it shows I can be flexible if I need to be. True, I'm not some kind of gymnast but that doesn't mean that I can't hurt somebody if I need to. Sure, it's been a long time since I've needed to hurt anyone but I've got a lot of muscle from throwing around those axes, and it's paid off in lean muscle that can be deadly in a fight.

Maybe someone will notice. Someone with enough money to make a difference in this game when it matters if I'm lucky will notice. If I'm really lucky someone will think this is some kind of plot that Peeta and I cooked up, and that was why I smirked when I came down. They'll get a rude awakening later, but by then they would have already put their money on me and once you give money you can't take it back.

Things only get more expensive down the line to.

I try all I can to help me while I'm hiking. At one point I used the tried smearing the grease from the rabbit onto my lips, to try and help the cracking but it doesn't help anything, instead making my lips feel even more horrible. It's only been a short amount of time but I'm dehydrating fast even under the cover of the tree tops. I'm trying with all of my might to find some way to get to water but I can't think of anything for the life of me. At least I know now that going into this valley wasn't a bad idea, because water runs downhill in streams.

I've looked for game trails while I hiked, or even a particularly green patch of vegetation but nothing is giving away to the presence of water. It's all the same, never really changing. The trees are the same, and the only thing that's keeping me sane is the swift tweeting of the birds above my head. They remind me of my district token, the mockingjay. It reminds me of my family, my mom, Katniss, and Prim. They are all waiting at home, watching and waiting for the inevitable death that will surely come.

I know I'm getting worse, with my head starting to ache, and my tongue rapidly drying out. I tried on the sunglasses, not suspecting them to work, and they don't. They only make my headache worse, and for me to stumble, almost losing my balance. I stuffed them back in my bag, trying to think of a better plan.

At one point I almost grabbed onto some berries, ready to take what fluid they could give me eagerly, but I don't know them. I've never seen them around District 12 and I can't tell what they are, even with my extensive knowledge I can't remember. It's probably some sick twist my mind has come up with to screw with me but I flung them away, almost certain that if I ate them I would fall dead.

I could be paranoid, but since this dehydration was really only a discomfort for me, sure a big one, I kept on walking. I knew that I wouldn't die from it, but that didn't mean that my body knew it.

Fatigue starts to nag at me but there isn't any good in resting. What I need requires only more searching, and so I try a new tactic. I tried climbing a tree, to see if I could find any water that way but in my shaky state I could only manage a little bit up the tree, and no water was insight so I'm forced back to plan A. I'm so determined to find water that I keep going until night has suddenly fallen on me.

I finally stop then, to tug myself as far as I can make it in my exhaustion up a tree. My stomach can't hold any kind of food but I sucked on a rabbit bone, just so my mouth would have something to do. When the anthem begins to play I passively watch it.

Turns out that the tribute that Peeta went back to kill is from District 8. I felt no sympathy for the girl past the instinctive sympathy that comes with being in the same situation with someone. It was the girl's fault for not being able to stand a cold night. I couldn't have helped her, and I'm sure it wouldn't have mattered if I had because it would have only made it worse if I had to kill her later on.

I'm not as scared of the Career pack now, but that could be because I'm more concerned with the burning in my throat that won't go away. They will have had to stop by now to. I don't know anything about where they are set up, past what I saw at the Cornucopia. I pray that returning back to the lake, where I'm sure all of the Careers are is not my only chose, because I'm beginning to believe that in this state I'd be hopeless against any kind of attack, even with my knife.

I fall asleep thinking about what I could do.

It doesn't help. In the morning I become worse off. Directly after waking up I knew something was wrong. My senses weren't fast enough and every time I moved my entire body ached, including a pounding in my head fierce enough to make a grown man beg for mercy.

I don't have a choice though. There is nothing I can do but search for water because I can only hope that it is somewhere nearby. Going back isn't an option, and my brain is hurting so much, and my thought process has been so stunted that I couldn't make it think up another plan. Instead I stumble on taking longer than usual to assemble and continue.

I know that there has to be a reason that I haven't been sent water. There has to be a reason that Haymitch hasn't sent me water. As my mentor, and love of my life, I know that he doesn't hate me, at least now I do, so what could be his reasoning? I can't bother with even a tear of frustration though I'm nearly dying from it. My brain feels as if a fog has worked its way in my ears and into every part of my brain.

Wait. Despite my frustration and knowing voice in the back of my head whispers an answer that I would have already puzzled out had I been hydrated. _He's sending you a message. _As I said before, Haymitch is smart, and so am I. There is only one good reason that I could think of as to why Haymitch wouldn't send me water now. He knows I've almost found it.

I continue on, safe in this understanding. I don't question it, as some people want to do. I don't think I'm crazy with little voices in my head. What I'm focused on now is finding water, before I start to lose all thought and _do _go insane. It won't be a pretty picture and with my feelings towards this universe, I'd likely just slaughter everyone in it. I know if I sit down, or stop to rest that I won't get back up again, and everything will stop for me. So I don't. I feel so alone here in these woods.

It's impossible though. I don't have to question that the cameras are on me now. Unless there's a really good fight somewhere else, I'm being featured, because this is a good suspenseful moment for the audience.

My thoughts turn to all kinds of things. Like my sisters. Prim will not be watching live, but they'll show updates during lunch. If I die, they'll bring her out of school and tell her. Katniss…well she's probably watching. We have an old beat up T.V. seat that every house is required to have, to watch the Hunger Games when it's broadcasted. I think of Haymitch, and can almost feel his silent urging on. Thinking of them I try to look as in control as I can but I know I'm fighting a losing battle.

I'm barely even sweating any more, and my heart is beating too quickly. My footing has gotten so bad that I'm stumbling over every leave, twig or root I come across until finally I fall and don't get back up. I'm so _tired. _What was wrong with sleeping? The air is sweet and it reminds me of lilies, my name sake. Katfir lilies. My face is pressed against the ground and the mud tickles my face, wetting it.

My eyes snap open. MUD. I hoist myself up, a painful task that I can barely feel as I stumble up, pushing through the brush that had before obscured the view of a pond, with sweet pond lilies, and Katfir lilies, on the edge of the pond. I nearly cry with delight, if I had not been so dehydrated I have no doubt that tears would have come from my eyes.

Instead, I drop to my knees before the pond. I want to drown myself in this pond water, just so that I could be wet again, but I restrain myself with the last of myself control and instead tug out the iodine, and the flask to hold water. I made sure to fill the flask to the top; the half of hour it takes for the iodine to work nearly kills me. I can't help but stare at the water, so happy to see it.

When I've stood it all I could I brought the water to my lips and _slowly, _another test of myself restraint, beginning to swallow down the water, so as not to sicken myself. I drink the entire half gallon, then another. Filling up another one I found a tree that could hold me and climbed up it, already beginning to feel rejuvenated. I ate rabbit, a few of my precious crackers, and relaxed for lack of real energy to do anything else.

When the anthem plays I feel better. There weren't any deaths today, which can only mean horrors in the near future. Tonight, and tomorrow if I can manage it I'll stay here though. I'll catch some of the fish, and dig the roots up of the lilies for food. With plans looking up I snuggle down in my sleeping bag and keep my water bottle close, full just in case, and fall into an unrestrained slumber.

A few hours later, the stampede of feet shakes me from slumber and my eyes snap open. It wasn't hard to figure out, even through the blur of sleep, I could see what the problem was. With it not yet dawn I can see the large wall of fire descending rapidly upon me.

**Okay, I know you guys must be mad. I would be to in your situation. Honestly I've had no spark for this story for a while, or my other story. I can't promise anything to you. I only wrote today because I've had a lot of people recently begging for it. As good as that makes me feel I've kind of fallen out of love with this story. Meh. I'll finish it but also, some things have come up in my family.**

**Recently my Grandmother died of cancer, and I've been having a lot of trouble getting over it. I don't want to use that as an excuse for the whole time that I haven't updated, because I've been writing like mad on my Iron man story. I'm not anywhere near done with it either, because I plan to make it as long as it takes to get really into Anna. I'm not sure if it's any good though.**

**I love you guys, and thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. I put a lot of effort into it so hopefully you really enjoyed it! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	17. Say you need me

My fingers fumbled as I tried to hurry. Somehow I managed to get the buckle on the belt loose and I stumbled from my sleeping bag. I nearly screamed as me, and the backpack that I had put in my sleeping bag fell to the ground with little ceremony. I didn't bother with packing, and there was no used in it. I picked up the belt and my water bottle and stuffed them into the bag. Only slinging it over my shoulder, I started running, as the wall of fire growing closer every second.

It wasn't as if it mattered how fast I ran. The night was swallowed with smoke and flames that seemed to try and incase me. I pumped my legs as fast as they'd go, as branches fell, crackling with fire, and I dodged them as best as I could. My brain was pumped with adrenaline and incapable of much more thought then getting away from the fire that was creeping closer, no matter how much I tried. I fell back instead on my instincts, to follow the animals that were fleeing as well. I could spot all kinds of animals, wild dogs, rabbits, and deer.

They were too fast for me, and I was too slow for their powerful legs. My boots caught on fallen limbs, holes, and roots hidden under fallen leaves. The heat burns my back and my face when I turn to track its process. Somewhere in my mind the fact that smoke is getting in my lungs is a known fact. But right now my brain is focusing on getting away from danger. No sleep is left in my mind. I tugged the edge of my shirt over my mouth and nose, and I'm grateful that it's covered in sweat, to block more of the smoke out.

I don't bother with dodging any of the low hanging limbs, more concerned in getting out of the section. I know that parts of the arena are set up for different traps. If I can get out of this one, I can make it away from the fire. True, I might get out of this trap only to be taken down by rabbit animals, but this is my only option.

This is no accident. I know because I've seen the fires in the past games. The gamekeepers must have decided that the game had begun to get boring, and so must be herding us together. No fire can be in such a perfectly curved line of fire such as that. It's a good tactic, something that isn't the most original that I've seen but it's effective. A large log is in my way. I jump over it, and stumbled not having jumped high enough. The tail end of my jacket caught on fire, telling how close to the fire I was. I kept stumbling along ripping the jacket off; so that I could stamp out the fire, smother the oxygen out of it.

I can't just drop it, knowing I might need it later on makes me sacrifice some of my speed so that I can stuff it into the bag on my shoulder. This little is all I have, and I can't risk wasting any of it. I feel as if I'm being cooked as I run, my lungs burning with fire, and my esophagus burning with each breath I take in, a worrying fact.

Taking cover under some rocks that will guard me from the fire long enough so that when I start vomiting, I won't be burned. Whatever was left in my stomach is no more. My body retches until there is nothing left in my stomach, until the only thing coming up is spit. It leaves me trembling and light headed but I know I have to continue on. I use a small amount of water to wash what I can of the vomit out of my mouth and then I take a couple of sips, in hopes of settling my raw stomach. I take as short a moment as I can to stuff the sleeping bag and all that is in it into the backpack.

I don't know where I am, the terrain is different. There were no rocks like this where I was. I had only just found water. Could they not leave me a moment of peace? No, that would do no good for the audience would it? What could I do though? I knew that the only reasonable reason for them to have done this is to drive us all together. If I could circle around the fire line, as it couldn't last forever simply because the audience would cry foul to that. I would avoid meeting the Career pack as well. I rose to try and find a way around the fire and narrowly avoided a hissing fireball to the head. It connected with a rock where my head had been.

I scrambled out of my rock safety and started running again. This time I hear the hiss of the next fireball and I ducked, just in time to avoid another one. Now I see. The fire was just to get us moving. These fireballs were to give the audience something. I dropped to the floor again and another fireball hits the ground to my right, sending a fire pillar up where it met the earth. There must be some real fire power behind those balls of fire.

I know that they can't be coming from a hovercraft; I can't see or hear one. It doesn't matter. All I know is that if I stand still too long, death is sure. If I hear a hiss, to the ground or I'll be a charred mess on the ground, just waiting for death. My survival instincts are taking over. Any thought of the pond is over. I made a zigzag path, again trying to get out of this area. Somewhere, I have an idea that some lone gamekeeper has his hand on the trigger, and all he's doing is trying to get a direct hit. Well, he can keep trying because I'll be damned if he kills me by fire.

The deathly fireballs are only an apple's size, but deadly full of power. I keep heading as forward, and in one direction as I can. I can't say how long it takes for the fireball attacks to start to fade, but what I know is I'm retching again and it's straight up stomach acid. I stop, forced as my legs won't move another inch, giving out. I gagged onto the floor but nothing was coming up. I wiped my mouth and grimaced, picking up the scent of burnt hair. I took my hair in one hand and I let out curses I'm sure the heartiest pirate would have flinched away from. I _loved _my hair.

In my anger the hiss registers too late. Without thought my muscles react for me, but not fast enough. The fireball lands to the left of me, but not before brushing its fiery fingers over my legs thigh. I yelped, something not a scream but not a full whimper either. Seeing my pants on fire sends me into a panic attack, but my brain remembers faintly a voice from a long time ago. _If you ever catch fire, remember something simple. Stop. Drop. And Roll. _I started rolling on the ground, mindful even in my panic of the blaze a short distance from me where the fireball had set fire to the ground.

The fire stops long before I stop rolling. When my mind comprehends that the fire is out, and that the burning in leg is the most intense pain I've felt in this universe, I know they've had a long time to kill me. They must have decided that the crazy lady who decided to roll the fire out wasn't worth killing just yet. I don't know. My mind is uncomprehending as I lay face down catching deep breaths for the first time since awakening.

All I can think of is Cinna's voice saying that one line, Katfir, the girl on fire. I don't know if I am thinking straight, not thinking, or just completely incapable of thought. My thigh is burning as if Devth* has wrapped his hands around my thigh and is burning with the fires that scald only this hot in hell. I suppose that was the Gamemakers intention. It's an understandable tactic, but it doesn't stop me from cursing them through so many times, in my head as I am not that senseless, that I wasn't sure if they wouldn't all just fall dead at their tables.

I just pray that Cinna, the smart man that he is would have realized the same as I had, was not blaming himself. He did not see this coming; no one could and there was no blaming him for this. In some ways I'm thinking it might have been better to just have Cinna dress me naked in that chariot after all. They haven't fired at me again, even in my moment of panic, so that means an attack must be imminent. That is the only reason they would stop, as that was their intentions.

In the end, they didn't want me dead. That may be the only reason I lived through it as I did. It's common knowledge that if they wanted they could kill us all. That's not the spirit of the Hunger Games, even though sometimes they do kill us, just to remind us that they can. The Capital loves to watch the tributes kill each other, as if it isn't real.

Through the pain and the black, stinky smoke that is still billowing from the no longer approaching wall of fire, I rise to my feet. I couldn't go for cover here; I would be killed by the deadly smoke. This in mind I limp away from the fire and out, towards a random direction that I'm not sure where leads. I'm almost convinced that anywhere short of the cornucopia it is better than here.

I know I'm an easy target, with my injury and my smoke inhalation it's unlikely that I'd be able to keep my guard up long enough to fight someone off. I'm not saying I'd take it lying down, but I'm still an easy enough target with the injury knocking off most of my more flexible defenses.

It's not to longer before the sun begins to break over the horizon and my eyes have to squint to see the beautiful picture it makes. It reminds me of all the times that I used to spend halted by that same picture. All of those times I'd halted in tracking food, or making my way to clean for Haymitch. The sight reminded me how quick my life had been torn apart by one little slip of paper with Katniss' name on it.

I think about drawing my knife, to protect myself but it won't do much good. It's not like I could lunge to use it, and I'm not even sure that I could hold it steady, or even hold it. My hands are trembling from the intense stab of unbearable pain that my already aching thigh sends when it stretches to walk. I'm not stupid, I know that if I don't treat this burn some how things are going to go downhill fast but there is nothing that I know of in all of my knowledge that could help me. I've never been one for medical knowledge, but I can guarantee that's going to be fixed in the future.

I'm so incased in my pain that I'm in halfway up my legs before I notice the pool I'm in. It's feed by a spring and it's blissful coolness nearly brings me down to my tired, bruised knees. I didn't bother hiding it. Instead I sunk to but, dropping until my thigh is sunk in a heavenly coolness. I couldn't stop the moan of relief that escapes me as the water flows peacefully, soothingly over my blistered thigh burn. I don't have the spirit to truly examine the wound.

I let my hands sink into the water to. The fingernail polish is coming off now. Good. Honestly right now I could do with no reminders of the gamekeepers, the Capital, or anyone that has recently pissed me off.

Burns are actually common in the Seam. The problem is that I've never stuck around long enough to see them, or hear how to treat them. I've always had somewhere to be, something that needs doing. Looking back it was an oversight on my side, but what could I really do now? Prim would know what to do with the burn. Sweet little Prim has always been good at helping people, and has never flinched at someone's wounds. Well, as long as it wasn't Katniss' or mine or Mom's. Prim was a soft soul. Katniss though. She was like me. She couldn't stand to be in the same room as someone hurt, and we would always run out when they were brought in for my mother to take care of.

I can't be a baby any more. I sighed and cautiously brought my thigh up. I swear the whine I let out isn't even human when I see the damage that is my leg. The only thing that I can be thankful for is that it isn't blackened, or down to the bone. I know that the cameras have probably caught my reaction, but at this moment I can honestly care less. The wound is bright, stinging red and covered in blisters. It's not too bad to soak thankfully, but it feels as if it'll burn off any moment. Tentatively I took the knife from the backpack and cut a bit of the fabric around the wound of, to clear away some of the irritation for when I eventually managed to get myself walking again. For now I dipped my thigh back into the water.

I know I should probably be moving on, the smoke is even beginning to clear from the air, I can see it. It's not healthy yet by any means but I wouldn't go back that way. I suppose I'm lucky that I stumbled upon this place, or I'd have been hunting again for water. It passes my mind that my senses, my not so mortal ones, are wanting to heal the wound. I think, just for a split second about letting them. I know the consequences though, so I am forced to allow the natural healing process to take place.

If I moved out, farther away from the fire I'm more likely to run straight to the blades of the career pack. I couldn't bear to part my thigh from the water anyways. Every time I do the stinging of the burn comes back tenfold. I use this time to be productive as well. I got my gear back in order, sliding the knife to an easily accessible place in my pants. With that taken care of I filled my water bottle and treated it, beginning to slowly rehydrate myself – again. I forced myself, praying that my stomach would behave, to eat one or two of my crackers. My sleeping bag was hardly damaged in the mad run, only carrying a few black marks.

My jacket though. It's burned to a crisp, scorched and stinking at least a foot of the back is beyond my help. When I'm done with cutting off the unusable parts all I have left is a jacket that comes down to my ribs, more suitable for the 21st century then now. At the very least the hood is intact which will come in handy if they decide to make it rain.

With my last bit of rabbit I make a meal out of some eatable roots nearby. I was too tired, near the point of collapse to do anything and my thigh protests any kind of movement from me. So instead of doing what I know I should, which is climbing a tree and sleep, I arrange my pack to be on back, in case I need to leave in a hurry and lay back upon the ground. I couldn't move to save my life. What was the point anyways? Sitting here and watching the sun make its slow way across the sky seems like an acceptable way to do it. If the Careers want me, they can find me.

I slowly and lightly drift into a calm, painful sleep.

Find me they do. It's sheer luck that I'm ready to move. When I hear them, through the haze of sleep, I have less than a minute to jerk myself out of the water and start running. My thigh burns, but it isn't the most pressing matter. What is the most pressing is the sluggishness in which they move, to exhausted and stretched from the running I've been doing. I won't last long running. I hear the raspy coughs the others are giving, and I thank God that I was over that now.

It doesn't matter, like a real pack would they are closing in on me, and quickly. So I fall back on what I know to help. I kept running until a short distance away I found a tree with just the right amount of limbs, and high enough to be safe and I start to climb. My thigh is now screaming, protesting having been taken from the water, and my legs and arms are stiff but nonetheless by the time they reach me I'm at least twenty feet up the tree.

I pause and my eyes fall on the people below me. For a moment it's nothing but surveying each other, checking the damage. All six of them are there, even my old pal Peeta is there. The only happiness I get is that they are pretty beat up. But they have weapons, and all I have is a knife that is absolutely on good for throwing. They are grinning, they've realized that I'm an 'easy' target and they've found me at the right moment. However they are big, and if what I've heard of the districts is right, they are useless when it comes to climbing. I'm smaller, more flexible, yes even with my thigh injury.

I have the advantage so I smile. "How's everything with you?" I call down, teasing. My voice is raspy and faintly I realize that this is maybe the first time I've really talked to anyone since I came into this arena. The careers are surprised by my cheek.

"Well enough," says the boy from District 2. "Yourself?" He plays along.

"It's been a bit warm for my taste." I answer. The laugh from the capital is almost seeable. It's the reaction I need, to make up for my panic attack. I take it a step farther. "The air's better up here. Why don't you come on up?" I asked, scaling another limb for show, and it sends a jolt of pain to my thigh that I ignore. I can't afford to let up now.

"Think I will." The boy said again. The girl moves forward.

"Here, take this." She said and my eyes zeroed in on the axe she handed him. It was _my _axe. How dare them. Do they really think that I can't dodge that? There is no way that they have as much experience with it that I do. Just the sight of my axe in their hands makes me angry. I want to jump down and rip it from their hands but I'm injured, and the cameras are no doubt on us. If I were to try and kill them, there are six of them, I'll with no hesitation be called out on it. How do I explain it? A little starved girl from District 12 murdering people who've trained for the Hunger Games all of their lives. I look to Peeta, but he's intentionally avoiding my gaze. It only makes me sneer.

"No," Cato says, dragging my attention back to the boy. He pushed away the axe. "I'll do better with my sword." I can see it now, short, heavy blade at his belt. When Cato begins climbing, already having trouble hoisting himself onto the branches I begin to climb higher. It makes my thigh burn with the heat of a thousand suns, as cliché as that sounds. Part of my expertise at this is practice. The other part is a little bit of…supernatural help. You have to know exactly where to plant your hands and feet, and how to tell when a limb is rotten on the inside.

I'm another thirty feet in the air when I hear the crack. Cato is flailing on the ground. I hope he broke his neck, but he didn't. The next second he's up and cursing a storm. Glimmer, as I hear the girl with the axe called, tries next, and fails but at least she had enough brain power to stop when the limbs begin to crack ominously. I'm at the very least, eighty feet high then the ground. At one point one of them, I can't tell which, tries to shot me with a bow, and it comes to my attention that she can't shot. In fact I'd say she's completely incompetent with it. She doesn't try the axe, probably a good thing if her bow and arrow skills are anything to go by. One of the arrows though lodges in the tree close to me and I teasing climb another foot to retrieve it, only to wave it above them.

I watched them group together, taking this time to cautiously make a seat out of one of the limbs. My thigh is burning but I don't know if I can touch it without it getting worse. The Careers are hissing at each other angrily, pissed that I've made them look stupid in front of the cameras. It was much easier than I thought it would be.

They are losing their window of opportunity and fast, as twilight approached over the hill. Finally I heard Peeta cruelly announce, "Just let her stay up there. It's not like she's going anywhere. We'll deal with her in the morning."

He's right though. Even if I was able to climb down or get onto another tree I would probably fall to my death. The burn has come back full force, now without the water to sooth it. I manage to get into my sleeping bag and into a fork in the tree, with the belt keeping me in. It's impossible to rest though with the pain of the burn pressing on my mind. I tried to drizzle some water on it, but all it did was a short relief.

What does it matter if I make it through the night, what will happen in the morning? I'll be stalked by the Career and they'll only keep trying until they get a lucky shot. I tried to get my mind off of it. The foliage around me was dark and I could see nothing but a pair of eyes, most likely a possums if I knew anything.

But wait. I looked closer sitting up. Those aren't possum eyes. Those are _human _eyes. I can just make her out, with the help of the Career's torch and the light. Rue. Little Rue who helped us through the training, always quiet and affectionate. She reminded me so much of Prim that I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. How long had little Rue been there?

She un-tucked her little arms out from her balls she had made in her tree and pointed to something above me.

*It's pronounced Death, and it's one of her kids, from a story that I haven't made yet. It's on my list though, if you'll look at my poll. In case you want to know, if I do decide to make it Devth is the Joker's kid. Heath Ledger's Joker that is. ;D I just thought you guys deserved that kind of background about her. Don't worry none of her kids are going to miraculously appear in this story.

**So what do you think? I loved it. I worked a lot to get it done. I'm trying to finish the story so I don't have anything holding me back. I'm actually considering not doing the Twilight one. I really have lost my love for that but maybe I can finish it. OR when the next part of Breaking Dawn comes out I can re-love it. Oh well. XD**


	18. With you here beside you

Rue was only five feet away, at most, in the next tree. Had she been there without me knowing it the whole time? At first I don't grasp what she's pointing at but then I looked up and there is a large hive. Flinching I looked back down at Rue. She was now holding up a leave to me and pointing at it. I cautiously watched her put it in her mouth and chew it. I only grew more and more confused as she spit it out and put it on a bump that I could barely make out on her arm. I couldn't lean any closer but with a spike of amusement I watched her fake roll her eyes in bliss and clutch her heart.

She giggled silently and then pointed back to the hive, then the Career pack below me. I smiled at her and at Rue's devious little mind. To show her that I understood I gave her a thumbs up. As soon as I did she grinned, and she was so cute that I almost missed it as she melted into the trees again, probably getting the hell away from here. I would if I were here.

For now I hunted for a tree near me with the leaves she'd shown me. I know what she'd wanted me to do now. I understood her completely and it made me a little sad that a child was forced to understand it. I was lucky. The leaves that she'd flashed me were on the tree beside me. Very, very quietly I shuffled my hands out of my bag and grabbed onto one of the branches that extended just close enough for me to grasp. I watched the Careers, to see if they were aware of what I was doing.

They were completely oblivious, preparing for the coming night instead of watching me. They most likely assumed that I wasn't going anywhere. I don't blame them because as of right now I'm incapable of moving out of the tree I'm in.

Quickly I gathered as many of the leaves as reachable, tugging nearly all of them off of the tree branch, just to be prepared. I tucked them into my backpack, conveniently close to the top. Once I had them secured I carefully observed the hive. There was nothing around it, no bugs but as I looked closer, squinting my heart started to hammer against my chest. I didn't need to see the bugs.

That is a tracker jacker hive. They are larger than regular wasps. Like the mockingjay's these things were enhanced in a lab by the Capital and placed around to kill people. I took shuttering breaths. These particular mutations where one of the most vicious that were made by the Capital. They have gold bodies and a sting that raises a lump the size of a plum and very bad. One sting can cause death in anyone not in good shape. Any more and you'll be seeing hallucinations through the wazoo. To many and it doesn't matter what shape you are in, you're going down almost automatically.

The Tracker part of the name comes from another 'enhanced' part of the wasp. Instead of what regular wasps would do, the whole you leave me alone I'll leave you alone, these wasps will hunt you down and kill you. The Capital destroyed the Tracker jackers nests around their city but the ones around the Districts were left as a reminder, and a punishment for going outside the gates. Not that I've ever gotten stung by one. Merely their reputation has kept me away from their nests.

Now though I see them as a weapon. The night has given me time, as the Careers decided against killing me right away. By morning though they'll form some kind of plane, or they'll hit me, or actually manage to climb the tree. Any way they do it will be bad. If I were to somehow drop the tracker jacker nest on to the Careers, who are by now huddled around a fire on one side of my tree, I can escape. How to do it though?

The tracker jackers themselves don't seem to be out and about, which is very confusing. Carefully, oh so silently, and with as much presecion as I can possibly manage, I haul myself up and into a standing position. I look and to my surprise none of the tracker jackers seem to be anywhere, would I wake them when I cut off the branch? I shouldn't. If my vague memory serves well the smoke puts out insects for a long time, and it's still smoking. Would the sawing that I'll have to do wake the Career pack though? If they realize what I'm doing they'll only move their camp, and that would only defeat the purpose.

Wait...it's getting dark so they'll play the anthem soon won't they? That will be my only chance. When that loud anthem plays I can saw through the branch, and hope that I don't wake up anyone. I tugged myself out of the backpack and carefully began climbing as best I could on the thin branches until I'm right beside the limb with the nest. I tugged my knife out of my belt loops and set it poised and ready on the limb. There still aren't any of the tracker jackers but that doesn't mean there won't be any when I start cutting. I can only hope that I can saw fast enough. I can hear a dull humm, very subdued for tracker jackers, or any kind of bug be it bees or wasps. The smoke must have really knocked them out.

Then the seal of the Capital flickers in the sky and as soon as the anthem begins playing I'm sawing away. It kills me, as the back and forth motion of the knife moves up my arm and already I fill sore but I can't let up. I continue on even as I note that there have been no deaths today. That's okay as for right now the audience will be happy that I'm injured, and that the Career's are about to get a rude awakening. When the music stops I've only made it three fourths of a the way through, not enough.

I'm stumped on what to do, and I looked around hoping some kind of inspiration will fall out of the sky. Right now, I could do it all by just my senses, but that may not be the best idea, and I haven't thought about what if the tracker jackers are to drowsey or maybe they get caught on the way down and I can't tell that they will? This is a dangerous decision to make.

In the end I decided to wait, so I climb back down to wait out the dawn. I twitched, almost groaning aloud as my thigh stings more passionately then before, as if it had just been burned at this moment. I inched carefully back to my fork in the tree, where my bag awaits again and I nearly sob out my feelings as I see what is waiting for me there. A small plastic pot attached to a deflated parachute sits neatly on top of my bag. I contained my excitement only through sheer force of will. I make myself wait until I'm safely on my fork again, belted in though this time I stay outside of my sleeping bag, to keep the leg visible.

Picking up the small pot I unscrewed it and inside was some kind of cream in a small jar. Curiously I stuck my fingers into the cream and frowned. What would they give me this for? My thigh burned and I looked down at it. It was the only wound I have. Cautiously I touched my sticky hands to the center of the burn and automatically my eyes rolled into the back of my head in relief. The constant burn in my leg was finally being soothed and I groaned as I smoothed the cream over the burned area until it was everywhere on it.

"Oh, Thank you Haymitch." I groaned reveling in the feeling of bliss coming from my thigh. I carefully, making sure not to waste any of the miracle stuff, capped it after smoothing the layer over my festering wound. With the pain gone I'm beginning to feel the effects of being awakened earlier. Without much thought my mind slips into a light sleep, always alert and ready.

So when a bird starts singing near me, my mind automatically wakes me up. When my eyes fluttered open I looked around me to see the trees. It didn't hit me until a few seconds pasted that I could _see _the trees. Sitting up, swinging my legs soundlessly to either side of the tree branch I examined my thigh wound. In the dull light of the dawning sky I could see the once horrific burn was beginning to fade. My leg still feels…inflamed but that burn is much deeper. I smoothed another thin layer over the wound before placing the pot securely into my backpack, which I carefully swung onto my shoulders with everything repacked into it.

What happens next would be quick and probably painful. I made sure again that I had a few leaves on hand to put on any of the stings. At least, I'm _hoping _that's what Rue meant for me to do with it. Before I start though I take a little time to eat some beef strips and drink a few cups of water. My stomach had settled but almost nothing was left in it because of my vomiting yesterday.

Looking down to the Career's I can see that they are all asleep, even the guard who they'd left awake last night had fallen asleep sitting on a rock, holding my battle axe. I wanted to rip her head off, to do something. I needed that battle axe. With the battle axe I could probably win this tournament with no questions asked. I'm very good with an axe and with it taking them out will be as easy as cutting cake.

Before I started sawing I looked again out into the woods. I couldn't see my little helper, but that didn't mean that she wasn't there. "Rue," I called softly, trying not to awaken the pack below me. Rue practically melted out of the shadows only a few yards from me. I held up my knife and made a sawing motion. The intelligent little girl nodded before disappearing. I listened carefully and I could just hear her swinging away on the branches of trees. That was clever. There were no other tributes that could accomplish that feat I bet, not even me. Rue was the lightest and the most accustomed to trees, being from the agriculture district.

I shook my head, trying to focus again. It was time for me to start, and if I didn't start soon the noise would be noticeable, or they would be up by then. When I was positioned in the correct spot, perfect for sawing the rest of the tree limb when I see something moving, on the nest. It's a tracker jacker. It's a little subdued, seeming to stumble but the brightness of it's color and the movement means they are awake, and dangerous. If one is awake, I'll bet my knife the others will soon follow.

Without having to think about I hurriedly started sawing through in the grove that I made yesterday. They begin buzzing in the hive and I begin to panic when I feel the sting of one right on my knee. I groaned but kept going, determined to do this. The others will come soon anyways, if I don't get them away from me and focused on another target. The moment my knife breaks through the branch I sling the branch away from me. It goes crashing through the branches below but it hits its mark, landing right in the mitts of the sleeping people below.

The hive burst open not unlike a piñata and I watch, unable to move as mayhem breaks out. I feel a second sting, on my cheek, and a third one on my neck. I flicked my hand, sending them away and then I fumbled with the leaves, putting them in my mouth to begin chewing them like my little helper did. Looking at the stings I have enough knowledge to know to pull the stingers out but the mutated wasp's venom is already making me woozy. Luckily for me my only injuries are these three as now the insects are focused on my enemies, on the ground.

The Careers have awoken and are stumbling away, some if not most are screaming and I understand even as I spit out the green goop of saliva and chewed leave and put it all over the stings. The sharp agonizing pain that had just begun to start stops and I let out pitiful moans of relief, even while I watched the chaos below.

A few of them, I can't see who they are for the pandemonium, have the good sense to drop everything and run. I hear cries from them to head towards the lake and I'm disappointed that they know to head to the lake. Even if it's mean and cruel, they started this, not me. All though, the lake must be close if they think they can out run the furious onslaught of the wasps.

There were two who weren't fast enough, Glimmer and some girl that I hadn't recognized. The girl got away, barely. She probably wouldn't make it to the lake but Glimmer was a lost cause. The tracker jackers swarmed in a mass around her, and I watched in disgust and still slight hallucination as they sting her and she clutches on tight to the battle axe as if it was her last life line, swinging it at them pointlessly. I watch as the pretty girl falls to the ground, twitches, screams, and tries to beat them away hysterically. Then she lies still and the tracker jackers zoom off to where they saw the others go. I hear the cannon sound but I'm not paying attention to it.

Instead I'm making sure no more of the foul things are here. I'm sure that they won't come back, as they are much more intelligent then insects usually are. They will probably give up, once they can't get into the water to the other careers, and start anew where ever they can, and it won't be here. Still I wait a long few minutes, taking care of my own stings which are already going down, and then climb down the tree. I'm very cautious, looking everywhere for a sign of the bright yellow backs of the tracker jackers.

Slowly and with great trepidation I find my way over to Glimmer. She's horribly looking and I have to clamp my hand over my mouth to stop the scream and vomit from erupting. The once beautiful, if not down right slutty, girl is now mangled and mutated by the stings on the girls body. She has red, large, to large pumps from where the wasps have stung her and they are nearly pulsing as the stingers continue to send the venom into her dead carcass. She seemed to be nearly twice the size she had been, and I tried desperately to grab the axe without touching her but her swollen fingers won't release the axe.

I pick up a stone and to my own horror break her fingers away from the axe. I grimace and grab the axe, stumbling away still a little woozy from the tracker jacker stings. They aren't nearly as bad as what caused Glimmers death but I had put the leaves on them before they were even 30 seconds old. Now I ran, clearing my head with the wind, so that I could make it back to my little pond, and I submerged myself, for both comfort, and to help get rid of the last of the effects left by the tracker jacker venom. I dropped the axe and my bag on the bank and I let myself soak up the water, but I wasn't given a minutes peace before I heard the sound of someone's stumbling feet in the brush. I quickly moved myself out of the water and to the axe.

If they think that I am going to let them take me then they are mistaken, I now have an axe. With this axe I could most likely kill all of the tributes in this place.

But the person who breaks through the brush isn't who I was expecting, Peeta. Why is he back here? Is he hunting me? But he is in no shape to hunt. He has three stings right off the bat that I can see, one on his cheek and two on his right arm, while now I spot another one pulsing by his ear. He will be a goner if I don't treat them.

"W-What?" Peeta asks the air, looking a little to my left. He must be hallucinating. I, in a split second decision, drop my axe and pull Peeta down, so that I could pull the stings out. He's to far gone to notice, already seeing things and he hadn't had the knowledge that I had so he didn't know to pull the stingers out. I hurriedly stuffed some more of the many leaves that I had into my mouth and began to work. The Careers would be in no shape to find us now, and if they tried I now had a chance of beating all of them without them even seeing it coming.

I tugged off Peeta's jacket and shirt and looked for any more stings, finding one on the right, or was it his left, side of his chest. He was lucky. I'm sure that if it had been on his heart he would not have made it no matter what I did. I pulled all of the stingers out and worked constantly but once the stings were taken care of I noticed he had fallen into an unconscious state.

I needed to find us somewhere to hide, just in case I was wrong and a few of the others made it without any stings, as unlikely as that is. There. Downstream I can see a burrow in the rocks, just a little ways away from the water. Had I been so in pain before that I had not noticed or had the gamekeepers decided that we deserved it? I heaved Peeta's moaning form onto my shoulders, via his arm, and began to slowly drag him to where I could see the awaiting burrow.

It was a long process, longer then I would have wanted it to be but Peeta was a growing man if I dare call him that and he was heavy. I didn't know why I was doing this. It would probably make me look soft but I needed to know why Peeta would betray me. He did know that if he killed me my sister would never forgive him right? I'm almost positive that he does love my sister but when he wakes I will have my answers.

**Do you love it? Right now is when the plot line deviates the most from the story line. Peeta lovers beware. I hope you guys loved it and also this story has been nominated for the Energizer Work In Progress (W.I.P.) Award you should go vote for it. It's easy to find, just google that name. It can be voted on from now until November 20th 2012. Is it already passed that date? I don't know... I hope you guys loved this chapter. I was very pleased with how it came out.**


	19. Anywhere you go

**Haymitch POV**

**Seeing her hurt did horrible things to him. He hadn't slept a full night since the games began. He would never forgive himself if she needed him and he wasn't there. She was already hurt, with that burn and those stings. He couldn't fathom what was passing through her mind right now to take that boy with her. He had to trust her though. **

**She didn't deserve this treatment, and yet she seemed to be really good at what she is doing. It didn't make since to him, but he wasn't complaining. He just needed her to come back to him. Sitting here in the mentors viewing area, he had already gotten the notice. It sat beside him. They were going to be making some changes, and he didn't know if it was a good thing, or a bad thing. He just knew that his little fire was going to make it through this, because her spark was too far from being extinguished.**

Once inside of the cave I ended up taking care of Peeta. He was very hurt, and I needed him to wake up, to answer my questions. I don't know what I was thinking of doing, seeing as Peeta would probably try and take me down when he woke up. I had my axe with me but every time I thought of just taking him out, and not asking any questions, I was reminded of all of those days with Peeta just talking, or sleeping.

That would never happen again. I would never sit with Peeta. When I get out of here, Peeta wouldn't be there with the rest of my family waiting on me. He'd be in a box in the ground by then. For now I'd tried to make him comfortable. I've placed his head on top of the bag and beside me I had the axe, with the knife in my pocket.

I didn't trust him here alone, by himself, or with my things. So I had to wait. Really, I should be getting food, or setting up traps but instead I was waiting for this traitor to awaken. Stabbing him when he came through the trees would have been a better idea, but also a hasty one. Doing anything without all the facts is never a good idea, because you're taking a gamble.

Movement. Peeta was waking up. I grabbed my axe in one hand and laid it across my knees as he came to. His wounds were bad, he hadn't been treated right away, but they should be fine by now, after all it had been half a day. I couldn't imagine what was happening in the rest of the ring, seeing as most of the time they'd have started something already. It's possible that my stunt might have gained me some leeway.

As soon as Peeta's eyes fluttered open my hands clenched around my battle axe and he met my eyes. It didn't take him long to try and jump up, only to fall against the other side of the alcove. "Fir?" Peeta questioned. "I can explain." His eyes were wide in panic, and he was glancing all around the cave, looking for any hidden traps that I might have installed. I hadn't not out of not wanting to, but because I thought it would only hinder me in this small space and cause my own death.

"You had better start. Now." I ordered, tapping the axe. Peeta's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed.

"I had a plan. I was infiltrating the Career pack. I was going to turn on them when we found you. I wouldn't betray you like that." Peeta looked into my eyes. I didn't believe him though.

"That is a stupid excuse." I bluntly told him.

"Please, you have to believe me. I was th-thinking that maybe you would be killed, so I didn't have to do it." He said, and his hands went to the assorted stings on his body.

"Don't worry about them, I treated them. You'd best worry about my axe." I threatened, lifting the large axe, with only one arm in use.

"I had the details and everything. We can band together, and defeat the career pack. After that we can go after the others until it's just us. When it's just us we can agree to wait a certain amount of time before going after each other." Peeta pleaded sitting and clutching his pants. I pursed my lips in thought.

"How can I trust you, Peeta? You _betrayed _what little faith I had in you. We _never _lied to each other. People like us, in the lower Districts, _never _pack with the careers. You are a disgrace." I got angry, standing as best I could with my axe in my hand and the ceiling of the cave made my head bend.

"Katfir, remember that time, when it was Prim's first time in the reaping? You were to busy trying to calm Katniss down about it, that I had to talk Prim down. Remember when you saw her again because she was so calm? I told her how you and your sister had a one in a thousand chance of being chosen. I told her that no matter what, that my family and I would always be there for her." My anger flickered, and died. Prim. Katniss. My eyes watered but I grimaced.

"Don't bring my family into this Peeta." I warned. "Get to your point."

"Trust me like Prim does, please. I want to make it up to her. I can't be there for her, but I can make sure you are." This time Peeta and I's eyes locked. Could I trust him? He looked so sincere and I slacked. This was the Peeta that I remembered.

"I still can't trust you yet Peeta." I told him but I stuck my hand out. "If you shake my hand, and go back on your word, I will make every second of your death as painful as taking a spear four inches from the heart." Peeta hesitated but shook my hand. I breathed out and slumped down.

"Great. That's over with." I announced. "Note, please don't bring my family up again. I'm trying not to think about it." I told Peeta. He noted, relaxing a little bit at a time. "What now?" I asked, looking to Peeta. He looked lost.

"My plan was blown already." Peeta cautiously told me and I rolled my eyes. I didn't need to trust him to be this way with him. I was good right now, I had my axe and I was good with hand to hand. He couldn't kill me, and if it was just him that I managed to kill then there would be fewer questions down the road then had it been someone else, who hadn't betrayed me. I couldn't imagine what it was like for people watching. Especially Haymitch. How did he feel, watching me in the games. I was suddenly thankful that I did not remember his games.

I turned to the point of the cave when I heard a noise and I slowly rose from my place on the ground, holding my hand out to Peeta, to keep him still. It was all for naught. The only thing it was, was the rain. I sighed and looked around me. I needed to disguise this place.

"Come on. You can help me get some vines, do something to keep this place hidden." I told Peeta, motioning him out. It took him a minute because he wobbled on his feet but he should be just fine. True, he was. We managed to gather vines, and Peeta actually worked his camouflage magic only had, as his weapon a small dagger. He gained a bit of my trust back with it as he mushed pieces from nature together with the handle to make paint, and then camouflage everything.

"What do you have to eat?" I asked Peeta now as we sat in the cave trying to dry out. "We need to think of something." I took out my resources. I barely had any food left. "We'll divide it up, in case we get split up." I told Peeta, taking hold of my own amount, and giving him a fair amount. I was going to trust him, to an extent but if he stepped one toe out of line I swear I'll cut him to pieces, no matter how much of a friend he was to me in District 12.

"How many are left? I know Glimmer, and the girl from District four are out." I asked Peeta, munching on a cracker while Peeta tries to eat. I can't imagine what horrors he had seen in the midst of his tracker jacker fueled hallucinations. What had happened to him in the career camp? Now that I think about it logically, they wouldn't have just accepted Peeta with open arms. It had been proof enough when he'd walked away to kill that girl, and I'd heard them bad mouth both him and me.

They were such sick beings, hunting us that can't do anything, but that would probably be how I would do it if I was them. I couldn't bear to think what I would do to them, and I can't sympathize for them, even if it is the Capital's fault that this happened.

In the end Peeta and I both decide that in the dusk of night we can manage a fire, and that I can beat the others off. I trust Peeta enough to stay in the cave as I take my things and go hunting, catching some kind of bird that looked as if it was a turkey. That is the first moment that the viewers can see my deadliness with an axe. The bird had been fifteen feet away and I'd just heard it before I reared back and threw the axe, chopping its head straight off of its shoulders. It felt good to be able to hunt with an axe again. A few minutes later I have a rabbit as well.

I took my time plucking and fixing the bird when I returned to the cave. The rabbit didn't take long to skin and fix either. Peeta was there, and he tried to keep up conversation but it was half-hearted at best. There was too much to think about, too much to worry about really.

"Tell me something." Peeta cut into my thoughts. I looked away from the food to him. My conscious hadn't been there for a long time.

"What?" I asked him, looking back down at the food.

"I don't know. Something you've never told me before." Peeta said, shuffling in his little spot by the burning coals. We'd set food onto the coals already and now we were only waiting on the bird to cook. It shouldn't take much longer.

"I've told you everything. You were my best friend, Peeta." Neither of us comments on the past tense. I didn't mean to bring up his betrayal again, but it was hard not to when I'd known him for so long and he'd still done it.

"Well, tell me some kind of memory." Peeta urged. I thought for a second. It was getting dark outside now and there had been no deaths tonight, because there were no cannons.

"Okay. When Mom got pregnant with Prim I didn't know what that meant." I started, laying back a bit. "She had walked up to me and her belly was really big by that time and I asked her why. She realized that I didn't know what was really going on and she got Dad. Dad had taken me out to a quiet place and sat me down. He'd said, 'Fir, you know how we told you that your momma was going to bring us a new baby?'." I looked at Peeta. "Dad told me that Momma was blaming getting fatter on the baby, because she wanted to eat a lot. Mom found out when I tried to get her to admit she was getting fatter. Dad got chewed out for that. Momma finally just told me that she had to carry Prim in her tummy so that she'd be safe." I finished. Peeta laughed.

"That's horrible." He grinned and I smiled at him.

"You should have been there when I told Prim. She'd only been two." I laughed with him. "She was so freaked out that she couldn't look Mom and Dad in the face for two days straight." Peeta cracked up. I chuckled with him, moving the food from the fire so we could eat.

"Do you ever want kids?" Peeta asked me. I stopped moving.

"I don't know…I've never thought of it." I wondered. "I don't think I do. I've got people depending on me, and they'd never really be safe. They'd always be living with something over their shoulders, never happy." I could picture it now. Both me and Haymitch in the victors housing with two little kids, one girl and one boy and both of them living with the hate of both their parents being victors. None of the other kids would like them because they were better off. Then the fear of being in the reaping. Of going through what their parents went through. Then if they made it past that, the horribleness of having to mine every day or being stuck in a rut.

I couldn't wish that on them. I wouldn't give birth to a lost cause. I could only hope that Haymitch didn't want to start a family. The moment he would turn his eyes on me and speak the words I'd fall to his mercy and give birth to child after child. I loved Haymitch to much not to let him have it if he wanted.

"I would." Peeta said, looking into the fire. "They'd be wonderful, gorgeous if they had Katniss' looks." I startled and looked at him and he flushed.

"So you really do love my sister." I noted. "I'm sure she likes you to." I chuckled. "She's probably freaking out because I'm telling this to you but she was always asking after you. She wanted to know everything you were doing, if you were sick, or getting enough food. She definitely had a thing for you." I told him and then I turned teasing. "Why, I have no idea."

"Shut up." Peeta laughed at me.

"Nah," I bit into a piece of the turkey thing and Peeta picked up his half. We didn't need to talk about it; it was nice to have my friend back, even if I was still suspicious of him every time he moved even a little bit near my weapons.

"We should talk about what we are going to do next." Peeta said, taking another bite. I snorted.

"What could we possibly do? I've been running around trying to avoid the careers and they just keep-" My brain connected and I sat up. What if…What if we didn't try to hide from the careers. What if for once we took the initiative?

"What? What is it?" Peeta asked, looking around for something that could have stopped me from talking but I shushed him.

"Peeta, what if we didn't wait around anymore. Do you know where the Careers are? What they are doing?" I urged, scooting forward. Peeta blinked before his eyes widened.

"Oh, no. We'd never make it Katfir. We'd be killed before we even killed one of them. Even with your axe you can't beat all of them." Peeta reasoned. I deflated.

"Well. What if their attention wasn't on their camp?" I asked, trying to think up some sort of plan. "I've got an axe and a knife so if one or two stay at the camp I should be fine." I picked up everything and looked at what we had. I was so excited about this idea.

"How are we going to get their attention away from the camp? And why do we won't their attention away from the camp?" Peeta asked, trying to get in on my excitement. Maybe we weren't as close as we were, and we couldn't read each other's minds like we could.

"The careers haven't been taught to survive. They come from a rich district, where they are only taught to kill everyone in the arena, and then it's over. What if we destroy their supplies? When I left the cornucopia they were gathering everything up. Do they still have all of it?" I asked him and he nodded, listening intensely. "Well if they didn't have that they wouldn't be able to function, because they don't really know how to survive without it do they?" I looked at the fire and built on the idea. "Tonight I could go look it over and wait until dawn. You could set up some fires, close enough together that you don't have to run far between them. Then you can light them and they'll go after them. I could get the supplies then."

"But Katfir, they have the supplies surrounded, by bombs." Peeta told me and I looked at him.

"What?" How did they manage that?

"The boy from the manufacturing districts. He reprogrammed the bombs and put them around the supplies. Unless you know where to walk you won't succeed." Peeta told me. "They never told me how to do it. They barely trusted me enough to let me sleep.

"Well, I have the knife. I can think of a way when I get there. It's time for us to take the offense Peeta, and we can do it if we try." I told him, bending down in my excitement, getting ready. I knew which way the cornucopia was, this river led out to it, or Peeta said it did. "Can you set up the fires?" I asked him and he nodded, looking overwhelmed.

"But Katfir, what happens if one of us gets in trouble." Peeta asked, following me outside of the cave.

"Remember when we were little and we'd whistle through town and we'd always hear it? Try that. If you get in trouble, don't lead them back but try to make it here. I'll come as soon as I can but if neither of us is here when night comes then we're dead." I told him, and I stopped in my haste to look at Peeta.

"What now?" Peeta asked, running both of his hands through his blonde hair. He'd need to cut it when we got out of here.

"I just want to trust you on this." I quietly told him. "Don't let me down." I turned, not giving him time to answer as I began sneaking off into the distance. When I was far enough away that Peeta couldn't see I threw caution to the wind and flared my eyes open with senses unhuman like. The humans wouldn't notice the gold leaking into my green eyes with the darkness but now I could see fine in the darkness. It was a trait I'd picked up when I was younger, in a different place and with a different body.

It worked like magic. With just that slight change in my eyes I could see anything, just as clear as I could see in the daylight. The details in the leaves with my eyes like this was amazing, and I wish that I could see this well all the time, but in the daylight someone would notice my weird eyes and I'd probably get to distracted. I'd become an experiment for humans.

I snuck my way through the night, following the river which true to Peeta's word lead out into the lake by the clearing. I snuck around the trees and looked in on the careers from the high vantage point of one of the trees surrounding them. I even treated my burns, and my barely there stings now because I hadn't wanted Peeta to know that I was injured more than it was noticeable.

It was ingenious. I could just see the piles of dirt around the large mound of boxes filled with supplies. There was everything there, weapons, food, and even luxuries like a tarp. They had one tarp spread out over them, and they'd forged a tent out of it. I could see their masses sleeping already. They didn't have to worry because no one sought the career pack out on purpose. They would have to worry soon though.

It had only taken me maybe an hour to get here, so I set up camp with a little bitterness. I was in a tree again, and the last time hadn't been so fabulous. I was too excited though, scoping out the place. The cornucopia itself was left bare, probably to enclosed for them, in case they did get caught and forced into it. They'd have been killed, probably.

For the night I slept, my alarms on high just in case anything did happen.

When I did I awoke to screams of alarm from the careers. I was disoriented for a moment, nearly falling from my perch. I had the bag over me, keeping me still with my belt just like old times, except now I held the knife in my hand. My intense eyes nearly had me blinded until I closed them, letting the color, and the intensity fade. When I opened them again I was shocked to see that the Careers were scrambling around, gathering weapons.

Then I looked up and into the distance, seeing smoke coming from the piles. Peeta had started, I was late. The sun was shining, what had blinded me, and I scrambled to noiselessly, and unnoticeably get myself to where I needed to be. I knew who were left, the boy from District one, both from two and Thresh, Rue, and Peeta and I. There was also the one from District three, the one who must have rigged the bombs.

I dropped to the ground to watch the Careers head out to run to what they must think are stupid people lighting fires. The first one was up, but I don't know how many Peeta lit. It came to me to wonder how he even got them lit. There is someone I'm forgetting but they aren't with the careers so I didn't panic.

"He's coming. We need him in the woods, and his job's done here anyway. No one can touch those supplies." The boy, Cato, that's his name? Didn't I know it before? I think so. He's arguing about the boy from District three.

"What about Lover Boy?" The boy from District One says.

"I keep telling you, forget him. He was useless when he was here, and he'll be useless out there. Especially if the District 12 girl gets ahold of him." He pointed at the other boy. He picks up a spear that had been laying on the ground beside him and thrusts it into the hands of the silent boy from District three. I didn't remember anything about him, his score, his interview, or even his costume. He was only the boy who had rigged the bombs but that should be enough for me to remember him now.

Then they leave, and the last thing I hear out of them is from Cato. "If we find her, I take her out. She's mine." I shivered, despite me being who I am, and being capable of what I am. That boy is psychotic, and thirsts for blood. When they are all gone I dropped from the tree and snuck into the field, making sure I was unnoticed. Just before I stepped into the field itself, and became visible, the girl with the fiery hair and the one we could never remember comes running out.

Fascinated, I watched as she jumped carefully around all of the little dirt piles, almost tripping over one before she made it to the pile. She was good, I could see her strategy now. She must have been waiting for them to leave so she could take her turn in stealing their food and making off with it. How long had she been doing that? Had she been following me and I just hadn't know it? The possibilities were endless. She grabbed things, but not noticeable amounts. She begins taking little amounts from different crates, getting cheese from a crate, apples from a net sack that hung at the top of the pyramid like structure, and even some crackers just like mine from a box.

I held my breath as she bounced back down, and carefully jumped over the planted bombs, even twirling around some of them until she was free and running through the trees again. I quietly took my turn risking my life.

When I came out, holding my axe in the ready position I passed by the medal plates that we rose up from when we first came to this arena. There was dirt that had been dug up, and then patted back down. So they had got the mines from there. The ones that were disabled after sixty seconds.

It wouldn't take a lot of pressure to activate them. My mind is slowly coming up with an answer. One year a girl dropped her token, a wooden ball that bounced mysteriously, and they'd literally scraped bits of her from off of the ceiling of the arena the explosion had gone so high.

I glanced back out. A second fire had been lit and I breathed out. I needed to hurry. I didn't know how the boy had placed the mines, but I knew that the best way to destroy the pile would be to activate the mines.

I assessed the situation as best I could but I couldn't think of everything. Trying to set one off wouldn't help, what if he placed them so that I couldn't let but one mine go off. I needed all of them to go off in a chain reaction.

My eyes scanned the area for something. Then my eyes rest on the bag of apples. They were held up by one rope. The bag didn't have elastic, not that I could see. If I could split that rope, and release the apples they would get the trick done, probably. I couldn't lose my ae though. I needed it. Then the pressure in my pocket reminded me of the knife. I pursed my lips before slowly taking it out and looking around me for any noticeable danger.

Then I took a deep breath and let it out, focusing. I forgot about how much rested on this throw and I pretended that this was just another day in the woods and that I could make this with a hand tied behind my back.

And when the knife was cast forward from my hands all I could see was the bag splitting, and the apples tumbling. I realized to late that even standing where I was, at the edge of the field, I was in line of danger.

Then the blast hit and I was slammed back.

**What's up? I'm trying to finish this story so I posted this chapter. I might not split the next that I write up. I don't know. My goal is to finish this story before the weekend is up, or at the max the week. I don't want to have to worry about this over Christmas, and plus I think you deserve to get this done now. I mean how long have I been writing this story?**

**I have finished my JasperOC story, the first one. **

**Did I tell you guys that I won't be writing this story for Catching Fire, or all of the rest. I didn't read Catching Fire because I was told what happens in it. Sorry.**

**This'll be the end when it's done. Hopefully soon.**


	20. Let me go

There were no words for the level of pain that came through me as the blast hit me. The world went white around me and the world tipped and turned and twisted until I didn't know what was going on and then I was hit into something that made my lungs shutter and my brain stutter, my heart trying to catch up with its coworkers by stopping. My leg seared with pain, and my body collapsed, falling feet that I didn't know the length of.

Everything hurt, my eyes wouldn't do what I told them and someone was screaming a high pitched agony filled scream. I realized when my throat constricted and the noise stopped that it was coming out of my lips and I cried out again in pain as I stumbled trying to get up, sending another bolt of pain through me. My backpack had done little to protect me and my leg was damaged beyond return. I wasn't going to make it anywhere on it.

My body was twitching with undeniable pain and I groaned, trying to reach the cover of the trees as every sense in my body went through over load. My limbs ached, and my lungs were wheezing to supply me with air. I could see again and what I saw was blood dripping down into my eyes and making it only hard to see and my mouth could taste the coppery substance trying to suffocate it.

There were sounds, the careers were coming back. I rushed myself, as fast as I could on my hands and one knee into the bushes, making it in just enough time as they came back into the clearing to see my handy work.

The mess was massive, with the pieces raining from the sky onto the ground, and a raging fire eating up what scraps were left in the explosion. The bombs had done their jobs and destroyed all of everything there. Even the tarp that they'd set up for a tent was in flames. There is nothing for them to salvage, nothing that could have made it through that. I was lucky that I made it through that. I need to get out of here. They'll be looking for me around here. I linger, not only because I want some kind of satisfaction out of what I've done, but also so that I can try and regain what was left of my sanity and physical self.

I somehow, using a tree get myself to my feet and use my shirt to wipe the blood away from my eyes. It's hard; I'm so dizzy that if I try to run fast my body will tip over. I have to keep walking though. I don't have to be too silent, seeing as the still burning wreckage is making enough noise that I can get away, but I have to worry about a blood trail.

I manage to pull my hood up to cover the blood, and my leg, which was so painful that it hurt to put any kind of pressure on it, wasn't necessarily bleeding, or if it was I couldn't see it through these black pants. Now I look for my axe. It's not on the ground but instead it's imbedded in a tree. I can't help but thank God and all the luck he's given me that I hadn't landed on it and impaled myself. While I wouldn't have died, because I am after all Destiny, I would have been gathered up for them to experiment on.

Because in the time it takes me to heal again they would have me captured and bound.

I try my best to make my way back towards the cave, but my body is being unresponsive, jerking and twitching. I couldn't put any pressure on my legs without feeling the urge to vomit onto the ground. I'm rocked to the ground when a stray mine goes off and after two more times I'm in so much pain from it that I decide that no matter how much noise it creates, crawling is better.

The mere thought of Haymitch, or my family seeing me dying painfully, torturously by Cato's hands is the only thought that keeps me moving when my wheezing turns into coughing. I hear a scream from where the careers smoke is coming from and I realize that the boy from the manufacturing district is dead, because they've realized that he's done his job to well. I didn't see the hovercraft with my watering eyes, but I hear the cannon and I'm trying again to go. I don't know if they are coming after me, but I think if they were they would have caught me by now. I'm an easy target.

When I can't make it any farther I collapse at the base of a large tree, hoping it'll give me enough cover. I drop my axe and my backpack from my back and try to gauge how badly wounded I am. My leg is mangled, unmovable even. I've been dragging it along me and all I can feel from it are shattered nerves. I can't heal it myself, it would be very suspicious. My head seems alright from what I can feel of it.

I can feel a cut along the bridge of my hairline but that is it. When night falls and the anthem plays I look up to the sky to see what damage has been done. They show the boy from District Three, and the one from District 10 who must have died sometime in the morning while I was asleep. Then the seal appears, telling them that the bomber survived. They know and they'll be looking for me.

The dizziness has left me, and I can walk on one foot, more like hop. I manage to drag enough of my strength back upon me when so that I can pull a fallen limb near me. It was a little short, but if I used it as a replacement for a leg then I might be able to walk. The first thing I do after that is use some of my stored up water and drink some, using some of it, very little of it, to wash the blood from my face, so I can see better. Then I eat some of my rabbit. It's not good but I don't have a real choice about it.

All I can think about is Peeta. Did he make it back? Is he okay? I can't believe he came through. There was some small part of me, probably the part that broke when he betrayed me and I found out, that hadn't trusted him. I had thought that maybe my Peeta, my best friend, was gone forever to be replaced by some kind of copy that the Capital took and twisted.

The boy from District 1, both from 2, Foxface, both from 11, and 12. That's all of us that are left. They'll be betting like wild on us now, because there are so few left, and they know our strengths. They'll probably drag our families into it, getting interviews and asking our friends questions, except I don't have any friends. It won't matter, as they'll find someone who knows me or even just has an opinion on me. It's been a long time since there has been a tribute from District 12 in the top eight, and there were two of us now.

I'm getting cold. I end up digging my sleeping bag out but I don't want to risk sticking my busted leg in it so I settle for putting it over me, after I rub some burn ointment on the burns that I got from the explosion. I manage from my spot to cover myself with dried leaves, and pine needles. I wanted to do what could, though I was no Peeta.

Somehow I managed to fall asleep again with my painful injuries sucking all of my energy away.

When I awaken again I nearly panic about being surrounded by leaves and the increased pain until I realize that it wasn't increased, I remember what happened and I sit up, forcing breathes into my lungs. My head cut still stings, and it might have been deeper then I realized but my leg is still burning with the same intensity as the day before. It takes me awhile to pack up, and get on my way.

The stick helps, I can now walk but it's slow going, and I almost trip many times. I have to around some things, and painfully climb over others. I'm making sure that my trail is covered and I don't lead them back to the cave. Peeta must be waiting on me, but I told him not to if I wasn't back. If Peeta really is my Peeta again he'll still be waiting, hoping I make it.

When I make it back to the stream I begin to follow it slowly back up to the cave. It takes me almost all day to make it there. Luckily for me though the trip is uneventful and I make it to the cave, unmet by others. I managed to eat the rest of the bird and the rabbit, as I was now hungry. No doubt it was my human cells trying their hardest to fix me I commended them and thought that when I got back to the Capital, or anywhere, I was going to take a long bath.

There's no Peeta at the sight. I don't worry though. I hadn't looked for any more fires but Peeta was probably a farther way away from the place then I was and I'll wait for him to return. I didn't want him to get caught trying get back to me because he was afraid I'd leave.

I couldn't stay forever though. I spend the time washing by the river. My head stung a bit from it but I had to clean every injury I had, so it didn't become infected. The last one I went for was my leg. The rest of my clothes, besides my undergarments are on the rock beside me. My pants though I'm slowly trying to get off, so as not to put extra pain in my leg. It wouldn't have mattered how delicately I did it. The pants had been tight before when we first started but now I've lost weight, so much that I could see my ribs. I didn't like to think that the whole world could be seeing me almost naked now.

When my pants finally come off my mind was blown out of the water. The entire thing was purple, boarding on black with bruises. It came to my mind that if I had been human I would probably be dead from this by now, the bones having splinted into an important artery. For now I settled with staring at it, trying to find actual cuts. There weren't any, all of it being kept in my body, out of sight, by my unnatural abilities.

It didn't take me much longer to wash after seeing the grotesque sight that my leg made. The clothes didn't stay wet long, as it was getting hotter here. I end up axing some fish. It's a difficult process, and something I wouldn't have bothered with, if my leg wasn't so painful. When Peeta comes back I can teach him how to catch his own fish, as I don't have the ability to catch any more. I even gather some plants that are close by to eat with my fish, though I have to eat the fish raw.

Nasty.

I do a lot of stuff in my cave, waiting for Peeta to show up. I braid my hair, too long, and lace up my boots, which I hadn't bothered with before because of my leg. It's healing a little bit, I can tell. I even use a rock to sharpen my axe. I slowly eat away at my food, and then gathering more. I'm having one of those days that no matter what I do I'm going to be hungry. It's called a hollow day back in District 12. I begin daydreaming about the food back in the Capital, and thinking about Haymitch despite my best efforts.

He has to be watching. Was he sad, angry? Was he even worrying anymore? I was taking pretty good care of myself. He'd been worried before I left I think. I know it wouldn't have been a good idea to wait until he woke up and tell him goodbye but that doesn't make it any better now. I still missed him. This is the longest I've gone without seeing him, or thinking about him. When I saw Peeta, someone from my old life it just drug all of those memories back up.

Were my family all right? Were they missing me? Are they eating enough?

By the time night falls I've decided to go look for Peeta, despite my leg. If anything it would be worse for me to just stay sitting there because my sanity was leaving me the more I stayed still without anything to do.

It's painful but I'm refreshed with a full stomach and a cool head. To make sure that if Peeta comes back and I'm not here I spread out a few bunches of plants that weren't there before. He'll know that I was here, where if the Careers see it they'll think nothing of it. Within two hours I reach the third fire. It hadn't taken long to find, as Peeta had left a trail, not being used to running in the woods like I was.

It hasn't been lit. The wood is still perfectly arranged, and the green leaves he'd placed on top were brown. Peeta set it up, but he wasn't here anymore. What had happened? What stopped him from lighting this fire?

I have to tell myself that Peeta is still alive. He has to be, I haven't heard a cannon go off and my ears were one of the only things that were still working properly and with no resistance. Will his name appear in the sky tonight and I was just not able to hear the cannon in my cave? I hadn't heard the cannon for that one boy who had died the day before. Had he run into someone he hadn't been able to beat? I can't leave him alone, as long as there might be a chance.

It's a relief to be doing something. I manage to pick up a trail of broken branches and newly destroyed leaves. The pain in my leg is unbearable but I sacrifice comfort so that I can stealthily move throughout the woods.

It's about that time that I hear it. The sharp whistle of Peeta. He's in trouble. I almost drop my axe, and my stick in my hurry to get to him. Instead I grit my teeth and infuse a little 'help' into my leg so that I can kind of hobble to find him.

"Peeta!" I let him know I'm coming, that I can hear him. When I do, I'm inraged. He's badly wounded, and tied in a net on the ground. He has just enough time to motion towards something off in the trees and say my name before a spear sinks into his abdomen.

The boy from District One has only the amount of time it takes him to turn around before my axe slices straight through his neck. The amount of strength I'd used sent me to the ground, but I didn't bother looking back at the useless, nameless, waste of space behind me. I crawl to Peeta, dragging my useless leg with me that now sent pain through every system I had.

"Peeta?" I ask as I crawl to him. Oh, no. He's curled around the spear. "Oh, God…" I breathed. "I don't know what to do." I felt the tears begin to roll down my cheeks because there is _nothing _I can do. I can't save a mortals life unless we are bonded. I sobbed as Peeta's slowly glassing eyes looked at me while he held his stomach.

"Did you blow up the food?" Peeta asked.

"Yes, all of it." I told him, smoothing his hair back from his face, and holding his hand that he held out to me, as if he couldn't see me and needed desperately to feel me.

"You have to win…" Peeta coughed, hacking up blood. Had I been in some other realm, or at home, I would have thought it kind of cliché but now I could see the blood, the pain, and it hurt me to see my best friend die.

"I will, for both of us." I told him, squeezing his hand for dear life. I hear a cannon. It must have been for the District 1 boy. My leg hurts. I disregard it in favor of making Peeta comfortable for his last moments, putting his head in my lap.

"Will you sing for me?" Peeta whispered. I barely caught it. I have to stop sobbing but for Peeta's death I could sing a melody. I don't understand why people like my song, but if that's all Peeta wants from me after all of this then I can find it in myself to sing something. I swallow multiple times before my throat clears enough for me to sing.

_Deep in the meadow, under the willow_

_A bed of grass, a soft green pillow_

_Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes_

_And when again they open, the sun will rise._

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings_

_Them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

Peeta's glassy eyes closed. I can barely see his chest move but I have to finish the song for him, he needs it.

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away_

_A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray_

_Forget your woes and let your troubles lay_

_And when again it's morning, they'll wash away._

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm._

I can barely get out the rest of it.

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

Quiet, stillness. His lungs give it one last go before it stops, and Peeta is gone. The tears and sobs are harsh, and racking. Peeta's cannon fires. The mockingjays, the little thing that was on my token, they begin to take up my song in s tormenting kind of tribute to Peeta. He'd sacrificed a lot, and now he wouldn't get to love my sister.

I laid his head down carefully, as if he was only sleeping and I laid a kiss about his forehead. I released his hand and noticed beside me white weed flowers. I didn't have red roses but they would do. I know the gamekeepers will want me gone so that they could get the body but I can't help but to place the flowers on this chest and to remove the spear from his body. I can't stay. I take the pack off of the back of the District 1 boy, uncaring to how his body is treated, not even bothered by the body missing its head.

I can't stop staring at Peeta though. The boy that I'd been through so much with. The boy who'd loved my sister in silence, who'd saved us from bullies, who'd made sure that I always had a friend, that boy was gone and there was nothing I could do about it.

I turn, a foot away from him and I raise three fingers, kissing them before I send them up to the skies, honoring Peeta. I walk away, not looking back. Peeta was gone. I needed to suck it up. There was only one way I could really honor him, and that's to live. And kill those damn careers.

The mockingbirds fall silent as I get far enough away for the hovercraft to pick up Peeta's dead body. I have to wipe away new tears from my eyes. I wait until the birds start singing again before I start off again, holding my axe close to me, waiting for more to come out so I can kill them. I'd retrieved my piece of wood and it was helping my leg, which burned with even the smallest motions. It was unbearable but I'll be damned if it slows me down.

No one shows up though. I make it back to my cave with not a person to kill in sight. Sure, when I want to kill someone they don't show up, but let me be in the midst of something with no weapons and everyone wants a piece.

I sit in my cave, sleeping until dawn, and watch the anthem and the crest show in the sky. There's the boy from district 1, and Peeta. There are six of us left, just six. And I don't have any allies. I'll look through the supplies tomorrow. Tonight I want to sleep, to get away from the horrors of seeing Peeta's face in the back of my mind.

My dream is a soft one, one where I lay in a meadow surrounded by my family, with Haymitch and Peeta is there, laughing and poking fun at me and the world around him. When I awaken again I have to hold myself together and not break apart again.

For hours I sit there motionless, pitying myself, thinking of Peeta. Again it's Haymitch's face, sad worried, and Prim's crying face, Katniss' guilty face, that make me gather myself back together. Katniss would feel guilt. That twin of mine would think it was her fault, just because it was her name called. Stupid, but I could just see Katniss' face filled with guilt while Mom and Prim tried to tell her it wasn't her fault. I would have done the same thing for Prim if it came down to it. I love my family too much. I've taken care of these people for too long just to stop now, when it counts most. I think that they all know that, deep down in their minds. I at least hope they know it.

The boy from District one has several knives, two spare spearheads, a flashlight, a small leather pouch, a first-aid kit, a full bottle of water, and a pack of dried fruit. I groaned. Dried fruit. He must have been confident that he would win. I can only hope that the other careers travel so light. I bothered to eat some of the fruit before I wolfed down s few nearby nuts and roots that I knew were good.

I hid the useless spearheads, into a pile of rocks. I couldn't use them, and I didn't want someone else to find them. I force myself out and I find more food, three more of the turkey like beasts and start a fire right at the entrance to my cave. I just want them to come after me. As I roast the food I wait and wait for them to come, with my axe at the ready.

I don't know why they don't come. They could have put it all together and realized that I did all of this, or maybe they think someone else did it. They could think that this was an obvious trick, and whoever killed the District one boy is ready for them. I doubt they think Rue did it, or that they even remember Foxface. It's a possibility they think Thresh is to blame, but the last that I had seen of him had been him disappearing into the tall grass.

They'll play the games over again, I'll know then. When the victor wins they are place in a seat of honor, with their support team with them to watch their winning game. But I promised I'd win, I'd promised a lot of people that, including myself.

Eventually I head back inside my cave, after extinguishing the fire. I didn't want a replay of the fire invasion. According to the sky it had been a completely dull day, they'll probably fix that at some point. I snuggle down, ready to get some sleep again.

Then I hear the trumpets blare and I forget my stick, hobbling to the entrance to the cave. Sometimes, in some games, there are trumpets announcing a 'feast'. It's the only other time we get contacted by anyone outside of the arena other than the death toll. The feast could be anything to a real feast, to just a piece of dried up, and disgusting bread for us to compete for.

I wouldn't go but this could mean that I could kill some people.

Claudius Templesmith's voice sounds out through the arena. He congratulates us. It isn't exactly a feast. He says that we all need something, something important. He says tomorrow that there will be a package at the cornucopia waiting for us.

He has to repeat it once before I start breathing again. They'll have something for my leg. I want to scream in happiness. With it fixed I could go on the offensive again. I could make it through the games that way.

I pick up everything as he repeats it one more time. I need to get there. It was already late in the day. I need to take my time, because if I have to get back out in the clearing I was going to need to put a lot of weight on my leg, and I mean some that were going to make it a lot worse in the future. I would need to run there, grab whatever it was, and run back.

I didn't know if I could do it but I pushed myself to get to the clearing. I needed to do it. I had to make it through, and I would, without letting the humans on. With the pain coming from my leg I didn't think I would be able to stand not going to get it. How would I make it through knowing I'd wasted a way that I could have made it feel better? Its late before I get there, and I'm sweating. I'm glad that I got so much sleep because with the slow pace that I've kept, and the pain of my leg, and the stealth, I hadn't gotten there until sun up. The others must already be there.

I waited, looking around. Nothing had changed at all. The mess was off to the right, near the lake, and the path to the Cornucopia was clear, but there was no package there. Just as I began to panic the earth literally split open and up popped a table, slowly, with bags on it. I could see the District numbers on it and I stared in amazement.

It lost me time I needed, as out of the cornucopia came Foxface in a fast manner. I didn't know what she had needed, or for what reason but she zoomed off as soon as she had it in a different direction. Oh no. I couldn't waste any time gathering my breath or steeling myself, I needed to get to the table, before someone got there first and got my bag.

I sent a shot of healing through my leg, and took off. I had my axe in my hand as I came into the clearing but it didn't slow me down, neither did the pain. With all of the adrenaline running through my veins I could have been breaking my leg and not knowing it. The leg itself felt worse the more it hit the ground, and like Jell-O.

I made it all the way to the table and grabbed the bag. I didn't have time to assess it. My leg stuttered, and I stumbled but I kept turning to head back. Luck was again on my side that my axe was placed just right that the knife that had whizzed at me hit it, and not my heart.

I sputtered to a stop, and was bowled over by a body with blonde hair. I cried out in extreme agony as my leg was landed on. The scream that tore through me didn't distract me, but I'd dropped my axe beside me. I struggled with however was on me. They had a knife and were placing it against my mouth. I was scared as images came back of a knife against my mouth, of pain ripping through my body surrounding my mouth.

My arms were thrown down and I was unable to move any of my upper body and my lower body was as lost a cause as the top.

"Hello, Katfir." The girl, Clove the girl sitting on my chest grts me with a smile filled with malicious. This is rather unfortunate. "Or should I say lover girl?" She spits beside my head and I cringe away from the liquid.

"How's it going?" I grunt out, trying to sound sarcastic but the pain is eating me alive, nearly stealing all of my attention. I throw it some more healing vibes before I pay attention to the girl on top of me.

"Splendid now." She grins, nicking the corner of mouth to show me who was in power.

"Great. I'm doing pretty wonderful myself." I lied, she knew it.

"Liar." She grinned. "I told Cato that I'd save you for him. He's out there hunting now, for that little girl. The one that tagged along with you in the training rooms. He's going to take all of his pain out on her. What's in the backpack? Some kind of silly thing for your leg?" She kicks her leg behind her and I scream again when my leg sparks as if someone kicked a can of gas into a fire.

She opens her jacket, and in there are more knifes, different kinds, and lots of them. She takes her time selecting one with a curve to it, replacing the rather now plain looking knife into its slot in her jacket. I grimace on sight.

"I guess I'll just have to give them a good show, won't I? To make up for it." She puts the blade into my mouth and my eyes widened. I try to struggle, to buck her off but my energies are focused on helping my leg not become completely useless. I can't do anything yet. My brains locking down in fear.

"Let's give you a new scar shall we? To match the one at your mouth?" My brain panics even more. When had the one on the side of my face start showing? Then I remember hastily that if I was in too much pain that my energy would focus on the immediate threat. How long had this been visible? The Capital would ask questions, I'd have to lie. Or not.

For a mere second my eyes rolled back into my head as I used all of my energy to make them think it was in my records, to think that the scar had been there a long time. I made it be in my past. I hated that the 'spell' would also affect my family, and Haymitch, but it was better than them knowing. The last time someone found out…..

I didn't finish the thought as my energy returned back to the leg, her knife began cutting into my skin.

The scream that escaped me could be heard throughout the entire arena.

**I know, I know. What am I thinking? But honestly, what could I have blamed the scar on? I had to make there be a spell where she changed it. How else was it going to be explained? I've had this part planned out for so long that it isn't even funny. I hope you enjoyed it anyways.**

**On to planning the next chapter, and to a night with no sleep!**


	21. To

The sheer pain of it left me incapable of forming any kind of explanatory sentence to you today. The break of nerves, of veins, of blood vessels, were too much for my fractured mind to comprehend. Something inside me broke as the knife cut cleanly through the side of my cheek. On top of my injuries, on top of Peeta's death, and on top of being sent into this entire situation, my cheek was now gone.

My screams only tore the skin more. I could hear her sadistic laugh as she practically ripped the dripping blade from my mouth. The blood dropped into my mouth, threatening to suffocate me, and I turned my head instinctually to the side and in the time I did her weight disappeared and I heard a crunch, and then a slam.

When I was released my body lifted from the ground in pain and I screamed again. All I could hear was the voice of a boy as my pain led on to an amount of immeasurable hurt.

"What'd you do to that little girl?" The man screams. I manage to see Thresh there. IT's strange as he's never lifted his voice above a murmur. I must be hysterical by now with the amount of blood I'm losing. My energy is now split between keeping my leg functioning, and trying to close the cut on my face, and then keeping enough blood in my system. "You kill her?"

"No! No, it wasn't me!" Clove tries to tell him as he dangles her above the ground.

"You talked about her, I heard you." Then a thought passes through his mind and he looks even more enraged. "Did you cut her up like you were going to cup up this girl here?" What was he talking about? Rue was still alive? Wasn't she? I can see bumps along his skin though. He must have gotten into something. He must have been insane by now.

"No, I-" She sees my axe resting in Thresh's hand and screams for her boy. "Cato! Cato!"

"Clove!" He's too far away. I want to giggle, or my body does but if I open my mouth I'll have blood going again. It's stopping, unnaturally fast but that's what my energy is for. I could only stare as my senses went wild.

Thresh wastes no time and brings down my axe into Clove's temple. I cringe with the amount of blood that comes out of her head. Thresh drops her, wrenching the axe out. I look at him, helplessly as he turns to me, with the axe raised.

"What was she talking about, about Rue?" He asked me, stepping forward. I risked opening my mouth just enough to talk.

"Rue and Peeta and I were in train-ing together." I rasped; quiet because I was incapable of anything louder. "We took care of her, taught her what we knew." I shrunk back to the ground. "Do it fast okay?" I just wanted the pain to end for a little while. It doesn't hit my mind that I won't actually die; I'll just be in more pain when I awake.

"Just this one time, I let you go." Thresh surprised me. He dropped my axe by my feet. "For the little girl. You and me, we're even then. No more owed. You understand?" He asked. I nodded as best I could. I watched as Thresh left. I understood owing someone. I did. Thresh runs to get his bag and I stumble up, holding one hand to my cheek, scooping up my blade and my bag with the other.

"Clove!" I can tell by the pain in that yell that Cato is close enough to see her dead body on the ground. I divert the energy keeping my pieces of mouth together so that I could use it to pump into my leg, so I can run. It doesn't help a lot, but it helps enough as I scramble away into the nearest part of the forest, conveniently the way I need to go.

I turn my head just enough to see Cato to get up from where he'd kneeled beside Clove and start running furiously after Thresh. In a few minutes of running, wiping blood from my cheek and holding them together with one hand, I hear the cannon for Clove, but I'm not done running.

Then I stumbled and fell to the ground. I moaned piteously, letting my energy divert some of its energy back to my cheek. She'd cut right through the side of my cheek and into my mouth, and the blood was too dangerous for me to lay flat so again I propped myself against a tree. I can't imagine that my leg was any better. The only way I could even run on it was to try and heal it some. It only reacted worse when I had to stop.

My pain was almost so much that I didn't hear the hasty trumpets, and the sound of Claudius Templesmith came on to announcing something else. A game change! I looked to the sky crying, tears that stung my slashed cheek.

"As of now, if the two left are of the same gender, then they can therefore win the Hunger Games."

It barely clicked in my mind why they were doing this, because they wanted Rue and I to win, the Capital must have thrown a real fit once they'd seen what had happened what must have been two hours ago by now. I screamed when some movement came into my view. I wouldn't make it very well if someone attacked me but the person made a shushing sound, and out from the bushes came my indirect savior, Rue.

After that I passed out, from too much shock, too much pain. I don't think I'll ever know which. I just know that I was really lucky that Rue decided to help me then.

I was in and out for a long time. Every time I woke up all I could do was scream, or thrash. When I was asleep I saw people around me dying, or myself dying. It all was so much pain. I couldn't stand being awake or asleep for a long time. I don't know how long it took, or what was going on all I knew was the last time I awoke my cheek didn't hurt so much, and my leg wasn't in as much pain.

"Are you awake?" I heard a sweet voice say and for a moment I thought I was at home, that I'd got attacked by a bear and that was why I was in so much pain. Prim and Mom were looking out for me, and the person holding my hand was Katniss. I was wrong.

The shadow that was over me was small, but it wasn't Prim. It was Rue.

I flinched and she shushed me.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I'm Rue, remember?" Rue asked, and I went to tell her yes but she stopped me.

"You shouldn't open your mouth, its cut really bad, and could reopen really easily." She told me, moving away for a second and returned with some water. I took a few sips, moaning in my raw throat. I must have been screaming a lot. When she set my head down, as she'd held it awhile, I had to help her as she moved me to a seated position. I realized with a jolt that we were in my cave.

"Where?" I grunted out. I could open it enough to speak, as long as I remembered to be careful. Something was holding down my cheek. It was keeping it together.

"Let me explain." Rue said, and I watched her dab a cloth at my mouth and then glance at my leg. I looked to and stared. There was some kind of medal contraption on it. It looked medical, and like it was from the Capital. It kept my leg straight, and unmoving. A Brace, my mind drug up a name. It would keep it from hurting so much, and help it mend. The sides of the brace were on my bruises, and it still hurt to have them doing that.

"I was following you, and Peeta. That's how I know where this cave is. At first I was only following you, and then the tracker jacker happened. I lost you for a long time but I found you again two days before the feast." Rue's little voice explained. I stared at her, wanting to hear the rest. "I didn't know what to do, when you went out of the cave so I followed you again. I couldn't do anything about Clove, I'm really sorry but I don't have any weapons." I lifted my hand weakly and waved it away.

"Well, after they announced that they were going to let us win, I got to you as soon as I could, so I could help you. See I didn't…I didn't want to see you die so I'd left. When I found you the blood was really really bad. I tried my best to make you better. I even figured out how to get the thingy in your bag on you." She pointed to the brace and I nodded, unable to smile at her in thanks now with my cheek like it was.

"I had some string, or twine, or whatever it was, and a needle in my bag that I got, so I stitched it up. My dad was the doctor in District 11. I did it just like him and I tried my best to do it even but it doesn't look too nice. I used most of the first aid kit. I hope you don't mind." She pointed to where she'd strewn all of my stuff out. I felt like crying. This kid had probably saved me from so much pain that if I could I'd just hug her to death.

"How….Long?" I asked, it came out mangled but she understood.

"You've been out for two weeks. There have been a few fires, but the gamekeepers have been pretty mellow." She told me, picking up a bowl full of roots, greens, and some dried fruit. "They'll do whatever they want now that you're okay, so let's get some food in you." She seemed so happy doing this. She reminded me of Prim so much that I opened my mouth so she could put a little into my mouth. As she chattered away, trying to fill me in I listened closely.

"I had to feed you, and to take care of you but it was really easy. You only have to move your neck to get you to eat. It hurt you a lot at first, because you'd grimace a lot. I hope you'll be better now, because the wound in your mouth looks better, but it's still red." She told me, pointing at it and I half smiled at her. She was so energetic, much more then she was in the training area. Maybe she was just happy to finally have someone she could talk to again.

She has a pot, which she has set over some hot rocks its then that I realize it's really hot. She seems to read my mind.

"It's been raining a lot, a really heavy downpour. That red haired lady died the first day. I had to put up a lot of rocks, so the river wouldn't get in here." I jolted again.

"What?" I coughed, holding my cheek.

"Oh," She moved over to me, checking me over. She seemed to think I'd done no real damage. "She was probably drowned or something. I'd seen her once, where she was. It was a really big hole in the ground. I don't think she made it through that." She looked at me, pursing her lips. "You didn't like her, right?" She asked me, a little cautious.

"No…surprised." I tried to explain. She brightened.

"Okay then." She sits down beside me and smiles. I'm already feeling sleepy again. "You can sleep some more. You'll probably be out for a little while." She told me, nodding. There weren't a lot of us left, right? Rue, me, Cato, and Thresh. I fell into sleep again.

It felt like such a short time that I had been asleep, but when I woke up again it was thundering outside, chaotically. Then I fell asleep again, barely noticing the shaking body against me. My arm went around what my mind thought was Prim's shaking shoulder's before slumber took over again.

This time when I woke up it was for good.

My eyes opened and I was refreshed. The pain was normal, and it didn't hurt as much. I looked down. The brace was doing its job, keeping me still and okay. Rue must have been paying attention to her father, and my energy must now be focusing on my cheek because I could feel it closing up in my mouth. I could probably talk now without too much fear.

"You've been out for two days." I look over at Rue again and there she is like a little angel. Everything seems so fast, so close together. "There was a storm." She muttered, picking up another bowl. I raised my hands, taking it myself. The bowl itself was some kind of plant seed. A…coconut? I decided not to ask, and instead I began eating myself, brightening Rue's expression.

"You're okay now…right?" Rue asked. I opened my mouth, testing my cheek. Yeah. It was okay.

"I'm better." I told her, smiling. She let out a breath and I took a moment to observe my savior. She looked really young, Prim's age but by the lines on the corners of her eyes and the stressed way she held herself I can tell this hasn't been the funniest ride in the world for her either. She'll be okay I hope, now that I'm better. I want to help her now. I hate owing a debt to someone.

"Thank you, for taking care of me." I seriously told her, eating the plants she'd gathered for me.

"Your welcome." She said, picking up a handful of roots and berries for herself. I smiled. "Plus, I thought maybe if I took care of you, that you might want to team up?" She asked me, smiling. "I've been watching you and we could win." I put down the bowl that I'd completely cleaned out. I don't know where she got them, but oh well.

"I think so to." I agreed, ruffling her hair. She scowled playfully and tried to get it back in order. My own hair I didn't know about. It was out and about, having at some point been taken out of its twist. "Do you know what's going on?" I asked her. She shook her head.

"It's been really un-eventful here. I think somethings going on between Thresh and Cato that's making them let us stay here." Rue theorized.

"I agree." I told her, sitting back. She eyed me.

"Are you going to sleep again?" I snorted.

"No, I think I've slept about enough for my lifetime." I told her, feeling the cheek. It was still sore. If I was asked, I'd put it up to fast healing, Capital drugs, and Rue that it had healed so well, so fast. My leg though I couldn't get a read on it. All I knew was I could bend my leg, and it sent a shot of pain up my body, but not nearly as bad as before. It actually felt kind of numb.

"I used some pain killer from the first aid kit." Rue explained when I asked her why it was so numb. After that I asked questions about Rue. For lack of anything to do. It was still raining outside, I could both hear and see it.

"I lived with six siblings. I'm the oldest." Rue supplied.

"Do you harvest?" I asked her, curious.

"Yeah. I'm one of the only ones that can reach the tops of the trees. It helps my family since I get better pay for it." Rue said, smiling at my questions. She really was a grown up girl, just like Prim tried to be. "And Dad is the doctor at home. He get paid enough for that, because there are a lot of injuries."

"Your Mom?" I asked her.

"She works in the orange orchards, because she's really good at figuring out if something has some kinds of worms or even bad spots." Rue was very happy with her family. She was a good kid. "What about your family?" Rue curiously asked. I quieted.

"My Dad was killed in the mines." I whispered and Rue's eyes sparked with horror and recognition.

"Oh, no. I'm sorry, I forgot." Rue said.

"No, it's all right. Anyways my Mom's still alive. She isn't a doctor, but she's more of an herbiest turned witch doctor. People come to her when they need help and can't afford it. She always has some kind of remedy for them to." I smiled at the memories of my mother. "My sister, Katniss. She's my twin. We look a lot alike, except she's really gorgeous. Her hair's always in a braid, because she says we'll match that way. She likes to sew, when she can, so sometimes I spend a little extra money I get from my…job, and I get her some stuff to do it with."

"That's really sweet." Rue whispered, and I blinked.

"I suppose, but if I didn't she'd nag me." I exasperatedly said, making Rue giggle. "And Prim, she's our little sister. Really cute, with blonde hair from mom. She doesn't really like to be seen. She's terribly shy, and she kind of hates adventure. I think she fell off a tree when she was younger and Dad just picked her up." I laughed, wincing slightly when it pulled on my new wound.

"She sounds really nice."

"She is. You remind me a lot of her. That's why I trusted you, when we were in training." I told Rue, blinking out of my memories. "She liked to help people to, and she was really good at it, like you." I complemented.

"I'm not that good. You heal really fast." Rue waved it away.

"None sense. It was all you." I told her strongly. She was quiet after that, slowly snuggling in to me. The storm was dying down now, and the sun was going down. I could hear the rain hitting the ground less and less, and it was getting dark with only a little bit of clouds outside.

Then we heard the anthem. I looked out and moved over to watch, Rue walked over. And together we saw the death toll, Thresh. I breathed out in horror. That man had saved my life. I could never thank him enough for that. Never.

I turned to Rue and she looked extremely sad. There wasn't anything we could do. Except avenge Thresh, end every other person that Cato had killed for the _fun _of it. I don't think he ever did it because he had to. He did it because he wanted to, and because he was programmed to think it was fun. Maybe it was there fault to, his parents for teaching him to be this way. That's what usually happens in the Career packs.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. She shrugged. I hesitated once before getting on my good knee, bending the other in its brace so that I could embrace Rue. She tensed before sobbing into my shoulder. Something told me that when we hadn't been looking Rue and Thresh had made a connection. We probably hadn't heard the cannon because of the thunder and now we had been taken by surprise. I have had enough of surprises.

"Rue." I told her, looking her in the eyes. "I'm good enough to walk, and I think we can do something." I picked up my axe, which sat opposite me. "We should do something. Stop waiting. Cato's alone now, and with this brace my leg can take my weight now." I told her. Her eyes widened and she looked at me as I stood. It hurt but I was tired. We were so close to winning that I could smell it. I could do more than smell it. I could see it.

"But…"

"Rue, without Thresh, Cat is only going to be going after us now. He'll only hunt us. I've been around this area so many times that he's probably already looking for me here. What if we bring the fight to him?" I begged her. "I want to get you out of here alive. You didn't have anyone to volunteer for you at the reaping, so I'll do the job here." I told her, also picking up a knife and handing it to her.

"Okay." She whispered, taking the blade. In silence we gathered our stuff. I was pumped, my leg still hurt, but it would be nothing now. Because of Rue I was better. I was capable. Because of this little miracle I was going to make it through this, and save one life. Then I hear a beeping and I put my arm out, stopping Rue.

There is a basket, with a parachute flying down to us. I catch it in my arms and nearly cry when I see what is inside it, food. Good, Capital prepared food. I look down at Rue's face and I realized no one must have sent her anything, because she's looking now as if it's the greatest gift in the world.

I know what Haymitch is trying to say by it though. Wait.

"Rue, let's go eat. It'll be better if we wait until the morning anyways." Rue nodded enthusiastically and I smile as I take her back into the cave, glancing around the area, just waiting for Cato, the last one left to try and come after us.

He didn't. Instead I was opening a large jar of mashed potatoes. They have the sauvce on them, just like I'd told Caesar Flickerman that I loved. They've sent us more, rolls, butter, pasta, and even silverware. Rue and I are sure that whatever comes, we'll be leaving soon so we eat, staying slow so that we don't vomit it all up.

After we do eat as much as we can, we save the rest for breakfast and I gathered Rue up, without her asking and together, as it was freezing now, we laid in my sleeping bag. As Rue, the girl who had saved me, and made me her friend so soon, fell into slumber I thought of how thankful I was for her, and how much I couldn't wait to see Haymitch again.

Maybe, if I had a little girl just like Rue I could stand having children. They'd be really good at holding it all in, and what were the chances that my kids would get chosen for the reaping?

I fell asleep wandering.

**Okay, one more chapter to go. I may not have to actually pull an all nighter for this! But I really want to get this done and there isn't much left to it…. I hope you like it! I actually have written the next one, and I'm going to post it.**

**I want you to know, in case you didn't read the other ones. This is the ONLY hunger games story that I am doing. There will be no sequel or anything like that. When I post this one and the next one tonight, that's it. No more. Don't ask for any either. It'll only make me feel bad.**

**Sorry to be short with you. I want to go to bed. The all nighter thing was just a joke really. I love sleep too much to be that obsessed with it.**


	22. Darling, that's all I ask of you!

At the lake. That's where Rue and I stage our battle. It's where Cato is most likely to come. It had been easier to walk on my leg with the brace on and it had kept it stable. I'd still chosen to use a stick to get here, but that was to keep the stress off of the leg, in case I needed it later. The brace itself was extremely sturdy, and would take a few hits, but I needed to make sure that my tender cheek wasn't attacked when Cato showed up.

Except he didn't. Rue and I spent most of the day, tense waiting for him. The sun was setting before I even realized, we might be waiting for a trap. In the dark, I could change my eyes, but Rue couldn't. And Cato would be dead, but I didn't want to risk it.

"What should we do?" Rue asked me, as the sun started disappearing behind the sky.

"I don-" Then it happened, the thing that changed the game. Cato came crashing out of the trees and I jumped to my feet with my axe ready. Rue had the knives, for her own protection but Cato didn't do anything. He didn't even pay attention, just kept running. It was only seconds later that I figured out why.

"Run!" I screamed at Rue, no doubt making my wound bleed. Behind Cato had come these things, wild, crazy, and large they barreled through the field towards us. Rue and I turned quickly trying to follow Cato, who was trying now to climb the cornucopia. It was all happening so fast, it was like stop and go since I'd awakened.

The things behind us were like nothing I'd seen before but I couldn't run very fast, and it seemed like I would be seeing them sooner than I thought. Rue reached the cornucopia before I did, making it up. Cato must have been dying on the other side or something because Rue appeared over the edge, trying to help me up. The dogs were just a few yards behind me when I got my leg over the top of the Cornicopia.

"What in the world was that?" I gasped out, holding onto my leg as blood dripped from my mouth. Rue was breathing hard behind me but Cato was on the other side like I'd thought he would be, and he was breathing hard as well, also trying to say something.

"What?" I asked.

"He's asking if they were climbing up." Rue said, scared as she clutched a piece of my shirt. I looked over the side. The things were large, with their skin a dark brown and they had almost no fur on them. Disgusting.

I turn from them just in time for Rue to be taken captive by Cato. I cry out, and raise my axe, but it's a stalemate. He has some kind of armor on, I can see it, just under his shirt. It's flesh colored but that doesn't matter now. I can see his face is uncovered. I can do him in. Right when I launch my hand back he throws Rue over the side.

"No!" I lunge after her but Cato catches me in the headlock that I'm unable to break. And like Lightnening Rue's life ends. I watch in horror as she's ripped to pieces. Then it's rage corsing through my veins and I do worse then break Cato's hold. I stomp with the brace on his foot and he cries out. I turn around as he reflexively let go and I grab his head, jumping on his back quickily.

I hold his head and locked his arms by his side with my legs, the brace to heavy and forming a perfect place for me to lock my foot in. "Burn in hell." I growled before my arms snapped his neck.

At the same time Rue's cannon goes off, then Cato's.

I'm the last one standing…and I don't know if I want to be.

XXXXX

It only takes them seconds to descend on me. I barely hear the voice announce that I was the victor. I could barely hear anything. All I could do is stand and stare at where Rue's remains were. Then the hovercraft comes, letting down a ladder. I guess it was over. Rue and I hadn't known each other that much, and Peeta's death was far away. I wanted it behind me.

I grabbed the bar, and I froze, just like before. But unlike before when they let me go I pass out, unable to cope again. I must be pathetic. I can't even stay awake. I hadn't even known Rue that well, but she'd saved me, more than once though I don't know if she ever knew it. The death had been so fast, like lightning. I didn't know what to feel.

Now I sat here. I was in some kind of infirmary. The nurse had told me that it was in the Capital, and I'd be released soon. I was stuck on the other news. I was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at my leg. They said they did all that they could but even the fancy Capital medicine hadn't been able to save the functions of some of my leg. They'd given me a cane and said that I'd have trouble walking at first, but I'd be all right.

As for my cheek, they'd wanted to do surgery. I wouldn't let them. I wanted this scar. The leg would fade when I died, really died, but the scar would remain, as they are want to do. The only thing that kept me going, as I stared down at this leg, was Haymitch. The thought of finally returning to him, and my family was the only happy thought that I could cling to.

It wouldn't be long until I saw him again. They'd dressed me up in a beautiful red dress, with flamed gloves but it wasn't made by Cinna, obviously. I gulped as I tried to stand. My leg wobbled horribly and I began to fall when someone caught me. I looked up.

"Hello Sweetheart." And I was kissed.

**I'm sorry it was so short, I just thought it fit. Forgive me if you don't like it. I'm grumpy though because I'm really tired. To be honest I lost the feeling on this story a long time ago and it's been a pain ever since. I will always finish my stories though, even if I don't do the sequel. **

**Thank you guys so much for reading this, and reviewing. I know you might be mad at me for killing off Rue and Peeta but….get over it. ;D Thank you!**


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